Chapter 27
Patrick
Icanfeelmyselfgetting attached to Ellie.
She is constantly in my head. Her hair, her eyes, her body, her humor, her personality, and the sex are all taking up a large capacity of my brain, and it’s not the worst thing.
Flashbacks of Ellie in the hotel room constantly cloud my memory. The sex was absolutely mind blowing, and it’s been a long time since I've felt a connection like that. Despite all of the time we’ve spent together, I can’t get enough of her, but this weekend doesn’t change anything. We haven’t talked about what sleeping together meant, but I would be stupid to think that it means anything more than what it is.
The car ride is quiet.
I was worried that it was going to be awkward after everything that happened, but it’s not. We have grown surprisingly comfortable with each other, and there is no need to fill the silence between us.
Before we got in the car, I told her that she could choose the music since she spent all weekend talking about listening to the new Noah Kahan album, and she lit up. Jamming along to the music, she taps her fingers to the beat of whatever song is playing on her thighs—or the window or the glove compartment.I keep trying to catch glances, but it's more important to keep my eyes on the road.
It isn’t until halfway through our drive that I realize that we need to talk about what happened this weekend. I don’t need to know what it means, but we need to know what the plan is moving forward. Honestly, I don’t even know if we’re still fake dating or if that ended when we slept together.
My mind goes back to when she tried to break it off last night; it threw me completely off balance. I refused to believe it, and I’m glad that I questioned it or who knows what would’ve happened. Rebecca gets what she wants, and Ellie thinks I’m a total jerk?
Gripping the steering wheel hard, I try to push those thoughts away.
Knowing how much Ellie worries about things, I have no idea why she hasn’t tried to talk about everything yet. It could be for the same reasons I have, but maybe not. Taking a deep breath in, I just have to be straightforward about this, and it will all be fine.
“So—” I turn the volume down and look over at her, clearing my throat. There was a plan, but it all goes out the window. “We slept together.”
What the fuck, Patrick? You could’ve said anything else, and it would have sounded better than that.
I want to kick myself until Ellie’s gasp gets my attention, overthinking turning into concern.
“Oh my god. You were there for that?” She says sarcastically. “That’s really embarrassing.”
Rolling my eyes, I nudge her. “I think you joke too much.”
“You think I joke the perfect amount. You actually think it’s one of my best qualities.” I glance over, and she’s giving me a big, cheesy smile.
Of course she's right.
I love the way she can joke with me. Some people probably get annoyed with it, but it shows me that she’s comfortable enough to poke fun at me. And, if I weren’t driving right now, I would pull over and kiss that smile right off of her face.
Letting out a sigh, I don’t want to ask the question that’s been on the forefront of my mind. I’m not prepared for the answer, but that doesn’t stop me from asking. “Does it ruin the whole fake dating thing?”
I would understand if Ellie wanted to stop this. She has so much going on in her life, and the last thing that I want to do is complicate that more.
“I don’t think so.” Her voice is sweet, and I can’t help the smile that takes over my face. It would’ve been fine if she said yes, but I was not ready to say goodbye to Ellie just yet. If anything, she has become my friend over the last few weeks, and I don’t want to lose that part of her—or any part of her.
She reaches over and places a hand behind my neck, partially cupping my cheek, and I lean into her touch as she moves her fingertips against my skin. The attempt to suppress my smile fails.
“Okay, good. You make a very convincing fake girlfriend, and I think my friends are getting a little attached. I don’t want you to break their hearts just yet.”
My tone is joking, but I’m more afraid of what it will do to me more than my friends.
But, now that I’m thinking about it, they would definitely give me shit for breaking up with Ellie, whether it’s fake or not. Thankfully, it is not a problem now that I know we’re solid.
“That’s fair. Your friends are pretty great.” Ellie looks out the window and tucks her feet under her thighs before speaking again. “Um, I also wouldn’t be opposed to adding a friends with benefits clause to our fake dating contract—” She hesitates. “As long as that’s also what you want. If not, I’d get it.”
She would understand if I didn’t want to keep sleeping with her? How, in her right mind, could she possibly think that I wouldn’t want that?
Fuck, being with her has been the most fun I’ve had in such a long time. It’s partially about my own sexual benefits, but I love an excuse to be close to Ellie and make her feel good. Every time I made her come felt like an accomplishment.
