He slides a very fake resume across my desk.
Plain as day:
Matt Dolstrom
Objective:Corporate things.
Skills:Various.
Oh, he’s enjoying this.
I narrow my eyes. “How did you…wait. Matt Dolstrom is your… corporate avatar?”
He winks, exaggeratedly. “Every hero needs an alter ego.”
I want to fling myself out the window. “Not sure this is a good idea.”
“Not sure?” he says, clasping his hands together like a CEO of chaos, “Aren’t you going to… interview me first?”
I take a steadying breath. He is out of his mind. Completely, beautifully out of his mind.
But two can play unhinged.
I flip to a blank page of my notebook.
“Fine,” I say coolly. “Let’s begin.”
His smirk sharpens.
“Great,” he murmurs. “I’m very…employable.”
My thighs clench.
This is illegal.
This entire interaction is illegal.
“So, Matt,” I say, crossing my legs to regain dignity, “tell me, what special skill sets do you bring to the position?”
He pretends to think, tapping the side of his cheek.
“Well, I have excellent stamina.”
My pen clatters to the desk, and I clear my throat.
“And,” he continues, far too innocently, “I can be extremely…hands-on. I’m definitely willing to come…into the office.”
I choke on air.
“Also,” he adds quietly, leaning forward, “I take direction well…when needed.”
“Ah. Okay.”
“And other times? I like to take control.”
Heat floods my neck.
“Mr. Dolstrom,” I manage, “I think you might be an HR problem.”
