I am—I was—just a thing she’s trying on until life takes her somewhere more permanent.
Maybe it’s for the best, and we’re supposed to end here, today.
Before things get messy forreal.
Before I want more.
Before she realizes I don’t fit into her world at all.
I put my phone face-down on my thigh.
Stare out across the lake.
A couple strolls by holding hands.
Unfortunately, it’s a little late for me not wanting more.
She leans her head on his shoulder, and he kisses her hair.
The ache of envy hits at full force.
I thought I didn’t want anything serious.
Thought I was fine being her secret little distraction.
But watching her walk away earlier?
Yeah.
It hurt.
My phone vibrates suddenly, and I nearly drop it.
Her name pops up.
Elena: Made it to the bar! Harper’s already drunk lol. How’s your night going?
My heart lifts…then sinks.
She doesn’t know.
She doesn’t know I got fired because of her.
She doesn’t know how messed up I feel.
She doesn’t know anything.
She’s just… checking in, innocent, friendly and casual.
Do I just suck at communicating? Am I totally misreading the situation?
I stare at her message for a long time.
I type something.
Delete it.
Type something else.
