Then I laugh. Soft, horrified, breathless. I let it out.
“Oh my god. Elena. Pull it together.”
But I don’t pull it together. Not even close, because another image flashes behind my eyes.
Colt’s hand braced by my head.
His body close, his breath on my cheek, and his voice low as he whispered,Tell me no.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
No.
No no no.
This is too much.
This is dangerous.
This is…
My phone buzzes.
I jump a full inch off the couch.
Colt: So yeah, I’m looking forward to this week’s workout.
Elena: Good. Me too.
Colt: Hey…btw…were you serious about that whole “casual” thing you mentioned? That’s what you want?
My lungs briefly forget how to work while I type out a response.
Elena: Yeah. I think so. I just…I don’t think I can handle like…I don’t know. Something heavy right now.
Three dots appear.
Disappear.
Then reappear.
Colt: Tell me more.
I chew my lip.
My fingers hover.
Elena: I just can’t get my heart involved. But my sex life the last five years…I don’t want to get into detail, but it’s been a rough go. So a little spark would be nice. With someone I trust, of course.
A beat.
Then:
Colt: Yeah. The, uh, hate’ thing you mentioned.
Elena: Sorry that kind of poured out of me. I don’t know where that came from. Maybe forget I said it.
Colt: Too late. I thought it was hot anyway. So question along with that. You don’t like it a little…rough…do you? Can’t handle it?
