Chapter 18 - Blair
My thoughts are spinning since I discovered everything in Simon’s office. It looks like an obsessive downward spiral. He has meticulous plans and prints outs and details that even I never knew about my stepbrother and his friends when I was younger. So that is what he’s been doing this past week. That’s why he hasn’t been sleeping or eating properly and hardly notices when I stand in the doorway of his office to say hello. I was getting worried about him.
I can’t believe he did all of that behind my back. When we were in the Bahamas, I thought I made it clear to him that I wasn’t interested in revenge—that I wanted to leave it in my past where it belongs. Why is he dragging it to the surface now—and why is he so hell-bent on hurting people? I know what Anthony did was wrong, and I know he’s a terrible person, but it’s not my place to hurt him or ruin his life. His own karma will find him soon enough without help from me. If I spent my whole life hating him and wanting revenge, it would eat away at who I am. There was a conscious choice made when I left it behind, when I left home. A choice to leave it there in that small town and never look back.
I’m driving away from the mansion, toward the mall. My eyes constantly drift to the rearview mirror to make sure no one is following me. Simon doesn’t like it when I go out alone, but I’m being careful, and I’ll make sure I stay in safe places full of people. I need time alone to think.
On one hand, I want to scream at him for what he’s doing.
On the other hand, I understand he’s doing it because he cares about me. Maybe what he cares about is justice. Some twisted form of lawless justice.
I don’t know.
He’s clearly furious with Anthony, which is fair. I can’t blame him for that, but to take such extreme measures. This is my past, not his.
So, one side of me is angry with him, and one side is understanding. One part of me wants to yell, and another wants to pull him into a hug and tell him it’s okay, he can let it go.
Somewhere in between those two reactions, I have to find a way to talk to him without turning this into a massive fight.
If I had stayed in the mansion now, I feel like I would have exploded at him, and I don’t want that.
The mall is busy, and the noise and buzz of people are, thankfully, soothing my thoughts into a calmer state of mind. I made the right choice to get out of there and be alone for a bit.
Browsing stores and buying a few items here and there makes me laugh. `I guess this is what they mean when they say retail therapy. It was never something I could afford. I used to window-shop, notactualshop. It’s funny, but it works. The little boosts of meaningless dopamine when you buy something you like are enough to distract you from something that’s bothering you, even if it’s a temporary solution.
After an hour of roaming around, I feel so much better and decide it’s time to head home and speak to Simon. Then maybe we can get some dinner after that. My stomach is starting to growl from hunger.
My body is lighter, no longer clouded with anger, when I turn back toward the exit where I parked. The shopping bags swing back and forth in my hands.
But as I turn, I notice a man in a dark suit with his eyes locked onto me. My heart stops for a second. There is somethingeerie about him. He seems so out of place in the mall. Everyone else is wearing summer clothes. Light fabrics, bright colors, even the ones who are in work attire are not headed to toe black and ominous like that.
A nervous laugh slips from my lips, and I shake my head, telling myself I’m being paranoid.
But as I move, the man follows.
It’s okay, I’ll quickly prove that I’m just overreacting.
I take a few unexpected turns, backtracking and going in a circle…and still he follows.
Not only that, but there are two of them now, and I don’t even think they are trying to hide it anymore. They are blatantly pursuing me.
Tension floods my body as panic sears my thoughts.What do I do? How do I get away?
They are waiting for you to leave. They’ll make their move in the quieter area of the parking lot outside.
Stay with the crowds, you’ll be safer.
Glancing back and forth, I try to work out where in the mall would be the most populated. The food court. I could sit right in the middle and call Simon to come and get me. He is going to be furious! He’s going to lecture me on being reckless and unsafe and never listening to him.
But I can’t worry about that now. Right now, all I have to do is stay away from those men and make sure I stay where the crowds are.
I walk quickly, but not so fast that it looks unusual. Crowds will keep me safe, but I also have no intention of putting other people in danger because of me.
My heart is pounding a steady, ominous beat, getting faster as my anxiety rises.
But I’m almost at the food court. I’m nearly at my disillusioned safety.
One glance behind me confirms that the men are still following with their eyes locked onto me. One of them has his hand beneath his jacket, clearly resting on a weapon that I can’t see.
