Chapter 18
When Sgt. Briggs arrives at the house, he immediately begins asking a lot of questions about what happened. He asks Emma if she knows what the note is referring to when it states, "I know what you did," but she plays dumb and says no.Good girl. She is definitely learning.
It doesn’t take Briggs long to spot me and I can’t help but notice the surprise on his face. I have to say, I expected his reaction. But he continues to question Emma without missing a beat. He then turns to me and says, "Amanda, anything you want to add?"
Hearing him say my name causes a shiver, but it quickly passes. If he only knew the guilt that I harbor for what I did to him. I notice that he has a wedding band on, which makes me happy. I always hoped that he would find another and it looks like he did. One of these days, maybe he and I can talk over coffee.
Hawk makes it a point to show Briggs exactly who I belong to. He's being extra affectionate. The caveman in him emerges and he's being perfectly clear by his actions that he has definitely staked his claim on me. I’m not sure what to think about his claim. Part of me likes it—hell, who wouldn’t like to belong to a man like Hawk? The other part of me feels smothered and wants to say something to counter his actions. But I don’t.
Sgt. Briggs leaves with a full incident report and says that he'll get his men on it right away. I think he suspects we know more than we told him, but nobody in that room was going to call their prez out for murder.
The next day, I call Jack Briggs and ask him to meet me for lunch. It’s time that we talk and if I don’t do it now, I never will. He agrees to meet me outside of town at a small mom and pop diner called Joe’s.
I get there before him and wait. My nerves are shot and I decide to leave, but he comes walking in just as I’m about to stand up. He approaches the booth that I’m sitting in and says, “Hello, Amanda.”
“Hi, Jack. Why don’t you have a seat?”
He sits down and says, “Imagine my surprise when I walk into Caden’s house and find you there. You were the last person I expected to see.”
“I know, Jack. I’m sorry.”
“How long have you been back in town?”
“A few years.”
“Holy shit, Amanda! And this is the first time we’re talking?”
“I’m a coward, Jack. I’ve always been a coward, but it’s time I come clean about everything. There are so many things that you don’t know, but they’re things you need to know.”
“I’m listening.”
Just then the waitress comes by to take our order and we both order coffee. I look up, hoping that perhaps he’s changed his mind and doesn’t want to listen, but he looks at me eagerly, encouraging me to tell him everything.
I take a deep breath and begin, “I am a recovering drug addict.” He gasps. I was so good at hiding the truth from him, I don’t think he even suspected. “The night I left town, I pawned my engagement ring for a quick fix.” He’s silent, so I add, “I know now that there is no excuse for what I did, but back then, I didn’t care. All I wanted was to get high. That was all I could think about. I was nervous about the wedding and my future. I had spent so much time keeping the drugs from you and I was literally freaking out about how I was going to continue to do that after we were married.”
“I never knew,” he says sadly.
“Please understand, it wasn’t that I didn’t love you. I did. But unfortunately, I loved myself more. I only cared about what I wanted. I didn’t care who I hurt in the process, including you.”
“You broke me, Amanda. It took me a long time to get over you and your disappearance. I tried to find you, but couldn’t. I even think that I joined the force so that I had access to their resources. Everything was a dead end.”
“I went to New York. I covered my tracks. My drug dealer set me up with a fake ID and I lived under a different name for years.”
He looks down at the table. “Are you better now?”
“Yes. After doing some time in rehab, I came back to town. I ran into Ice my first day back and he offered me a job and a place to live. It was the easy answer and so I jumped on it.”
“So the MC is good to you?”
“Yes, they are.”
“I got married last year.” He looks down at his wedding band. “She’s a wonderful woman and I love her deeply. So I guess everything worked out.”
“No, Jack, it didn’t.”
He gives me a curious glance. “What do you mean?”
Now comes the hardest part. But I’ve got him here and I told myself I would tell him everything. If I am ever going to move on, I have to follow through.I take another deep breath and say, “There is one last thing that you need to know.”
