Chapter 30
Things are starting to look up. Ice is coming home. Sainte is leaving. Rebel is healed. Finally, we will get things back to normal and I, for one, am thrilled. The last few weeks have been awful.
Today is the day that Ice comes home. We are planning a big welcome home party and dinner for the entire club here at the house. Everyone has been pitching in getting things ready, even Sainte. Sometimes I look at him and think that maybe I didn't give him enough credit. But then I realize that it's a lot easier to be nice to him and give him the benefit of the doubt knowing that his ass will be gone soon and I won't have to deal with him anymore. Life is good.
I made homemade lasagna the other night in preparation for the party and now I am taking the pans out of the freezer so that we can get them in the oven. Hawk went to pick up Ice and they should be here any minute. I can't wait to see him. The guys have been trickling in and Emma and Ari are keeping them happy with beers and snacks. Sainte walks into the kitchen just as I'm pulling a pan from the freezer.
"Here, let me help you with that," he says as he rushes to take the heavy pan from me. His hand grazes against my own and for a brief minute, I can feel the electricity between us. It's really unnerving how he affects me. Realizing that it’s best not to give any indication of what I just felt because he would never let it go, I step away from him and allow him to place the pan into the oven.
I walk over to the sink, my back to him, and I can feel him approaching. He stands behind me and leans in against my ear. "Tell me you didn't feel that," he whispers, his breath causing featherlike touches against my skin.
I quickly step away and say, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Yeah, darling, keep denying it," he says and then turns to leave. As he walks out of the kitchen, he adds, "It's only gonna make it so much hotter when it does happen. And it's gonna happen."
Oooh, that man infuriates me. What was I saying about him being not so bad? I was so wrong! So very wrong!
The minute Ice walks back into the house, the uneasiness that I have been feeling dissipates. Hawk is back to his old self, and even the rest of the guys seem more at ease. It’s funny how one person can ground so many. It's great having him back, but the best part of Ice being back is that Sainte will be leaving. That thought alone puts me in a fantastic mood.
We all sit down for dinner and it really is just like old times. The guys are talking shit and having fun. Sainte doesn't say much, but I catch him looking at me several times and it makes me nervous. I keep telling myself over and over again that he is leaving and that I only have to deal with his smugness for a little while longer.
"So, Wednesday, we'll be leaving for New York," Hawk says.
"Oh, that's right. The Omerta," Ice replies.
"Something is brewing with our friend in New York. Michael requested backup, so Rebel and Spike are going as well," Hawk says.
Ice nods. "That works."
I'm eagerly waiting to hear what is brewing, but the conversation about New York stops. Then Sainte chimes in, "Ice, I'd like a minute with you after dinner, if you don't mind."
"We can do that. I need to talk to you too," Ice says and he almost sounds cold. Suddenly, I'm excited. Ice must have thought about what I told him and he's gonna rip this asshole a new one.Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that!
When dinner is over, the girls and I clean up and the guys head out to the pool table and game area. When we are done, we leave the kitchen just as Ice and Sainte are coming out of Ice's office. They're laughing.What the fuck? Why are they laughing?
"Hey everyone, got some good news!" Ice yells over all the talking. When everyone quiets down, he says, "We're gaining a new member. Sainte has decided to join the club and I, for one, couldn't be more pleased."
No! No, no no! No fucking way! This was not supposed to happen. Ice was supposed to kick him out. He should be packing his bags!
Hawk walks over to Sainte and pats him on the back. "Welcome, brother. So glad to see that you got smart and decided to hang with the big boys," he says and laughs.They're happy—all of them. Even Emma and Ari. What the fuck!
I watch these people that have been family to me for many years now and I feel like I don't know them anymore. Why would they let this troublemaker into our family? I don't get it. As I look around the room, I'm dumbfounded. Then I make eye contact with Sainte and I realize that he's been staring at me the whole time. I can't take any more, so I leave the party and go to my room. I can't watch this fiasco anymore.
Later, when I am sure that everyone has left, I proceed downstairs. I need something to drink, and even wine isn't gonna cut it. I walk over to the bar and pour myself some bourbon. I've never had bourbon before, but Ice drinks it all the time.How bad can it be?Besides, I need something strong. Pouring my first shot, I down it.Holy shit! I can't fucking breath! My throat is on fire and I feel like I am going to self-combust. How can he drink this stuff?But instead of backing down and not having any more, I pour myself a second one. The burn isn't so bad the second time around. And just like that, my years of sobriety just went down the drain. Well fuck, a girl can only take so much.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" Sainte says behind me.
Doesn't this guy ever sleep?"What do you want, Sainte?" I'm annoyed.
"Well, I thought that was obvious," he replies.
"Well surprise, Mr. Confident, I don't want you!" I spit.
"You know what, Honey? You're blind. You are so dead-set on hating me that you neglect to see how perfect I am for you."
"Ha! Hawk is perfect for me. You don't know what you're talking about."
"I know you better than you know yourself. Hawk is safe. He's honorable, steadfast, and strong. Who wouldn't love him? But he lacks the one thing I can give you."
