“Ice is in with him now. They will only let one person in at a time. Maybe with your pull around here you can change that. We all want to spend some time with him.”
I nod. “Let me see what I can do.” I turn toward Zaira. “Will you be okay for a minute?”
“Sure, you go and fix this for them. It’s so unfair, Michael.”
I head back toward the ICU nurses’ station, but there is nobody at the desk. I spot Ice in the room across from the desk and proceed toward Hawk’s room. I stop when I hear Ice talking.
“Why did you have to step in front of that bullet? I know you thought you were doing the right thing. I know you think your priority is to save a fellow brother, and frankly, I would have done the same thing. But I’m so fucking pissed at you that you did.”
“It’s my time, Caden,” Hawk whispers.
“It’s not your fucking time. What the fuck are we gonna do without you?”
“I’ve watched you grow with this club for years. You’re a born leader. Your father would be so fucking proud of you, just like I am.”
“Don’t you fucking say good-bye! You’re not fucking going anywhere, Hawk. You need to fight.”
“Caden, listen to me, please. You have to accept this. The sooner you do, the easier it will be on the rest of the club and the girls. They will look to you for support and guidance.”
“This is so fucked up. I refuse to accept that this is the way it has to be. I need you, man.”
“I know, but it’s my time.” He takes a labored breath and says, “Now, I need you to do some things for me.”
“Anything,” Ice replies.
“First of all, I need to speak to Honey. Can you have her come in when we’re done? I really wanted things to work out for us, but I couldn’t get past her obsession with you and Sainte.”
“Sainte?”
Oh, fuck. What has Sainte done now?I think to myself.
“You’ll find out soon enough. Believe me, I don’t hold it against either of you. It was all her. She was torn with her feelings from when she was with you and the growing feelings she is having for Sainte. She stuck with me ’cause I was safe. She needs direction, Ice, and I believe Sainte is the man to give it to her.”
“Okay, I get it. I’ll do what I can to help her along. What else?”
“You raise that baby right. You’re gonna have a strong healthy boy, Caden, and he’s gonna have your strength and his mother’s tenacity.”
“How do you know it’s gonna be a boy?” he asks, trying to lighten the moment, I assume.
“I know these things.” He must be adjusting himself on the bed because I hear the sheets rustling, and he lets out a soft groan. I barely hear it over the subtle beeps of the monitors. “Keep moving the club in the direction you are going. The illegal shit has to stop. You’re on the right track. Just don’t get sidetracked.”
“You’ve always known that was my plan, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll stay focused. I promise.”
He takes a deep breath, and I can hear he’s really struggling. “I don’t know how much longer I’ve got. Can you get Honey? Gotta get this shit over with.”
My heart is breaking. I can’t imagine going through this with any of our boys. Ice notices me in the doorway and steps out.
“Hey,” he says.
“I’m really sorry, man.”
“I know. It’s part of the life, but it fucking sucks. We all know it, and we all understand it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow when it happens.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself. “Listen, I’m gonna talk to the nurses and see what I can do to get more of you in to see him. I’ll call Dr. Siegel if I have to and get him to intervene.”
“Thank you. The others sure would appreciate it.” He heads back toward the waiting room just as a nurse comes back to the desk.
“Can I help you, sir?”
