***
Today is our tenth wedding anniversary. Life has been good, with a few struggles along the way. We have had all those typical conversations a couple has during their life together, things like: Do we want kids? Why are we spending so much money? We need to save money. I’m sorry I’m working late, I promise I’ll be home for dinner.
Some end in an argument, and others are resolved peacefully. One thing Jake and I always promised we would do is to never go to bed angry with each other. So even if the conversation ends in an argument, we make up before we go to sleep.
We decided children weren’t in the cards for us—not for lack of trying. I’ve had three miscarriages, and after the last one, the doctor said it would be best for me and my health to not get pregnant. Apparently, I have weird stuff going on in my body that rejects the baby and causes it to miscarry.
The news devastated me, and we had some rough times because of it. I need something to take care of.
I have been asking Jake for a dog, and he finally said yes. The base housing approved it, and he is bringing home my baby boy today. We got him from a rescue. I picked him out two weeks ago, but he hadn’t had all his shots. Jake went to get him, and I decided to stay home and get everything ready. He’s a three-month-old Alaskan malamute, and I have already named him Jaxson. I’ve hit every pet store in town buying him a bed, toys, a fancy new collar, and food. He is going to be so spoiled rotten.
The anticipation of Jaxson’s arrival is killing me. I can’t concentrate. I can’t stop pacing and running to the window to see if the car is in the driveway, repeating the whole thing every five minutes. Finally, I hear the car pull up in the driveway and Jake gets out. I run outside to the passenger-side door and open it. On the floorboard is the most adorable little pup ever. I’ve seen him before, but he wasn’t mine then. Now he is!
I reach in and pick him up. He’s not very little for only being three months, and he is going to be a big dog when he is fully grown. Jake is thrilled because now, when he is gone, I will have protection.
Chapter 7
1998-2008
Jayden
I can’t believe Jake retires from the military soon. He has one more deployment. After it, he retires the following year. We have such great plans for the next chapter in our lives that it can’t get here soon enough, but we have to get through the next year of deployment. This time, he is going to Qatar, a small country on the coast of Saudi Arabia and surrounded by Iraq, Iran, and the Emirates, smack dab in the middle of the Persian Gulf. It’s not the worst place he has been, but for some reason, I’m more on edge than I normally am. Perhaps it’s because it is his last. We’ve been lucky and blessed, and I pray this mission goes as well and he returns home safely. We have plans after all this. I can’t lose him now. But I can’t shake this feeling that when he walks out the door tomorrow, it will be the last time I see him.
“Hey, baby, is my uniform dry yet?” Jake asks, and I am taken from my thoughts. He has several uniforms, and all of them are clean, but this one in particular he calls his “lucky” uniform. He always wears it on deployment departure and return days. He’s funny about quirky things like that. I don’t think the unform is his lucky one, but if he believes it, who am I to burst his bubble?
“Yep, it’s hanging in the laundry room.”
“Thanks, hon.” He runs down the stairs and then runs back up, with no uniform.
“Ah, Jake, did you forget something?”
“Shoot, I got downstairs and forgot what I was going down for. I just turned around, hoping it would help me remember.”
I shake my head with a chuckle. “Your uniform.”
He snaps his fingers. “That’s right, the lucky one,” he says and runs back downstairs. Nope, we’re not getting old. I can’t help but laugh. He runs back up the steps with his lucky uniform and heads for our bedroom. I follow.
“Is there anything you need my help with?”
He stops and takes a breath. “Why don’t you come sit here and talk to me? That is all I need right now.”
I smile and sit on the bed.
“So how do you feel? This is the last one, babe,” he says with a wink.
I refuse to tell him my fears and decide to just give him my good feelings. “Honestly, I can’t believe it. For the last twenty years, we have always talked about the last one, and now, it’s finally here. It seems unreal at times.”
“Oh I assure you, darling, it’s real, and I’m all ready for it to be over.”
I frown because I know it will be a whole year before it’s over.
He kisses my forehead. “Chin up, buttercup.” He’s so corny sometimes. “The next twelve months will fly by, and the day my plane flies home and I come down the steps is the first day of the rest of our lives.” After all these years, Jake’s sureness of things and the fact he has little doubt about anything still surprises me. He’s always been the one so sure of himself, and his confidence is contagious, but today, I am not feeling it. I need to get out of this funk and be more upbeat, but I swear, it will be just an act. I’m scared, and when I get scared to this point, it’s hard to hide it.
Jake finally gets everything he needs packed and brings his bags down. Like always, he sets them by the front door. His flight leaves at 0500 tomorrow, so we need to make it an early night. He turns to face me. “What do you say we go out and have a nice dinner?”
“Shouldn’t you get your rest?” It would be so nice to have a quiet dinner together. It’s something we’ve never been able to do. But Jake has finally got this night-before-deployment thing down. Figures it would take him his entire career and finally breeze through the last one.
“I have thirteen hours to sleep on the plane, babe. I really would like to spend some quality time with you—and I don’t mean you in the kitchen cooking us dinner.”
