I’m on my way home from work, and as I pull into my driveway, I spot Sawyer’s car. I look on the porch, and she is sitting in one of the rockers. It appears she is sleeping. I cut off the engine and quietly get out of the car. As I approach and walk up the steps, she stirs.
“Oh, goodness. You’re home,” she says with a yawn.
“Are you okay?” I ask. We did not have plans tonight, so I wasn’t expecting her. I am praying nothing has happened to the girls. “Where are the girls?”
“They are with my mom.”
I’m still confused because it is unusual for her to be here.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Relief washes over me. “Oh, okay. What’s up?”
She pats the rocking chair next to her. “Sit.” She pulls her rocking chair around so that we are facing each other. “Jake, first of all, I want to say that if I am overstepping, I want you to tell me.”
I give her a confused look.
“But if I don’t say it now, I will never forgive myself.”
This conversation is starting to sound familiar, like one I had with Jayden almost thirty years ago. “Go on…”
“You and I have been friends for quite some time now, and well, I think we have something pretty special. My girls love you, I…” Her words trail off.
“You what?” I know exactly what she was about to say, and I am teasing her. In all honestly, I have been thinking and feeling the same but have been too afraid to say anything.
She looks down to avoid my question. I take my hand and raise her chin so that she is looking directly at me. “Oh crap, Jake, I love you. I mean, I’ve fallen in love with you, and I believe we have something special. I also believe you feel the same. If I am wrong, then tell me. I’ll never mention it again, and we can keep being just friends.” She’s rattling words off faster than I can process, and while she is still talking, I chime in.
“I feel the same.”
She suddenly stops rambling. In almost a whisper, she says, “You do?”
“I do. How can I not? You’re beautiful, an amazing friend, fun to be with, and I love your girls.”
Tears well in her eyes. “We’re absolutely crazy. You know that?”
“Of course we are, but that’s what makes it so fun.”
***
Sawyer and I have been dating for a little over a year now. She is bright, funny, silly at times, and kind, and she loves me with her whole heart. Dr. Chandler was right; it is not the same love I shared with Jayden. And I do love her. It’s funny because now that I have spent time with her and her girls, I can’t imagine my life any different. Six years ago, I would have never believed it, but it’s true. The heart does heal, and I can love again.
I’ve asked her to marry me, and she said yes. We have not set a date yet, but we are planning for some time in the spring. She sent a letter to Jeff, asking him to release all rights he has as a father to the girls. He agreed and signed. Now Sawyer will never have to worry about that asshole again.
Once Sawyer and I are married, we are going to start the process for me to legally adopt the girls. They are amazing kids. They are so smart and so well-mannered. They have even started calling me Dad. We told them about the adoption, and they cheered. I still have trouble telling them apart, but they politely correct me when I mess up.
Mom is thrilled. She loves Sawyer, and they get along great. I have not talked with Harold yet. I’m so afraid to tell him, though I believe my mom has already. It doesn’t make me happy that she did—it really should come from me—but the two of them are inseparable. It’s guaranteed she spilled, but he has not said a word to me about it. We have spent time with him and Mom, and he knows Sawyer and I are seeing one another, but the marriage, it has to come from me.
He invited me to have lunch with him, said he had something important to talk to me about.
“Thanks for having lunch with me today.”
“Of course, Harold. You know I’ve always enjoyed spending time with you.”
“Jayden was an amazing daughter. She always brought her mom and me great joy, but you know, she brought us something else.”
“Oh?” I say and take a sip of my Coke.
“She brought me you. Jake, you are the son Viv and I never had, and even after Jayden’s death, you were always there for me. I want you to know I love you as if you were my own son.”
