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We had an entire conversation in that second. Dane wasn’t wearing a condom. I didn’t even know if he had any, and neither of us moved to go find one. We hadn’t used condoms eleven years ago once I’d gone on the pill, though I’d used condoms with every guy afterward. The experience with the pregnancy had left me too burned.
Now we spoke without words as he moved his hips again, rubbing the head of his cock against me. In his expression I could see that he wanted me, he trusted me, but he was making sure. I could see his certainty. He knew what I was asking, and I didn’t have to speak.
“Is this what you want?” he asked me softly.
I leaned up and kissed him, sliding my tongue along his lip, feeling the tremble in his entire body as I did it. “You know what I want,” I said.
Dane moaned, moved his hips again, and pushed into me.
I had never felt anything so good. I gripped him hard and Dane moved, his muscles bunching under my hands, his biceps flexing, his head dipping. I moved with him, taking him deeper as I got accustomed to his new body, as I ran my hands over the muscles that had never been there before. We’d tried to slow down eleven years ago, but the fact was, we’d usually gone fast and hard, unable to get enough of each other once we started. I felt that same frantic instinct again, in him and in me, but now both of us fought it. Dane paced himself and I dug my nails in, holding on, feeling it build.
And it built. High and fast. Sweat beaded on Dane’s neck and I gasped against his skin, holding on. My body went haywire, every nerve raw, every inch of my skin alive with pleasure. I angled my hips and he rubbed me the right way, just like that, and he took no mercy on me.
I came first, falling apart around him, squeezing him. Then it was his turn, and I felt all of the familiar signals—the way his breath came short, the way his muscles locked and his hips slowed. I knew exactly what Dane did when he came, and nothing had changed. I felt him deep inside me, and then we both slowly relaxed, Dane moving his weight off me to rest on one side.
He put his arm around me, heavy and warm, and I closed my eyes and took a breath. Everything washed through me: pain, humiliation, want, unbearable happiness. And last of all, hope. It inflated my chest and made my blood sing. I didn’t want to feel it, and yet I still did.
“Dane,” I said.
His voice was a low rumble beside me, deep and satisfied. “I know.”
“I know you know, but I have to say it.”
“I know.”
“We understand each other, but I have to say it. I have to put it out there. I can’t just let it go unsaid.”
Dane was quiet, waiting.
I opened my eyes and took a breath. “I’m not on the pill,” I said.
He moved, rising onto one elbow and looking down into my face. He didn’t look afraid at all. Then again, Dane Scotland had never been afraid of anything, including this.
“I know,” he said, and kissed me.
Eighteen
Dane
* * *
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I walked out of the bathroom and through my penthouse toward the kitchen, where I caught the smell of coffee.
“Do I dare drink any of this?” I asked.
“Very funny,” Ava said from the sofa. “My coffee skills have improved, thank you very much.”
I grabbed a mug, pausing to look at her. She was relaxed on the sofa cushions, wearing an X-Men T-shirt of mine. Her blonde hair was down and tousled and she wore no makeup. She was staring at her phone, and one bare, perfect leg was propped on the sofa back, her ankle turned and elegant, her toes pink. This was how I’d kept her—tousled, freshly orgasmed, and nearly naked—for the past three days.
Three freaking days. We’d spent the first day in her hotel room, and when I’d needed to come back here to get some clothes and a toothbrush, she’d come with me. Before I could pack a bag we’d ended up on the kitchen counter, Ava’s skirt pushed up and me between her sexy legs.
We hadn’t bothered leaving after that. I’d had the concierge send up food and some essential supplies, and we hadn’t left the penthouse. Actually, we’d barely left the bed, except to do it in the shower. Twice.
It wasn’t nearly enough. I’d never get enough of Ava—I had years to make up for. And judging by the way she went soft and hot every time I touched her, she hadn’t had enough of me. But it was the last day of her assignment, and Kaito Okada was scheduled to arrive in town in four hours. According to the schedule I’d received from one of his underlings, our first meeting was to happen at seven o’clock tonight in the lobby bar of the Four Seasons, where Okada had booked the entire top floor. I had suits. I had shirts and ties. I even had shoes and underwear. I had manners and I knew how to eat sushi. I was ready.
So what would happen next?
I didn’t fucking know. I tried not to think about it, and three days buried deep in Ava Winters was helping me forget that we weren’t really a thing. That she lived in New York and had her own life. That she’d given no hint she wanted me for an
