Chapter 1
…she was eagerly succeeded at the instrument by her sister Mary, who having, in consequence of being the only plain one in the family, worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments, was always impatient for display…Mary had neither genius nor taste; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached. Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice (p. 15).
November 1, 1812
Mary watched with a tiny twinge of resentful jealousy as her oldest two sisters were married to two very wealthy men. She didn’t understand why Elizabeth and Jane were always treated so kindly by the world and everyone in it.
Neither of them had done anything to deserve their good fortune. They had not studied or learned anything other than what was absolutely necessary. In fact, Elizabeth often indirectly boasted about how little she practiced the piano while simultaneously enjoying the praise and gratitude she received for playing the simple songs she could manage.
Jane was even worse. She had no accomplishments at all. She couldn’t sing or play an instrument. She couldn’t draw or paint. She couldn’t even speak a foreign language. She hadnothing to recommend her except her good looks and perhaps her gentle disposition, and she was born with those.
Despite all this, Jane was the favorite in the family and the neighborhood as a whole, while Mary, who had devoted her life to learning everything she possibly could, was shoved aside and ignored unless she was adamant in displaying the results of her hard work in every way she could.
Mary was not jealous of the men her sisters married. Mr. Bingley was too cheerful for Mary to be truly comfortable around. His overly optimistic view of life was almost oppressive to her. Mr. Darcy was quite the opposite. With his severe demeanor and clear pride, he hardly ever spoke to anyone other than Jane or Elizabeth.
Philosophically, she could see why Jane might love Mr. Bingley very much, though Mary held no admiration for him in the least. His sunny disposition matched Jane’s own forgiving and happy nature.
As for Mr. Darcy, Mary was certain Elizabeth must be marrying him for his money, despite her many protestations against that idea. It was simply not possible that Elizabeth could love a man who was not capable of being pleasant toward anyone. Mary could not condemn Elizabeth for being selfish in such a way, but she couldn’t condone the way Elizabeth tried to hide her motivations.
In short, Mary was jealous of the love Jane and Elizabeth received rather than who they were marrying, for it was clear that their husbands loved them. Even Mary, who could not always understand other people’s emotions or how and why they affected their behavior, could see their adoration.
Well, good for them. They would continue to live their lives the way they had always done. They would be adored forqualities they had no control over and would be the center of attention for the rest of their lives. They would be pampered and spoiled by their rich husbands, and they would be deliriously happy because of it.
Mary worked hard to keep a grimace off her face.
She knew that such would never be her own fate. She would be lucky if her hard work and study managed to garner the mild admiration of her neighbors. She would never be loved in any way: not by her parents, not by her siblings, not by her neighbors, and certainly not by any gentleman.
Mary pulled her trail of thinking to a halt, for she did not wish to ruin a beautiful wedding with her tears of self-pity and jealousy which were even now stinging her eyes and begging to be set free.
She closed her eyes and sent her imagination to the place she was happiest.
There was quite a large, wooded area between the farmlands of Longbourn and Netherfield. It was nearly three quarters of a mile wide and a mile long. It was jointly owned by her father and Netherfield’s owner, Mr. Simpson, and the two men split the cost of a woodsman to manage the area and ensure that no dangerous wildlife attempted to settle there.
Her father and Mr. Simpson made the cost back by selling the mushrooms that could be foraged there and charging the local gentlemen who did not own their own hunting grounds a fee to hunt there in the autumn.
She had heard her father say that it was his least profitable use of his land, but he inexplicably would not give it up. Since the stream that ran through the middle occasionally overflowed its banks, Mary could understand that the area might be unpredictable and unsuited to farming. However, it was heropinion that it could still be used as pasture. She had even told him so once or twice years ago, but her father said that it would be too much bother to clear out the trees simply to let some cows or sheep graze there.
As time passed, Mary gradually grew quite pleased that he had never cleared it out.
Over the last three years, ever since she came out, that forest had become Mary’s refuge. While she wandered its paths, she was no longer concerned with forcing herself to study subjects she did not understand and had no interest in. She was no longer concerned with trying to make herself as pretty as she could despite her efforts yielding no reward. She was not the ugliest, most boring, and least recognized of the Bennet sisters.
When she was among the trees, she was not Mary Bennet.
She could do what she liked without regard to whether it brought her attention or acclaim.
Mary managed to get through the rest of the ceremony without any further threat of tears by reliving various joyful times spent among the trees. When it was all over, it was time to head back to Longbourn to enjoy the wedding breakfast.
For this, Mama had prepared the most extravagant meal of her life. Since her new sons were far wealthier than the Bennets, she felt as though she could do no less. Even so, Mary had heard her wondering if it would be enough.
Mary thought that neither of the grooms cared over much about the fineness of the decorations or the rarity of the food. They simply wished to be married and gone. She knew that much about men, though she did not know anything about what would happen to the newly married couples following their departure. She did not need to know. She would never need to know.
Once the breakfast was underway, Mary mingled among the guests as best she could. She was polite, and her neighbors were polite, but no one was particularly friendly to her. There was no one who sought her company and no one whose company she particularly sought.
After an hour of eating and socializing, the moment that Mary had been looking forward to most finally arrived.
When Mama was originally preparing for the breakfast, Mary had realized that she could contribute as well, not by helping with planning or decoration, since those were tasks she was not well suited to, but by providing entertainment in the form of music for the guests.
When she suggested her idea to her sisters, Jane readily accepted her offer, but Elizabeth hesitated, saying she didn’t think it truly necessary. She further explained that with so many guests, they would be in multiple rooms, so it was likely that not everyone would hear her.
