As Mary walked toward Meryton, she tried not to think too hard about anything. She simply breathed in the fresh air and took in the nature all around her, tired, brown, and sleepy as it was.
Upon reaching the market town, her first stop was the only general store. She did not usually come here. Rather, the few times she did go shopping, it was either to the drapers, the haberdashery, or the bookshop.
Upon entering, she did not stop to look around. She went straight up the proprietor, Mr. Higgs.
“I am looking for something specific, though I do not know how to go about finding it. I was wondering if you knew how I could go about purchasing a bow and some practice arrows to go with it.”
Mr. Higgs’ eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. “I did not know your father allowed you young ladies to practice such a sport,” he said.
Mary wanted to say, “My father cares little what I do as long as I stay out of his library,” but she did not. Instead, she said, “Iam certain it will be acceptable to him as long as I practice well away from the house.”
“Then perhaps it would be better for your father to acquire your equipment,” said Mr. Higgs.
“He is absorbed in his books and his study. I am simply doing him a favor by acquiring my own supplies,” said Mary.
Mr. Higgs sighed. “It is rather irregular, Miss Bennet, but it is as you say. I suspect Mr. Bennet would not wish to come all this way for such a simple errand. If you are certain this is what you wish, I can order the supplies for you. It will take about a week, but I can get you a bow, arrows, and the necessary paraphernalia to carry and store them.”
“Thank you, Mr. Higgs. I am much obliged,” said Mary. “Please do not send them to Longbourn. I will return in a weeks’ time to pick them up myself.”
He gave her a rather suspicious look but said nothing. Instead, he named a price, and Mary paid it out of her own money. As she had told her mother, she would only spend Mama’s money on her clothing and appearance.
Mary left the store absolutely elated. She had always wished to learn archery ever since she had read the tales of Robin Hood. It was one of the few sports that was acceptable to be enjoyed by both gentlemen and ladies, though it was less popular now than it had been in the previous century. Considering that Mary’s favorite place to be was the woods, she couldn’t imagine a better new hobby than finally learning how to shoot a bow.
Her next stop was the milliner’s. There she purchased a new bonnet and some trimmings for it. She also purchased a new pair of brown leather gloves which would be perfect for keeping her hands warm and protected during archery practice.
Additionally, she acquired two other pairs of more decorative gloves and several other little bits and bobs. She requested that it all be delivered to Longbourn. Then she paid for them with Mama’s money, which she had kept in a separate coin purse.
Her last stop was the bookshop. For once, she was not there to purchase some weighty tome of philosophy or history. This time she had a very different topic in mind.
“Mrs. Hampton, it is good to see you this morning,” said Mary upon entering.
“Ah, Miss Bennet. What can I help you find, today?”
“I am looking for a book on botany and another on gardening. Do you have anything like that in your inventory?”
“There isn’t much call for books on gardening, Miss,” said Mrs. Hampton, “at least not in these parts. Everyone around here learns what they need to know from their parents or siblings. However, it wouldn’t be difficult to order something for you. As for botany, I have a book that discusses medicinal herbs, but not much else on the subject.”
“I will take the medicinal herbs book,” said Mary. “And could you please order a book that contains information on how to grow produce in a greenhouse?”
“Of course, Miss Bennet,” said the lady. “Would you like me to have both books delivered when the new one arrives?”
“No, I will take the one you have here with me,” said Mary. “As for the one you will order, I will return in a week to retrieve it myself, if that is acceptable.”
“Of course,” said Mrs. Hampton. Unlike Mr. Higgs, she was not surprised in the least that Mary would not want it delivered. At least she showed no such emotion on her face.
Mary walked home with a significantly lighter purse and an even lighter heart. She had paved the way for new hobbies, and she had made purchases that would spruce up her appearance a bit. She knew the bonnet, ribbons, and gloves would make little real difference in how pretty she seemed, but it would make a great deal of difference to her neglected heart to be shown some care even if it was only herself that was showing it.
For the next week, Mary spent a good portion of her time sewing in the parlor. She also made two additional shopping trips into Meryton, one of which was to order a new evening gown in a color that was not white. The other trip was simply to browse around and purchase something that pleased her. She came away with a little glass sheep and a sweet roll from the bakery.
Another thing she did during the week she was waiting for her bow and her book on gardening was that she took the opportunity almost every day to walk in the woods.
She didn’t just walk, however. Once within the embrace of the trees, out of sight of everyone, she began to sing. As the feeling of the music moved through her, she swayed with it or moved her head in rhythm. With faster, more powerful, songs she would sometimes twirl or leap about. In short, she did what she had never truly allowed herself to do before. She allowed the music to move through her, and she moved with the music.
Mary knew that moving like this was absolutely frowned upon. Dancing was intended to be controlled and graceful. Performing on the piano was meant to be accurate, which could not be done when one danced in their seat as they played. The way she moved while dancing in the forest was wild and free, something that was entirely unacceptable in her society.
This was the true reason Mary was so controlled, so pedantic, when she played the piano or sang for company. Shefelt the music too much to be able to express it in any acceptable manner. The only way she had ever been able to garner any praise whatsoever was by completely suppressing all emotion and playing the piano as if she was adding up a column of numbers.
As she spent time each day letting go of all restraint and allowing herself to behave the way she truly wished to behave, Mary felt a growing sense of peace within her. Her heart was being fed the affection and attention it wanted. Her feelings flowed as they wished.
