I didn’t know how I’d gotten there, but I found myself in my direct messages, staring at the last message Leader had sent me.
Number_1: I’m putting you on my visitors list. Visitation is Friday from 7-11. This ain’t a request, Pretty Mama.
Before my emotions got the best of me, I locked my screen and placed the phone on the nightstand next to the baby caddy. Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the sofa as I took in everything around me. I was alive. I’d made it to celebrate another birthday. I’d fumbled some things but had gained major with my daughter being the perfect angel she was. I didn’t understand what the Big Man upstairs was trying to show me, but I could see that I was under a major test.
My stomach clenched. I swallowed a lump of saliva as I stared at the backs of my eyelids. I hated this feeling. I was beginning to think that everything connected to my first love was just bad luck. I fell for him at school and gave him my virginity, only to find out he was still having sex with his baby mama, or at least according to her he was. Plus, his brother got my bestfriend, so we had to go across state lines to an abortion clinic. I can still see the blood-stained pads gathered in her underwear for days.
That’s one.
I went through the worst heartbreak of my life when I should’ve been having the best time of my life as a freshman in college. He ended up being sentenced to ten years in prison. I somehow ended up pregnant and nearly died giving birth to the baby I didn’t even know was in my womb.
That’s two.
I did as he asked and went to visit him in prison, and not only did I give him my body before I’d healed, but I also nearly lost my life in a head-on collision.
That’s three. Three strikes, Glee. You know what you have to do.
As deeply as I cared for Leader, I had to let him go. At this point, I didn’t know if it was even a good idea to alert him or his family about the baby. As soon as I activated the new phone from Glow, I blocked his mom and siblings’ numbers again. I knew he’d asked me to unblock her and keep in touch, but his world was too much for me. I’d tell him he was a father to a beautiful little girl one day, but right now, I wanted to savor the fact that I was alive. I also needed to cleanse myself of all things Leader again. I felt I was completely over him until I looked into my baby girl’s face. Then, I was sucked back into his world, driving toward my own demise when I should’ve been handling my business to continue my education. I wasn’t built for his world. I could now see why he had a baby mother who was older than him. Leader was too grown up for a girl one year out of high school.
Boom!
“Now I know my best bitch is not asleep on her birthday!”
My eyes flew open before I tried hopping up from the chair, but I was quickly reminded that I couldn’t.
“Blayyyykie?”
With a birthday bag held to her side, my gorgeous bestie waltzed into the room. I angled my body so I could face her, or as much as I could with my restrictions.
“Frienddddd! Happy birthday to thebaddest bitchthis world haseverseen!” She grinned, easing down beside me.
I blinked, making sure these weren’t side effects of the medicine, but it couldn’t have been because I hadn’t taken any yet. Her skin was flawless as always, but her inflamed, red-rimmed eyes had me on alert. She also looked like she’d lost a little weight. Blayke was always thick in the hips, but she looked slimmer than she did weeks ago.
“Blayke…” I could hear the concern in my voice just as she had.
She shook her head as to dismiss my worry. “I’m here to stay, Calista. I already talked to your sister, and she doesn't mind, as long as you are good with having me as a roommate again.”
I tucked her hair behind her ear. She was wearing her real hair, parted down the middle, and it fell just below her shoulders. I knew her mom had taken her to the beautician, who was one of the ushers at the church. Her parents only liked it when Blayke wore her real hair, but Blayke hated it because her hair was on the thin side. I loved whatever Blayke loved. To me, she was beautiful in any hairstyle, and I loved her natural hair.
“Are you crazy? Of course, you can stay! I was barely hanging on without you these few weeks.” We giggled before I reached for her hand. “What happened?”
She kissed her teeth loudly. “Somebody at the church told them we were at the hospital. That’s how they found out. Them people took my phone and damn near did an exorcism on me.” She rolled her eyes.
“Oh, bestie. I feel so bad.”
“Girl, please! For what? If anything, you got pregnant because of me. I was pregnant first. I brought them niggas around. I’m sorry for not being here, bestie. You know my parents are fucking insane.” She poked her lip out, not bothering to stop her tears.
“It’s okay… None of this is your fault.”
“It is! Because if I were with you, we’d be bent over a table, twerking at brunch right now instead of crying like punk bitches while you banged up.” She cried, chest heaving and all.
“Oh no, Blayke. If you were with me, we would’ve both gotten into the wreck, I’m sure.”
“Well… We would be two cripple hoes together. I don’t like this bestiiiieeeeeeeee.” Her head fell into my chest.
“It’s okay… I’m okay. See?”
She shook her head no and then popped up, wiping her face with her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m such a selfish bitch! This isn’t about me, and damn, I forgot you’re sore, and I’m throwing myself all over you.”
