“No. I hate the nigga because…” She paused as if she were searching for the right words while still cradling Baby Leader. “I hate him because I feel like he only paid me dust because I was a virgin. I was only something new to him. A new girl in the city, hot in the ass and ready to rebel against her parents in any way she could. He sniffed that shit out like a bloodhound.”
My stomach churned at her words. “You think he used you?”
“He spoiled me. So I wouldn’t necessarily say he used me, but I liked him more than he liked me. He had so many opportunities to tell me that it was just fun for him. Just sex. But he didn’t. He made me believe that he loved me. He made me believe I was the only one. I think Emperor liked living the double life. His college girl put away on campus, spreading her legs for him on demand, while the women he really liked were out in the streets. I was just something to do. Something to scratch off the list. Niggas love what they think other niggas haven’t had. Once he got his fill, I was disposable. I just beat him to the punch by cutting him off before he was ready to dispose of me.”
I could feel my skin heat. My mind raced, and I guess it was evident on my face because Blayke was now standing in front of me.
“You and Leader are different, Calista. Don’t be in that pretty head of yours thinking Leader did you like how Emperor did me. Although Leader is on my ‘fuck you’ list strictly because he is related to Emp, Leader loves you, friend. I saw that shit with my own eyes. He probably loved you the first night when he walked in with all that damn seafood.” She chuckled as I fought the smile trying to creep onto my face.
“He’s not good for me, Blayke. We’re so different. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love him too. I have to find a way to unlove him, though, friend. What will loving him do for me? For us?” My eyes flashed to my baby girl.
Blayke took a seat on the arm of the La-Z-Boy. Her familiar fragrance mixed with Baby Leader’s newborn smell stirred a hum in my chest.
“You can love him, friend. Look what y’all’s love created. This baby is the most beautiful little girl I’ve ever seen. I know how you are, friend. Everything has to make sense in your world. Everything has to align. Everything has to be done the right way. But sometimes, that’s not how life works. You’re perfect, Glee. You made a perfect daughter from an imperfect love. Love on that black man. It's probably the only thing that’s keeping him going.”
“I just… I don’t know. I have to tell him about her, and I really don’t want to. I have to tell his family too.”
“You don’t have to tell his family shit. He can tell them. But…”
“But what?”
“He didn’t figure it out when you went to visit him? He didn’t notice that you looked different?”
“I—Wait! How do you know I went to visit him?”
“Girl! Because I know you!” Blayke rolled her eyes as if I’d asked a silly question. “When I did finally escape my parents, I called Mama Cathy, and she gave me the whole rundown, including the location they found your car. I know where that man is locked up from Facebook. Plus, I know you, Glee. There is no way you would have left the baby to go to some financial aid office! You can do that shit over the phone. You went to see that nigga.”
“I can’t stand you.”
“You love me.”
“I do.”
She smirked. “You love him too.”
“I do…”
“As you should, bestie. Leader a real nigga, unlike his bitch-ass brother.”
We locked eyes before bursting out in laughter. Baby Leader began to stir before a soft whine could be heard.
“Shhhh. Okay, okay. TeeTee sorry. Come on.” She kissed the baby’s head and rubbed her back. “But for real, everything is going to work out. I don’t know how, but I know it will.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so! Now, let me enjoy my baby, and then I’ma help you get cute so we can meet these hoes you tried to replace me with.”
“Oh, God. Blayke, please.”
“This baby is so,so, so, so pretty!” Mahzeyah grinned in Baby Leader’s face.
“Yeap. That’s how our baby gonna look. Hold her head.” Italian instructed as he stood over Mahzeyah.
She leaned away from him. “Eww, never. Get out our face.”
“Y’all gonna fight over the baby all day?” Bella asked while she typed on her phone.
“I’m not fighting. He just all in our mix. We chilling… Ain’t that right, pretty babyyy?”I giggled at Mahzeyah and Italian’s tense relationship. We’d been next door for a few hours, and they’d gone at it almost the entire time. I was nervous about coming over, but I was glad that I did. Blayke had styled my hair in a high ponytail and helped me get dressed. There wasn’t much I could wear with a broken leg besides shorts and an oversized shirt to avoid aggravating my ribs, and luckily, my sister had bought just that among my gifts. I was dressed in blue Alo shorts and a matching sweatshirt. The makeup on my face hid my bruises and made me feel more normal, especially among people who were essentially strangers. Although this was my first time meeting Italian and the other girls in person, it felt like I’d known them forever.
