“Notthatold. He was early twenty-ish.”
“Oh, that ain’t too bad. These niggas y’all lusting over are damn near thirty. Early twenties is still young. He was probably childish as hell,” Bella said with a shrug.
Blayke shrugged too. “He wasn’t childish, just was an ain’t shit nigga. I think early twenties, it depends on the type of life a man lives. You can be a childish twenties, or you can be a mature-ass twenties that lives life like you’re thirty. The nigga Iwas fuckin’ with was somewhere in between the two. But fuck him and may he rest in hell!”
Glee rubbed her forehead and groaned at her friend’s protest.
“Wait? He died?” I asked, heart thudding, waiting for her response.
“Yep! Walking ‘round here looking like the living dead since I left his ass alone.”
“Blayke!” Glee gasped.
“Fuck him! The nigga dead to me.”
Bella cackled. “Helllll nawl! You stupid, Blayke.”
“You know how you be so in love, and then boom! You wake up from that dick coma?” Blayke asked, and Glee groaned again, throwing her head back on the sectional.
“Yes, indeed,” Bella responded.
“Kinda sorta. I think Flexer’s the first boy I liked-liked. My first? I was just doing something.” Mahzeyah chuckled.
My first time was with a boy, I was very much “in like” until he told the whole school and embarrassed the fuck out of me. I still laugh at the day Neltz got on his ass. My nephew always rode for his TeeTee. But I didn’t respond to Blayke’s question, and neither did Glee.
“Well, that was my first. He was everything until he wasn’t anything. It was fun when I was in the moment, but the aftermath? The aftermath… I wouldn’t wish that shit on my worst enemy. Now, I’m just thugging. I’m thugging and figuring my life out. I don’t have time for a nigga unless he willing to finance mywholelife. But I know I’ll have to be careful with those type of men, too, because I can fall in love, and then boom! I’ma dumb ass all over again. I can’t have that—ever.”
We all let the silence linger after Blayke’s spiel. I was lost in my thoughts, and I figured the others were too. R&B songs played on the TV, with Keyshia Cole currently screaming at us about love. Love was a strange thing to me. I had neverunderstood that heartbreak felt exactly what it was called until I went through it. There were still days I couldn’t eat, still days I couldn’t sleep. It had been six months since that night—the night that changed everything. It was almost hard to look at my sister’s engagement ring because it brought me back to that day. I could still feel my own screams in my throat—the guttural cries scratching my vocal cords, almost cracking them and leaving me hoarse for days. The broken glass. The gunshots. The blood—so much damn blood—as the look of life slipped from a person’s eyes. And not just any person, but the one you thought was everything, only to find out they weren’t anything at all, as Blayke said.
“Pearla!”
Blinking, I’d noticed Italian had come back up the stairs, and behind him were Gal and the others.
“Hunh?” I asked Italian, who was looking at me as if he was awaiting an answer.
“I said, ‘If y’all mind if my nigga, Ro, come over?’ He’s from the block…. And my dawg, P, walking over too.”
“Walking?” Bella asked.
“Yeah, his grandpa, Mr. Joe, live ‘cross the street. Jisei knows Mr. Joe… He’s a cool dude. I’ve been rockin’ with his grandson for a lil’ minute. Matta fact, y’all already seen them both, at the party for Glee.” Italian rubbed his head. “Shit, I gotta stop smoking.”
The house had been the hangout spot for weeks, but Solana was still going through something extremely vulnerable downstairs. Italian had been careful about whom he brought around, so if these P and Ro characters were cool people, I didn’t mind. I couldn’t remember too much about who he had at Glee’s party, though, because my mind was elsewhere.
I shrugged. “If everybody else is cool with it, I am too.”
“Aite, cool.”
The doorbell rang, as if they knew we’d just finished discussing them, and both Italian and Gal went to answer. Mahzeyah bumped shoulders with me, and I gave her my attention. We’d both been wearing the same perfume today, which was totally a coincidence. That happened a lot between her, Bella, and me. If it wasn’t perfume, it was clothes, shoes, or bags. We spent way too much time together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I know you are cool with it…” She snickered.
“Mahzeyah… I don’t know what you talking about.”
Everyone had fallen into side conversations, so they weren’t paying us any mind. Crossing my arms, I watched as Mahzeyah’s smile grew big as hell, like she knew something I didn’t.
“I saw the way that P dude was looking at you the last time he was here. He’s fine as hell.”
“Oh, girl! That’s what you’re talking about…” I waved her off. “I didn’t notice.”
