He jutted his chin at Bella and frowned at P before pointing to Shus. “I’m gone beat yo’ son ass when he wakes up.”
Shus chortled. “Good. I’ll be right behind you to get my licks in.”
Matteo then turned back to me. Sticking his hand in his pocket, he removed a wad of cash and stuffed it in my jacket pocket. He then pulled me into a hug, hooking his arm around my neck.
“Pearla, I’ll kill these hoes behind my blood. Answer the fuckin’ phone when I call, even if it’s just to say, ‘Leave me alone, bitch-ass nigga.’”
Laughing into his chest, I felt my emotions well up but held them in. If I started crying, he’d take me with him. “I’m sorry, brother. We were having fun at Jisei’s.”
“You ain’t sorry for shit. And stop drinking’… You ain’t grown.” Matteo stepped back. “Aye, lil’ nigga. Get my sister back to the spot safely. Matter fact, do twenty miles an hour, that’s royalty right there.”
P stroked his chin. “Heard you.”
Matteo narrowed his eyes. “You gonefeel meif another hair is outta place. You was supposed to spray this hospital as soon as a bitch ran up on mine. Strike one.” Matteo held up his index finger as he backed out of the hospital.
Bella was covering her mouth as she laughed while I shook my head. Dating anybody was going to be a hassle that I had already accepted.
“Come on up…” Shus pulled me into her side, her, too, checking my face.
“Next time, I got that Kaylee hoe. You beat her ass, but I owe that bitch too,” Bella vented as she mashed the button to the elevator. We all piled on and took it to the private wing.
Once the doors opened, my heart fell to the soles of my ass. The cold air stung the cuts on my face, and as soon as I got home, I planned to clean my face with peroxide.
“You go ’head and go in. We gone stay out here.” Shus ushered P and Bella to the waiting area.
P didn’t object. I knew we were beyond the bet now and that he had questions that I would answer to the best of my abilities without incriminating my people, Grind, and myself.
I waved to the guards at the door, and both of them eyed my face before opening the heavy door that kept Grind safe. Therewas a chair and a game system at the foot of the bed, and I already knew it had belonged to Neltz. I’d called him once and had heard the machines in the background. I didn’t mind my nephew visiting Grind, I just wasn’t going to.
It had been six months. Six months since I’d been the happiest I’d ever been. Six months since my sister got her fairytale ending. Six months since my tires had prompted Grind to pull over to the service station. Six months since he told me to climb over into the driver’s side and to drive off if something went down. Six months since I heard the deafening pop of the first shot. Six months since I didn’t pull off like I was told. Six months since I caught my first body. Six months since I held Grind as he struggled to stay amongst the land of the living.
The tears rushed from my face as I stood over his bed. Tubes and cords ran out of him in all different directions. There was a joystick resting underneath his hand. I watched as the machine pumped oxygen into his chest. His nails were cleaned, his skin still had his brown color, and instead of the hospital gown, he was in a Ralph Lauren pajama set with the chest exposed. He didn’t have bandages on his chest but the bullets left scars.
“Niggas like me make money so Pretty girls like you can do all the things pretty girls do.
“Pretty girls, pretty girls, pretty girls! Fuck you, Grayson! Fuck you!” My chest heaved.
“Fuck you!” I punched his chest, not caring if I was fucking something up.
“You don’t deserve my mercy!” I punched him again.
“You don’t deserve my fuckin’ protection! You don’t deserve my body, and you damn sure didn’t deserve my heart!” I punched him again.
“I… You hurt me! You fucking hurt meeeeeee! You hurt me so bad! Why? Why meeee?”
I hiccupped.
“I… I didn’t want to live anymore. I wanted to die! I wanted to fucking die! Do you hear me, Grind! I wanted to die! I have people who love me. I have people that care about me, and I wanted to fucking die!”
I punched him again before collapsing onto his chest. With my face against his bare skin and the smell of Dial soap creeping into my nostrils, I cried. I cried hard. I cried for the hurt. I cried for the pain. I cried for the time lost. I cried for Rein. I cried for the unfortunate situation Grind had put Kaylee and me in.
“You’re so wrong, Grind. You’re so wrong. Your… your wife,” I spoke into his chest. “Your wife says you’re gone. I saw the look on your mom’s face. I think she believes it too. Still, no matter how much you hurt me, I… I c-caaan’t. I can’t let them pull the plug. You have so much potential. You have so much left to do. I can’t let you die.”
Rolling my head on his chest, I bawled.
“I’m so stupid. I know I’m stupid. I should hate you. I should hate you, Grind, but I can’t. I’m hurt, but I still love you… I love you so, so, so, so, so fucking much.”
I wiped my face, hoping the tears were done.
