Pearla swallowed and let the silence settle between us. I was trying my hardest not to think about Shio today. I hadn’t texted him. I hadn’t read the journal either. I had been feeling much better these days, and I wanted to stay that way.
“You are good enough, Solana.”
Pearla turned her head to face me, her eyes glowing with tears, prompting mine to do the same. I reached my hand through the slot, and she clasped it in hers.
I smiled at her. She was so pretty and kind. I believed Pearla deserved all that was good in this country—in this world.
“You’re good enough, Pearla. I will say, I think there is much more to the story with Grind and Kaylee. I have learned that sometimes, desperate times calls for desperate measures. People make decisions that you would never have thought they ever would when their backs are against the roof.”
Pearla giggled. “You mean, the wall, Solana. When their backs are against the wall.”
I giggled too. “Si. Against the wall.”
I blinked away the tears and welcomed the laugh. It didn’t hurt as much to laugh now. I thought about the deals my father signed with the devil countless times for money or power. Our entire family was either dead or incarcerated because he chose himself out of desperation over and over again.
Pearla gasped as if she had a revelation. “Oh, Lord. You’re team Grind, hunh?”
I squeezed her hand, placed it to my lips, and then my face. “I’m team you. You’re good enough, Pearla. You actually more than good enough.”
“I don’t know if you want kids or not, but you’re going to make a great mom.”
“Maybe…”
“You have to come to my graduation, Solana.”
“Of course.” I didn’t know where life would take me by the time she graduated, but I’d make sure I was there.
“And prom! Oooo! I want you to help me pick out a dress and everything.”
“Oh, I can see you in a pretty lavender.”
Pearla snatched her hand back, her eyes wide with shock. “O.M.G. How did you know that was my favorite color?”
Her mouth was open wide, not thinking about the bands around her bracelets being lavender. She also wore lavender-studded earrings. The color looked good against her brown skin.
“Lucky guess.” I shrugged with a smirk.
“I know you don’t like being in here, but I’m glad you’re here. I haven’t been… myself. But around you, I feel… lighter.Carefree.Almost like my old self before everything happened. I just want to be happy again, but I don’t know what happy looks like now.”
“Happy is whatever feels good to you, Pearla. It doesn’t have to be your previous happy. It can be a new happy.”
“I know you care for Shio, just like I care for Grind, but let’s make a promise pact.” She held her pinky out. “We have to find happiness outside of them—outside of boys. Boys make you depressed. They make life not worth living. A boy almost made me hate this city. At one point, I hated to breathe. We can’t be that way. So, us first?—”
I locked my pinky in hers. “And boys second?”
“Nope. Third. Friends and family second.”
We locked our pinkies together tighter.
“Trato.(Deal).”
“No summertime sadness. We too fine for that.” She perked up her lips, and I smiled at her sass.
I nodded. “We are. No summertime sadness.”
A grin spread across Pearla’s face as our pinkies stayed locked. “Don’t tell my sister, but Shio is going to end up withthe perfectwife.”
My body stiffened.
