I was feeling like that nigga. There couldn’t be shit worse than those man-eating gators, or that Olympic swimming-ass shark. Just like my brother, I’d defeated them, so I was ready for whatever now. Don had mentioned four obstacles, and I was hoping falling from the copter counted as one so that it meant I’d only have one more to go.
“The savannah is home to a wide array of animals, including elephants?—”
“Elephants graceful as fuck. I’ma be straight.”
“Zebras—”
“Dem black and white shits? Yeah, ain’t dey like donkeys? I’m good, cuz.”
“Giraffes—”
“Yeah, dey tall asses just wanna eat trees all day. Dey only fight each other.”
“Wildebeests.”
“Dey just some African cows.”
“Hyenas—”
“Now, dem some bottom-feeding scavengers. I’ll kick da shit outta ’em.”
“Various species of birds, reptiles, and insects?—”
“No threats to dis top dawg! I’ll swat da fuck outta dem shits.”
“Cheetas—”
“Hol’ up, now, cuz…” I sat up in my seat, sticking my arm out the window. Cheetahs were fast as hell, and to my knowledge, they could catch me by the neck, drag me up a tree, and feast on me for days.
A herd of gazelles frolicked in front of the truck, which made no effort to slow down, but luckily, they hopped out of the way just in time. Where there was prey, predators lurked nearby. Scarlett didn’t have to tell me about the laws of the savannah; those shits echoed the life I’d lived in Memphis growing up.
Roooooaaaaaaarrrrrrr!
Hairs stood all over my body as a guttural rumble shattered the tranquility, sending a shiver down my spine. I caught a glimpse of orangy-brown fur in the side mirror, but it was a blur with how fast it had moved. The roar didn’t sound like a hyena, though, and them motherfuckers weren’t orange.
“What da fuck was dat, Scarlett?”
“Another animal that lives in the savannah is the lion. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle.”
Roooooaaaaaaarrrrrrr!
A massive lion burst from the tall grass to the left of the truck. Its eyes were fixated on me, muscles rippling beneath the tawny coat.
“Lions process objects differently than we do. When they see the truck, they see a giant predator. They won’t attack as long as you remain inside the vehicle.”
Roooooaaaaaarrrr!
Pulling my arms inside the truck, I pressed on the door siding to let the window up.
“Where da fuck is da button? How da fuck you roll dis shit up, cuh?”
Taking my eyes off the lion for just a second, I saw there were no buttons and no way to let the window up at all. When my eyes bounced back toward the lion, it looked as if it were about to charge the truck.
“Scarlett, dis big-ass nigga ’bout to attack! Let da window up! Now!”
“Sorry, Tunan. The windows are being rolled up now.”
The windows began moving at a snail’s pace. I’d be fucking dead by the time the windows fully let up. My stomach was clenched tightly, and the thought of this lion eating my ass alive tore at my fucking insides. This was the craziest shit I’d ever had to deal with. All these fucking animals—I didn’t know what Don’s obsession was but that nigga needed help. I wish I had told Glow more so that she’d be more prepared to be a young widow. The look in the lion’s eyes told me he was determined to attack and eat my ass.
