“If I was out, we’d have to gone and get married and shit. I don’t give a fuck about being a husband at twenty-two… As long as you’re my wife, that’s all that would’ve mattered.”
He kissed the right side of my mouth, making my knees buckle.
“I miss the way you poured into me constantly. I miss your drive, your determination… I miss checking your work and fixin’ your incorrect answers ’cause you was too busy being fast.” We both chuckled, and then his voice lowered, and no sooner thanhis thumb grazed my lips, he licked them. “I miss the sexy-ass fuck faces you made when I munched on that pretty pussy every night.”
My mouth opened, letting his tongue enter. He’d taught me how to kiss, but I let him take the lead. Our tongues slithered around together, and his hand slid around the back of my neck underneath my ponytail. He gave it a light squeeze, and my already flooded panties was now a gushing mess. I tensed, praying it wasn’t blood even though I hadn’t bled in days.
He broke away from the kiss, licking my lips as he did so. Moving his hand from the back of my neck to the front, he pressed his body against mine and pushed the chair out of the way. Picking me up with one arm, Leader guided me to the table as I panted. My kitty thudded like it had its own drumline, and once I was settled on the table, he lowered himself. Letting my neck go, Leader hovered over my face as I grabbed onto his shoulders for support. I couldn’t express how sore my body was without explaining why it was sore, so his shoulders would have to do.
“We good, baby. I got this room for another five minutes. It’s meant for lawyer meetings, so it should be straight, but I had the Rock Man clean it real good, just in case.”
“The Rock Man?” My right brow rose in confusion as he stood between my legs.
“Jail shit, Pretty Mama. Let me taste it, and I promise I’ma let you be. Just let me feast…”
Lord, Jesus.
I wanted Leader in the worse way. But I’d just had a baby, and the doctor was clear on no sex for six weeks.
But he is so damn fine, and he has a decade in jail. He needs this. He needs me.
“I’m spotting, Leader. But… you can put it in.”
Around Leader, I could never believe my own words. I often became a person I didn’t recognize, but I didn’t feel bad about it. He awakened something in me. It could’ve been because he was my first or because he was so damn attractive, but I was putty in his hands. It could’ve also been that I was itching to feel something. I needed an escape from my reality. I thought I wouldn’t see this man again for at least another eight years if paroled, and now, he was right in front of me.
“As bad as I want to, I can’t. I ain’t got no rubber.” He sighed as he kissed all over my face. “Plus, I’m so fuckin’ backed up that I ain’t trying to slip up and make you my baby mama. That shit wouldendme, baby. I fucked up the first time, but I’ll never jeopardize your future again. I can give you all my fuckin’ money but raising a baby on your own without me would fuck me up.”
My throat tightened, but my girl below kept pounding. Leader didn’t even know he’d already fucked my world up. He also didn’t know I was ready to let him do it again.
“Cali Glee?” he said, waiting for my eyes to find his. “Promise me you’re not gonna let a nigga “baby mama” you. You’re wifey material, baby. The thought of another nigga touching you—shit just fucks with me. But if you do let somebody that close, make sure that nigga know you ain’t nobody fuckin’ baby mama.”
I’ve already been “baby mama’d, I thought as he rubbed my thigh and palmed the other.
“Shit, man… I’ll never tell you to stay down for me. I want you to go be happy, Pretty Mama. Date. Do all the shit eighteen, soon-to-be nineteen, year olds supposed to do. Shit, let me sponsor a summer trip for you, Blayke, and your sister. Do some spontaneous shit, like jumping off a mountain or some other wild shit.
“But don’t be nobody’s baby mama. Make a nigga strap up. Get on some birth control too. If I have to come home and playstepdaddy, a nigga gone be mad at me ’cause I’ma shoot him first for playing with you.”
He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
I was horny and guilty, and the two feelings were rushing over me like a tsunami. I needed to feel him. I needed to feel Leader one more time before he found out what I’d done, and the information crushed his whole world. I wanted to feel him one more time while he still saw me as innocent-ass Cali Glee.
I knew when he found out he was a father of two, our worlds would change forever. I knew the same heartbreak I’d felt over him would hit him in the same way, tenfold. He already felt bad about missing time with Leland, even though he hadn’t verbally expressed it. I could see it in his eyes that being away from his family and me was tearing him up inside. At least he had time with Leland before this prison sentence. He had witnessed his birth and cut his cord; I’d seen pictures at his mama’s house. He’d been present at four of his birthdays and had captured those early milestones. With our daughter—his namesake—he had already missed the birth and wouldn’t see her until her eighth birthday, if he made parole.
Doing what I’ve been doing since I walked through the loud door—I lied. “I’m already on birth control. It helps with my period cramps. And I’m not worried about boys, Leader. It’s you who occupies my dreams too.”
“Good…” He licked his lips as his hands inched further up my legs. “Don’t worry about me, either, Calista. Dream about that white coat.”
His lips crashed into mine without another word. A burst of heat rushed through my body as he used his lips to show his yearning for me. The kiss was slow, deliberate, and thoughtful yet hungry. Shivers of delight tugged through me as he removed my sweatpants without even lifting my hips. I inhaled sharply as he unbuttoned his jumpsuit, keeping his lips locked on mine.I wanted to help him, but I was afraid. He’d explored my body more times than I could count within a short span, but I still felt like a young girl allowing a boy to explore her body as she prepared to lose her virginity.
He pulled from the kiss to push the green jumpsuit down, and it hit the floor, causing a soft clank from his ankle chains. He stood before me in a muscle shirt that displayed his tattoos that I loved and a pair of pure white Ralph Lauren briefs. Leaders’ influence had afforded him certain privileges in the jail, and although I wasn’t fluent in prison culture, I knew brand-new sneakers and name-brand boxers weren’t given out freely.
But it wouldn’t be Leader if he didn’t keep himself up.
His large hand took my face, slightly squeezing it as his lips pressed against mine again. He mumbled something, but I was too turned on to comprehend anything beyond what we were about to do. My panties were still on, and feeling his finger hook them to the side had me spreading my legs wider. Letting my face go, but still exploring my tongue, he pushed his boxers down. Hooking his arm in the crease of my back, he lifted me, and my legs locked around his waist.
As I inhaled, Leader exhaled and lowered me onto his tool.
“Fuckkk! You so perfect. Like a fucking dream, Pretty Mama.”
