“If you’re referring to Alec, then no. We haven’t spoken since Seattle, and I intend to keep it that way.” Asha opened her mouth to deliver what I knew would be a long-winded speech on how I wasmaking the biggest mistake ever, but before she could get a word in, I waved her off. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve already heard what you have to say. Repeating it for the billionth time won’t change my mind.”
With a flick of her wrist, she slapped the tabloid shut. “Why are you so freaking stubborn?”
I’m the one being stubborn?I resisted the urge to laugh.
“I just want to move on with my life,” I told her, my tone souring. “Why is that so hard to understand?”
“Because you guys belong together.” Asha pushed back her bangs, like she was trying to think of the best way to phrase whatever was bothering her. “Felicity, you’re so deep in denial that I feel like I’m watching a rom-com. Right now, we’re at the part after boy-loses-girl where the female lead refuses to admit how perfect they are for each other. And then there’s me, screaming at the TV because she’s being so dumb.”
“Did you just call me dumb?” I asked.
“Maybe.” She grinned, but when I didn’t smile back, Asha turned serious again. “I want you to be happy, Fel, but I think you’re usingwhat happened between you and your mom as an excuse to cut Alec out of your life.”
Rather than responding, I rifled through my bag in search of my name tag. The small plastic badge was in the zippered pocket where I always kept it, but pretending to be busy was easier than answering.
“Please say something,” she pleaded. “You’re never going to be able tomove onif you avoid this subject forever.”
I wasn’t avoiding the subject. I thought about Alec all the time. Not on purpose, of course. Memories of our trip together were painful. But it was difficult to keep my mind from wandering to Alec when my heart still ached for him. Every day I was forced to face my feelings—anger and hurt and longing—because there was no other option. The only thing I was intentionally choosing to avoid was Asha. Couldn’t she see that her constant badgering prolonged my healing process? Just when I thought the hole in my chest was starting to close, she’d wrench the wound back open.
“I cut Alec out of my life because he didn’t deserve to be a part of it anymore,” I said, lifting the strap of my bag over my head. I pulled my curls out of the way and headed toward the hall. “My mom has nothing to do with it.”
Asha blocked my path. “Bullshit. You’re so terrified of being lied to again that you pushed him away so he’d never have the opportunity to do the same thing.”
“But hedidlie to me.” My words had more of a bite than I intended, and when her face fell, I instantly regretted snapping at her. “Look, I’m sorry, but I have to get to work. Can we talk about this later?”
Sighing in defeat, Asha stepped away from the door. “Fine, but it goes without saying that there’s only one person in this situation who isn’t being honest, and it’s not Alec. Stop lying to yourself, Felicity.”
***
It was a slow night at the Electric Waffle.
Miss Daisy lent me her laptop during the downtime so I could research different college options. While I still intended to submit an application to Stanford, my plans for the future were shifting, and I had to adapt to those changes. I already knew I was going to apply to UCLA. Tuition there was nothing compared to Stanford, and I could live at home to cut down on the cost. The Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising was in LA as well, and it offered one of the top metal and jewelry art programs in the country. I was also looking into schools in Seattle, because it would be nice to have Rose in my life again full time.
But the fact of the matter was, I had no clue where I would end up next fall—and I was okay with that. While nerve-racking, the uncertainty of not knowing was thrilling in a way I hadn’t anticipated. I felt like the world was spread out in front of me, and all I had to do was pick which direction to go.
I was so absorbed in my work that I didn’t notice her until she slid into the booth across from me. As I looked up, she pulled her sunglasses off and shook out her hair.
“Well,” said Violet James, smiling as she gave me a once-over. “I suppose we do look alike.”
I didn’t know what to say. From the smirk on her face, I got the feeling that her sudden appearance was meant to shock me.
“Um, hi.” I shut Miss Daisy’s laptop and pushed it away, eyeing Violet with a healthy dose of distrust. “Can I help you with something?”
“Actually, yes. I’m here about Alec.”
“You can stop right there,” I said before she launched into the wholehe’s minespeech. “You don’t have to worry about me. I know you two are together, and I won’t get in the way of that.”
Violet blinked as if I’d sprouted a pair of horns and giggled.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“We’renotdating.” There was this little grin on her face as if she found the idea amusing.
“I don’t understand.”
“We’re strictly friends,” she clarified. “Our moms were college roommates, so we grew up together. Alec is like a little brother to me. He’s producing my first album.”
Her response made me pause, and I remembered a conversation I’d had with Alec in his car on the way to San Francisco.Last month, I got him to agree to let me produce a record for this new client he’s signing.
