“Of what?”
With a shrug, I focused my gaze on the swirling pattern of the carpet. “I don’t know. Lots of stuff, I suppose. I didn’t want you to think I was crazy or ruin things between us by making assumptions.”
“But youdidmake assumptions.” His voice was gentle, which made me feel worse. Why was he so calm and composed? Couldn’t he just yell at me? The pain in his eyes would be so much easier to deal with if he was angry.
“Everyone was lying to me, Alec,” I said, forcing my gaze to meet his again. “My mother was keeping this monumental, life-changing secret, and my two best friends were purposely hiding their relationship from me. I know it’s no excuse, but I felt like nobody was being honest anymore.”
It happened so fast that I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I saw Alec’s lips twitch. “I’ve always been honest with you.”
Not when we first met, a petty part of me wanted to say.You said your name was Aaron!But that wasn’t fair. We hadn’t know each other then.
I hung my head. “Yeah, I know.”
There was a long pause during which I chewed on my lip and tried to think of something else to say, some way to make things right, but I came up with zilch. And maybe that was because there was nothing left to be said. Maybe I didn’t deserve his forgiveness.
“Well, I’ve said my part,” I told him, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I-I understand if you can’t forgive me. God knows I don’t deserve it, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am. Give me a minute to grab my things, and then I’ll leave.”
Turning away from Alec, I pressed a hand to my lips.Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.I wasn’t going to let him see my tears, so after giving myself a second for the heat behind my eyelids to subside, I moved toward the couch to collect my book and bag.
Then Alec spoke.
“The mockingbird is beautiful.”
I was so caught off guard by the sudden change of topic that at first I didn’t know if he’d actually said something or I’d imagined his voice. On top of that, I wasn’t entirely sure what he was talking about—the book or my necklace?—but I turned to face him.
Alec closed the gap that was separating us. My pulse exploded when he reached up and fingered the beads at my throat, his knuckle gently sweeping across my collarbone. “I know I’ve said this before, but you’re really talented.”
“I… Thank you,” I whispered, holding as still as possible.
Is this really happening?
“I took your advice about the whole do-what-inspires-you thing,” I rambled, a desperate attempt to keep Alec here in this moment. “Told my mom that I was ditching law school for jewelry design. Turns out you were right: I had this step-by-step plan for my life, and even though I would’ve been miserable, the thought of throwing it all away was too terrifying.”
His face remained as blank as it had been for most of ourconversation, but I didn’t miss the spark that flashed in his eyes. “And?”
“Well, I don’t have everything figured out yet, if that’s what you’re asking, but I’m in the process of researching what schools would be a good fit for me.” I allowed myself a small grin. “Who knew not knowing every detail of my future could be so liberating?”
“What did your mom say?”
“She was surprisingly supportive.”
He smiled for the first time since I’d ambushed him, but there was something off about it. He wasn’t looking at me, but through me. “You’re lucky,” he said, and I immediately knew he was thinking about his dad.
My shoulders slumped as my momentary spurt of happiness faded. “I’m sorry about what happened with King.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s for the best. If he hadn’t reneged, I never would’ve had the motivation to do my own thing. I was being a hypocrite, preaching to you about taking a risk when I was too afraid to take one myself.”
“I think the situation is more complicated than you being afraid to go out on a limb,” I said. “But I’m glad you figured things out. I want you to be happy, Alec.”
“I want the same for you,” he replied. After a moment’s pause, he tugged me into his arms, and somehow, it was like I’d never left. We stood like that forever, holding each other as the walls between us crumbled away.
“Felicity?” he said, after some time.
“Yeah?”
Alec dropped his forehead onto mine, but didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I could feel it in the way he looked at me.
I missed you.
