My boss had been right. He didn’t stink anymore. Maybe I should’ve told him from the beginning. I hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings, especially when he was doing it because it made him feel good about himself. I was starting to suspect I was a people pleaser in disguise.
“How’s it going with your new job?” I asked. After our trip, he got the new position he’d been gunning for, and he deserved it.
“So good. Thank you for all your help getting the promotion.”
I had not loved going on the trip, but seeing him happy like this made it worth it.
“And how about you? How are you doing? You look… peppy.”
Peppy? Who used that word anymore, and how was I peppy?
“Doing good.” Great. Magnificent, even.
“Heard you met a guy.” And that explained the peppy comment. He was looking for the tea.
The problem with having a drama-loving best friend was the tendency for them to share all the things. Steven was a vault with anything that required secrecy, but something like getting a partner? He was all for sharing the happy news.
“Yeah.” I wasn’t sure how much to say, so I left it at that, which I very quickly realized wasn’t enough for Kevin.
“How’s it going? Is he nice to you? Handsome? Rich?” He kept peppering me with questions, most of which I ignored, some of which I answered as briefly as possible.. Who asked someone if the person they were dating had money or what their abs muscles looked like? Apparently, Kevin did.
“That’s good. Really good,” he said. “Do I hear wedding bells soon?”
When people spoke like that I always internally swapped it over to mate in my head because it was as close as humans got to mating.
“I mean, we’re taking it slow, but yeah, it’s going forward.”
“It doesn’t sound like taking it slow is your choice.” When did Kevin get so perceptive?
“No, no, it is. I don’t want to, like, pressure him or anything.” The more words I said, the less it sounded like it was my choice. I needed to stop talking already.
“Oh gods, you’re being a people pleaser, aren’t you?”
I wasn’t, but I wasn’t about to explain what I was doing. Or maybe I was. I didn’t even know anymore.
“If you don’t want to go slow, tell him. Dragging your feet isn’t going to make him feel good about himself or you two as a couple.”
Damn, talk about getting straight to the point, and a solid one, too. We walked to a couple more booths together, and then he went in his direction and I went mine, but the conversation stuck with me.
Kevin was right.
Stephen was right.
Everyone was right, but me. I was stalling too much, and as great as this was, it could be better.
I decided that maybe a weekend away might be the way to go. I couldn’t just plan it and surprise him with a trip, not with his job, but I could research, and that was what I did when I got home from my lunch delivery. Hari had been with a customer designing a room and I hadn’t wanted to disturb his work, so I just left it here. By the time I got home, he’d messaged me a thank-you and how I was the best.
It was wild how that tiny speck of affirmation fueled me to find the best vacation spot ever. I looked for cabins for rent that weren’t part of homeshare sites. Too many of them had cameras for security, I got it. They were important. But for me, for this trip, that wasn’t going to fly. If I was going to show my beast to my mate, it wasn’t going to be for public consumption. I wanted to be someplace comfortable with trees, lots and lots of trees. It was time. It was definitely time to quit hiding and show my mate who I really was.
I found a few places that looked good and weren’t too far away, and shot a text to Harry.
What do you think about getting away for a weekend, just you and me?Knowing he was busy and not second-guessing myself as I waited for his response were not the same. The minute he took felt like an hour.
Like a weekend-long date?
Every time he asked clarifying questions like this, it only highlighted how poor my communication had been. I promised myself I was going to do better.
Yeah, exactly like that. No pressure.
