His life had seemed pretty bleak and hollow the past year. “I do. Not just for your mom. Not even for you guys, though that’s reason enough. I guess getting famous has been my goal for so long that I never took the time to deal with my own issues.”
“Are you talking about your childhood?”
It was no secret he had no family and had grown up in the system. “Yeah. That kind of upbringing affects a kid. It’s bound to. It affects the man that kid becomes too. But I’ve always been afraid to be alone with my thoughts long enough to really dissect it, if that makes sense?”
“Makes perfect sense to me.” She leaned over and reached into her nightstand, pulling out a hardbound floral book. “Maybe you should think about starting one of these.” At his quizzical expression, she smiled. “It’s a journal.”
“Have long have you been keeping one?” he asked, thinking there was too much about his kids he didn’t know.
“For a long time. It helps a lot. Especially when you and mom split. I didn’t want to talk to my friends about it and mom was going through her own stuff.”
“What about your sister? Couldn’t you have talked to her?”
“I guess,” she said, shrugging. “But she had her own way of dealing with it. I had mine.”
“So, what else do you write in this journal of yours?” he asked, crossing his arms.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She giggled when he scowled. “It’s just a way for me to pour my heart out, I guess. I can express my thoughts, feelings, everything. If I’m mad and want to hit someone or hurt and want to cry, I can let it all out in here.”
“Sounds like a valuable book.”
She reached into her nightstand and pulled out a blue book with swirls decorating the cover. She checked inside to make sure it hadn’t been used. “I know this is probably a little girly for you, but at least it’ll help you get started.”
He took the book before leaning into kiss her cheek. “Thanks, hon.”
“That’s all it takes, you know, Dad. No one expects you to change overnight. Just show Mom you’re trying and maybe she’d be willing to meet you halfway.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
***
They were sitting around the kitchen table, enjoying his favorite dinner, when Gunnar silently acknowledged he was a lucky man. He’d achieved so much, accomplished so many of his goals already. Now he had the freedom to just enjoy time with his family.
“So, when do you have to get back, Dad?” Keegan asked, stealing the last bite of chicken off the platter in the center of the table.
“I’m not sure.” He’d ignored all of the messages from his agent and manager. Even his bandmates. Whatever was going on at home, he wanted no part of it. “I was thinking I might stick around ’til your mom kicks me out.” He winked at Gianna, but she looked flustered and dipped her head.
“It’s been nice having you around,” Ramsey said, looking back and forth between her parents. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been able to hang out like this, as a family.”
A family. The one thing Gunnar had wanted more than anything as a kid was a family of his own. He wanted someone to take him to a real home, one where he was sure he’d be able to stay. He wanted someone to make it legal, but no one had. The irony wasn’t lost on him. Gianna wanted the same thing he had… to make it legal.
“You girls need to finish your homework?” Gunnar asked, looking around the table. “If you need any help—”
“We’ve got it, Dad,” Keegan said as both girls stood in unison. “You need help cleaning up, Mom?”
“I’ll help her,” Gunnar offered, anxious to get a little alone time with Gianna. He knew she’d likely let him have it over that kiss, but he couldn’t be sorry it happened. It felt amazing having her back in his arms again.
“Cool,” Ramsey said, rushing her sister up the stairs.
“Would you like some coffee?” Gianna asked, reaching for the girls’ plates and stacking them on top of hers.
“Let’s leave that for a minute,” he said, moving to the chair Ramsey had vacated. “Can we just talk for a minute?”
“About what?”
“Where we go from here?”
She heaved a sigh before pushing her chair back. “Damn it, Gunnar. I don’t know what you want me to say. You waltz back into my life and start talking about the future when I’d already put you firmly in my past.”
