Chapter Nine
Gianna had been a nervous wreck all day, so she wasn’t surprised when Gabby asked her if there was a problem.
“You’re not thinking of leaving, are you? Going back to L.A. with Gunnar and the girls?” She looked genuinely panicked. “Because you are honestly the best employee I’ve ever had.” She reached for Gianna’s hand. “And I’ve come to think of you as a really good friend too. It may sound selfish, but I don’t want to lose you.”
“I’m not thinking of going back to L.A.,” Gianna said, giving her a brief hug. “But I’m not so sure about Gunnar.” As far as she knew, he hadn’t talked to anyone back in L.A. about his long-term plans, which could mean he planned to return anytime.
When he first arrived, she’d been counting down the minutes ’til he left. But now that he’d been with her a while, she couldn’t imagine losing him again.
“Uh-oh.” Gabby hopped up on the stool behind the counter. “Tell me everything.”
Since Gianna could really use some advice from someone who was impartial and had her best interests at heart, she decided to spill her guts. “Well, we’ve been getting closer.”
“I gathered that.” Gabby winked. “You come in here grinning from ear to ear every day. I assumed that man was finally treating you right.”
“It’s not like that.” Gianna blushed. “I mean, we haven’t, we’re not…” She groaned. “We haven’t been intimate since he came back to town, but tonight the girls are spending the night with a friend and—”
“You totally want to sleep with him.” Gabby clapped her hands. “Go for it, girl. Any woman in your position would do the same thing. We are talking about Gunnar-freaking-Williams, after all.”
Most days she tried to forget who Gunnar was to the rest of the world. She just thought of him as the man she used to love, the father of her children. But late at night, when she was struggling to fall asleep because he was on the other side of the wall instead of sharing her bed, she had to admit he was the man she would always love.
There was just something about him that reminded her of every goodandbad thing that had ever happened between them. One minute she’d remember all the times he’d put her through hell, and the next, she’d recall all the nights he’d taken her to heaven. Wavering so often was making her dizzy… and frustrated. She should be able to make up her mind about a man she’d known half her life, but she couldn’t.
“But then what?” Gianna asked, biting her lip as she watched a mother pushing a stroller past the store window. “What if I do sleep with him and it’s incredible? What if we connect in a way we never have before?”
“That’s a good thing,” Gabby said, her brows drawn together. “Isn’t it?”
“Only if he stays, which is highly unlikely. Come on, his life is in L.A. He’s always loved it there.” She spread her arms. “And this feels like home to me, even though I’ve only been here a short time. No matter how much I love Gunnar—” She slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.
Gabby giggled and pointed at her. “Ha! I knew it. You’re still in love with him.”
“Okay, fine.” She threw her arms up in the air. “I admit it. I’m still in love with him. But I honestly don’t know how the hell it happened. I swore to myself I’d be careful with him this time, that I wouldn’t let my guard down.”
“So, what happened to change your mind?”
Gianna’s lips curved into an involuntary smile. “He just became someone else, someone I’ve never known before.”
“What do you mean?” Gabby asked, looking enthralled as she propped her chin in her hand.
“I don’t know. The first time around it’s not like he had to work very hard to impress me. He was him, and that was enough. But this time, I wasn’t willing to be charmed so easily and that seemed to make him more determined than ever to win me over.”
“Uh, honey. I don’t want to rain on your parade. But are you sure he’s not just doing this just to prove a point… that he can have you again if he wants you?”
It’s not like Gianna hadn’t considered that possibility, but it still hurt to hear her friend suggest it. “That’s why I’m afraid to get in too deep. And I know if I sleep with him again that’s exactly what will happen.”
“Gi, you just admitted you were in love with the guy. I don’t think you can get in much deeper.”
“But if I do sleep with him and he goes back to L.A. in a day or hell even a week, I’d feel so… used.” She didn’t think Gunnar would hurt her intentionally. But he didn’t seem to understand the power he had over her, then or now.
“Have you guys talked about this?”
“We have.” In fact, they’d talked about their feelings more in the past few days than they had in the last few years of their relationship.
“And?”
“He’s still trying to figure things out, I think. He’s ready to make a change in his life, but I don’t think he knows yet what that will look like. He likes being here with me and the girls. I can tell. But for how long?” She ran her hand over her forehead. “We’re talking about a guy who’s used to going non-stop, travelling the world, interacting with different people every day. How can he go from that to—”
“The peace and quiet of Mayberry?” Gabby laughed. “I don’t know if he can. I suspect he doesn’t know if he can. But are you doing yourself any favors by keeping him at arm’s length until he can figure it out?”
