“No, I’m not.” He shook his head. “You guys are. You’re still feeling it. I can tell. You still love doing it, and you should find someone who loves it just as much as you do.” His grim smile told them what his words couldn’t. That it wouldn’t be easy for him to watch someone else take his place. “Other bands have gone out and found new lead singers and it didn’t hurt—”
“Yeah, well this does hurt,” Rich cut in. “This isn’t just about the music and you know it, man. We’re brothers. We swore when we started this band that we’d be in it for the long haul. We all had the same goal.”
“And we attained that goal,” Gunnar said, wishing he could find the words to make them understand how hard this was for him. “I’m just not stoked about world tours and huge stadium shows anymore. I don’t care about big productions or the press. I only care about the music.”
“Have you told anyone else about this?” Jay asked.
“No, I had to talk to you guys first.” His next stop would be their manager’s office and the record label.
His phone rang and Levi’s name flashed across the screen. He hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to him before he left, so he reached for it instinctively before he set it back down when he realized all eyes were on him. “Uh, just a friend I made while I was away.”
“So, you’re replacing us?” Rich asked. “New friends. New music. New attitude.”
“I didn’t want it to end like this.” Gunnar always assumed these guys would be his friends forever, with or without the music. “I hoped you’d be able to understand.”
“You gotta understand,” Jay said softly. “You kinda blindsided us with this, Gunnar. We expected you to tell us you were ready to get back in the studio. That the vacay had been good for you, but you were climbing the walls with boredom.”
“But I wasn’t,” Gunnar said, thinking about how he’d spent his days in Vista Falls. “That’s the weird thing. I’d been living full throttle for so long there was no way I should have enjoyed the slow lane as much as I did.” He smirked. “I liked everything about it, guys. The town, the people…” He drew a deep, cleansing breath. “They didn’t treat me like I was anybody special and I needed that to remind me of where I came from.”
“Why would you want to remember where you came from?” Rich asked, shaking his head. “You had a shitty life before—”
“Before Gianna.” Gunner’s eyes moved around the room and he needed them to hear this, even if it was the only thing they remembered. “It wasn’t the fame or the money that made my life great. It was her and our girls. I didn’t realize that until they were gone, but I do now.”
“Why can’t you just convince her to come back here?” Mikey asked. “You said yourself Ramsey and Keegan miss their old school and friends. I’m sure if you just put the pressure on Gianna, played the guilt card if you had to—”
“That’s just it,” Gunnar said, reliving all the times he’d played that card with her. “I’m done playing games with her. I’m done asking her to make all the sacrifices while I get to do whatever the hell I want. I’m done being selfish. I want this woman in my life and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to ensure I don’t lose her again.”
The long drive had given him time to think—about the mistakes he’d made, the regrets he had, and what he wanted for his future. A lot of things were still unclear, but the one thing that was crystal clear to him… he needed Gianna.
“Then this is about her?” Jay asked, rolling his eyes. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t bail on us unless—-”
“I’m not bailing on you,” he said, trying to hold his temper. Even if they couldn’t part on friendly terms, he didn’t want it to escalate to a heated argument. “And I already told you I’m not doing this for Gi. I’m doing it for myself and my family. Because, guys, I’ve got to put them first for once.” He looked at each one of them before he asked, “Don’t you get that?”
They all nodded reluctantly, murmuring as they stood.
“I’m not gonna lie,” Rich said, standing in front of them. “This really sucks. We hate like hell to lose you.”
“Yeah,” Jay said. “But we don’t want you to go on doin’ this if you’re not feelin’ it, dude. That wouldn’t be right.”
“I appreciate that.” Gunner smiled, offering Rich his hand. He could finally breathe when Rich pulled him into a back-slapping hug. Even without the music to bond them, they were going to be okay.
***
Gunnar kicked his feet up on his desk and dialed Levi. “Hey, man,” he said when Levi greeted him. “Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was in a meeting with my band. What’s up?”
“I heard you left town. What the hell? You couldn’t even pass by to say goodbye? Not even a text?”
Gunnar liked that Levi felt comfortable enough to call him out. It proved he thought of him as just another guy, not some big celebrity. “Sorry about that. I kind of got into it with my kids before I left. I was distracted.”
“Say no more. Things okay now?”
“We’re getting there.” He knew they would have more conversations, even more fights, before they finally got it all out in the open. They all had a right to air their grievances and he wanted Keegan and Ramsey to know that’s how he felt. “It’ll take time.”
“Time, huh? You got time on your side or are you headin’ back out on the road?”
“Is that your not-so-subtle way of asking whether I plan to come back to your neck of the woods?”
He picked up the framed family photo on his desk. Gianna had insisted on the photo shoot for their family Christmas card and he’d griped about it the entire time, claiming he was too busy for shit like that. What an idiot he’d been.
