Ethan gaped at him. “Did I just hear you right? You actually would’ve considered marrying her back then? But you didn’t even know her!”
Loran knew it sounded crazy, but even then he knew Bella was the one. “I knew enough.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes before Ethan wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. “Can I give you some advice?”
“Please.” Loran knew he needed all the help he could get where Bella was concerned.
“Give her time to come around to your way of thinking. I know it’s not easy, feeling the way you do about her, but look how far you’ve come in the past couple of weeks. You guys are spending time together again and…” Ethan slipped his sunglasses up on his head. “I know this is weird as hell, bein’ my sister and all, and you can tell me to mind my own business…”
“Just ask already,” Loran said, rolling his eyes. He had a pretty good idea what was coming. He wouldn’t like it, but he had been expecting it.
“Are you and she… uh… you know… sleeping together?”
Loran thought about telling him it was none of his business, but if it was his kid sister he’d want to know what the deal was. “She spent the night at my place last night.”
Ethan nodded before digging into his lunch again. “Then she’s serious about you.”
“How can you say that? Didn’t you once tell me that sex meant as much to your sister as it did to me?”
“Sure, when the guy she’s with doesn’t mean anything to her. Then it’s just sex. With you it’s not.”
Loran wanted to believe that, but had to ask, “How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know Bella.”
Ethan may have thought he knew her, but she’d kept her brother in the dark about an event that shaped the person she became. Not that Loran would ever share that with him... or anyone.
“And I know she’s into you. If you want my advice, let her set the pace. Even if you’re going slow, at least you’re moving forward, right? That’s a hell of a lot more than you could have said even a month ago.”
He made a good point. That’s why Loran was grateful he had so many good friends who weren’t afraid to set him straight when he was on the wrong course.
“I guess I’m just afraid of losing her.” His stomach turned and he pushed his second untouched burger aside when he thought about it. “I feel like if I nail her down, and we start making plans for our future together she’ll be less likely to bail on me again.”
“That’s what you really want?” Ethan asked. “A future with my sister? We’re talking the whole nine? Marriage, babies—”
“Yeah, that’s what I want.” It should come as no surprise to Ethan, given how crazy he’d been acting since losing Bella. “But I’m not sure it’s what she wants. She says she’s never thought much about marriage. You think that’s true?”
“That’s what she’d like people to believe, but I’ve seen the way she looks at my kids. She loves them so much, she’s so good with them. I know she wants a couple of her own.”
“I want that too. I just don’t know how to walk this tightrope, man.” He’d come there determined to smother his frustration but it always found a way to rear its ugly head.
“What do you mean?”
“I feel like if I say or do the wrong thing she’ll be gone. And I’m not used to censoring every damn thing I say.”
Ethan laughed. “Tell me about it. You have no filter.”
“But with her I do. I find myself filtering everything I say.”
“You shouldn’t.” Ethan frowned. “Seriously, just be yourself with her. Tell her what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. Even if she’s not quite there yet, I’m sure she’ll appreciate knowing you are.”
“You don’t honestly believe that?” When Ethan nodded, Loran frowned. “But won’t that seem like I’m pressuring her?”
“Not if you let her know you’re not. Just tell her you don’t need her to say or do anything. You don’t expect a response. You just want her to know how you feel about her.”
It sounded better than keeping his mouth shut. “I’ll try it.”
“Good, now shut the hell up and eat. We’re starting to sound like a couple of women, talking about our feelings and shit.”
