Chapter Ten
The past week had been cathartic for Bella. She’d spent more time with Loran and Stella, but always reserved a block of time each morning and night for her journal. The morning was for her musings. The evening was, as Stella suggested, for her gratitude list. Both practices had been life-changing. She was more in touch with her feelings than she’d ever been and standing on her best friend’s front porch she knew exactly what the next step in her journey had to be.
She’d texted Grace to ask if she could stop by, so her sister-in-law was waiting for her at the door when she pulled in the drive. She would have appreciated a few extra minutes to rehearse what she wanted to say, but since that wasn’t an option she settled for a deep breath and a prayer.
Grace pulled her into her arms. “Your timing’s perfect. The kids are with your parents so we can visit for a bit without distractions.”
“But Ethan’s here, right?” She didn’t want to go through this twice.
“Yeah, but he promised to stay out of our way.” She winked. “In case we wanted to indulge in a little girl talk.”
“Um, actually I’d like to see him too.”
Grace frowned as she squeezed her hands. “Honey, are you okay?” She brushed her hand over Bella’s cheek. “You look a little pale. Are you feeling alright?” She fisted her hand on her hip, putting on her stern mommy face. “Did you get busy at work and forget to eat lunch again?”
“No, Loran brought me a sandwich from the deli and we ate at my desk.”
Grace grinned. “How are things going with that sexy man of yours?”
“Good. Really good,” she whispered, still afraid of jinxing it. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a really long time, maybe ever.”
Grace squealed before giving her a bone-scrunching hug as they swayed back and forth. “Eeee! I’m so excited. I just knew he was the one for you.”
“He just might be,” Bella admitted, linking her arm through Grace’s as they walked into the family room. “But I’ve still got some stuff to work through before I know for sure. That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you and E about.”
“Sit,” Grace said, pointing to the large beige sectional that faced a wall of windows, affording an amazing view of the grounds. “I’ll go get Ethan and grab some drinks. You want anything special?”
“No, thanks.” She forced a smile even though her hands were shaking. “Whatever you have is fine.”
“Okay, be right back.”
Bella sank down on the couch with a heavy sigh, grateful to have a few moments alone. Loran knew what she was up to and offered to come along for moral support, but she told him she needed to do it alone. She was starting to regret that decision. Having Loran along would have made what she was about to do a hell of a lot easier.
“Hey, you.” Ethan grinned when he spotted her. “I was just getting a quick work-out in.” He tossed a towel over his shoulder and pulled his damp t-shirt away from his body. “I’d give you a hug, but you’d probably smack me.”
She winced. “Save the sweaty hugs for your wife. She likes you more than I do.”
Ethan chuckled before sitting on the arm of the chair across from her. “Where’s Loran? Why didn’t he come with you?”
“He had something to take care of.”
He was yarn shopping for Stella, something that only made Bella love him more. Not that she’d tell him that. Yet. Once she dropped the L-bomb she couldn’t take it back and needed a bit more time to be sure before she said anything to him.
When Grace returned and set a drink tray down on the coffee table Bella said, “Uh, so there’s something I need to talk to you guys about.” Before they could ask what it was, she plowed ahead. “I know I should have told you about it a long time ago, but I couldn’t.”
They exchanged a concerned look before Grace sat down beside her. “What is it, honey? You know you can tell us anything.”
“I told Loran,” she said, swallowing her fear. “And asked him to keep it a secret. But I knew that wasn’t fair to him.” She ran her hands down her floral pencil skirt. “Besides, I decided I don’t want to carry this with me forever, likeIhave something to be ashamed of.”
“Sis, you’re kinda freakin’ me out here,” Ethan said, paling. “Would you just tell us what you’re talking about?”
“Something happened when I was in college.” Her breath was shaky when she forced her eyes to meet her brother’s. She knew he would take this hardest of all, because he hadn’t been able to protect her.
“What happened?” He crossed his arms, looking anxious as he bit his lip.
“You remember that guy I was dating?” She turned her attention to Grace, knowing for sure she would remember. “Daniel.”
“Yeah, sure,” Grace said, frowning. “I haven’t heard you talk about him in years. Did he contact you—”
