A tap on the door made Bella jump. If it was Loran she didn’t want to see him. She wasn’t ready. Bella swiped at the tears streaking her face. “Oh God, I hate to ask, but would you mind running interference for me? In case it’s him? I just can’t deal with this right now.”
“Of course,” Grace said, jumping up and crossing the room.
Bella heard her assistant and Grace exchange a few words before her best friend re-entered carrying a crystal vase… containing a replica of the flowers she’d selected for the centerpieces at their wedding. He’d obviously ordered them from their florist.
“I don’t believe this,” Bella muttered, staring at the array of white roses, clematis, and Japanese andromeda.
Grace set them down on the corner of Bella’s desk before plucking an envelope from the bouquet. “Obviously you know who they’re from, but do you want to read the card?”
“I can’t believe he thinks he can make up for this with flowers!” Bella didn’t know how she expected him to make up for this, or whether he even could, but flowers definitely weren’t the answer.
“Do you want me to read it?”
Bella almost told her to rip it up and throw it in the trash, along with the flowers, but her heart protested. Twenty-four hours ago this man had been the centre of her world. She couldn’t be hateful or vindictive, no matter how much she might want to.
“Sure, why not?” It’s not like he could say or do anything to make matters worse.
“Bella,” Grace read. “I made the biggest mistake of my life last night. It was inexcusable and unforgiveable. If you’re done with me, I understand, but I pray you’re not, baby. I love you more than anything. And I want to be there for you, every day for the rest of our lives. If you’ll let me? Loran.”
Grace and Bella drew a simultaneous breath before Bella palmed her forehead, and whispered, “What the hell am I gonna do?”
“Follow your heart, sweetheart. That’s all you can do.”
***
Loran was gripping his phone, wrestling with the decision to call Bella. He was sure she’d gotten the flowers by now, but he couldn’t ignore the gnawing in his gut that told him he’d only made things worse by sending them.
Flowers. Such a stupid, trivial gesture, when it felt like his whole future was at stake. You sent flowers to a co-worker for her birthday, not the love of your life after you ripped her heart out and stomped on it.
His doorbell rang and his heart tripped as he said a silent prayer that it was her. If she was at least willing to talk to him maybe he could make her understand what he’d been thinking and feeling when he asked that… vile question.
He swung the door open and his hope died. “Hey Grace, you come to tear me a new one?” He gestured for her to enter. “Do your worst. There’s nothing you could call me I haven’t already called myself.”
Grace looked miserable as her eyes met his. “I just have one question for you. Why?”
He sucked in a harsh breath, wishing it wasn’t so damn hard to breathe past the pain lodged in his chest. “Because I’m an asshole, that’s why. A stupid, thoughtless, senseless, inconsiderate—”
“Why?” she cut in. “Were you having second thoughts about marrying her? Trying to sabotage the relationship?” She pushed her thick hair off her face when it fell forward. “Because I’ve been wracking my brain trying to make sense of this and that’s the only thing that comes to mind.”
Loran couldn’t expect Grace to make sense of it when he couldn’t. He swiped a hand over his mouth as his mind drifted back to the previous night. Her words. His. The crushing realization that he could never take that question back and no amount of apologizing would erase it from her memory.
“No, it was nothing like that.”
She gripped his forearm, curling her fingertips into his skin. “Then please help me understand, Loran. You know I’ve been rooting for you guys all along, but you have to help me understand how and why you did this.”
He’d expected her anger, but he’d never expected her pain and anguish. She’d obviously been to see her best friend and was heartbroken over the state she found her in. Thanks to him and his thoughtlessness.
“The things she said.” He closed his eyes as he heard Bella’s voice reciting those words. “She said it was too late, that she’d screwed up and she hated herself for what she’d done. She said she was sorry.”
Bella looked at him, confusion drawing her brows together. “I don’t understand. Why would she say that?”
He tipped his head back, wishing he’d been able to keep his mouth shut long enough to let Bella have her say last night, before he’d jumped to outrageous conclusions. “She thought it was her fault that she’d had the miscarriage.” He shook his head. “Because of the stress she’d been under. Not taking care of herself, not eating right, or working too hard… I don’t know.”
“Oh God.” Grace drew a deep breath. “I’m a woman, I get it. You believe it’s your responsibility to protect your baby. When you can’t you feel guilty, even when it’s not your fault. Poor Bella.” She narrowed her eyes. “I understand why she felt the way she did. But you? I don’t get that at all.”
“When she said she was sorry, that she’d messed up…” He could kick his own ass for thinking the worst of her after she’d always given him the best of herself. “I wondered what she could have done that would have been so terrible. The only thing I could think of, that may be unforgivable, would be cheating on me.”
“You really believe she’d do that?”
