Harper curled her slender fingers around her glass as soon as Joe set it down. “Jude mentioned that you’re looking after your nephew while your brother’s deployed. I think that’s amazing, Deke.”
He didn’t look after Drew because he expected praise from anyone. He did it because it was the right thing to do. He was proud of his kid brother for putting his life on the line for their country. The least he could do was look after his little boy in his absence. Give him one less thing to worry about.
“Thanks.” He tapped his bottle against her glass. “Here’s to resurrecting old friendships.”
She raised an arched brow, like she was challenging him. “We were never just friends and you know it.”
“No, I guess we weren’t.”
He’d first spotted her when she was a freshman and he was a junior. He’d had a thing for her then, but things at home were so bad, and his head was so messed up dating hadn’t been on his radar. But she’d flirted with him every chance she got, and he couldn’t go on ignoring one simple fact: he wanted her. Bad.
“Heard about your engagement.” Deke tipped his bottle back, washing the bitter taste out of his mouth.
She raised an eyebrow, as though she was waiting for the rest. “What? You’re not gonna tell me you’re sorry it didn’t work out, like everyone else does?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
He rolled his eyes, thinking he shouldn’t have to state the obvious. “Word has it he cheated on you. Idiot didn’t deserve you. Just be grateful you found out before the wedding.” His mother hadn’t been so lucky. His old man messed around before and after he got married, and showed no remorse. Made Deke sick just thinking about guys who could do that.
“You’re right.”
He studied her, looking for traces of sadness, but found none. “You’re not heartbroken then? No thoughts of forgiving him, taking him back?”
Her laugh was short and hostile. “No way. If I ever see him again I’ll do what I should have done when I caught him in the act.”
The air seeped through Deke’s teeth as he imagined her dropping that loser to his knees. “Ouch. You caught them goin’ at it? That sucks.”
“Like you said, better I know now.” She side-eyed him. “So, why’d you dump me?”
He coughed mid-sip and had to cover his mouth with his hand so he wouldn’t spew beer all over the bar. He suspected they might get around to this eventually, but not in the first five minutes. “Uh, I was doin’ you a favor, sweetheart. You wouldn’t wanna be tied down with all those guys on campus chasin’ after you.”
She twisted her glass in her hand as she stared straight ahead. “I didn’t want anyone else. And if you didn’t know that you weren’t paying attention ‘cause I told you every damn day.”
She’d never made her feelings for him a secret, but time and distance had a way of eroding the best relationships and he didn’t want to be the guy holding her back or trying to keep her locked down.
“I know.” He peeled at the label on his beer while his gut twisted with pain and regret. A thousand times over the years he’d asked himself if letting her go was the biggest mistake he’d ever made, and with her sitting beside him, the answer he heard echoing in his ears was… Hell yes.
Her eyes narrowed when she finally swung her head in his direction. “So what was the real reason then? And don’t give me some BS about—”
“Never lied to you once, Harper.” His eyes locked with hers and memories of the best moments of his life, between the sheets with this woman, slammed him. “And I never will.”
She inhaled before shaking her head and breaking eye contact. “You wrecked me.”
Deke closed his eyes and let her claim seep in. He’d been wrecked when they broke up too, but he hated knowing he’d done that to her. “Didn’t mean to. Just did what I thought was best for you.”
“How ‘bout asking me what I thought was best?” Her eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t you think I should have had a say?”
Deke knew she would have told him they’d find a way to make it work, but he didn’t see how. She didn’t have to live with the crazy inside his head back then. There was no soothing those savage thoughts. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the visual of her with other guys out of his head. It tormented him. Until finally he had to put an end to it the only way he knew how.
“Well?”
He hadn’t realized she’d been waiting for an answer. Just like that he’d hopped back on the crazy train, not more than ten minutes after seeing her again. As much as he’d once loved her, this girl messed with his mind in a way no one else ever had.
“It just seemed like a lost cause, Harper.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the stress building. He hated it when things didn’t make sense or when he had cause to second guess himself. He liked being in control, always knowing the right action to take.
“A lost cause?” she echoed. “That’s how you felt about our relationship? Like it was a lost cause?” She slid off the bar stool, taking her drink with her. “Good to know. Glad we cleared that up.”
