The color rose in her cheeks before she said, “I don’t get jealous about shit that happened years ago. Or even months ago. That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna call you out for things that are happening now.”
“There’s nothing happening now.” I kissed the inside of her wrist. “Except what’s happening with you.” I brushed her palm over the scruff on my jaw, closing my eyes. “This is all I want. Just you. No one else, baby.”
She leaned in, whispering in my ear, “I hope you’ll still be saying that six months from now, Knox. For your sake and mine.”
Chapter 14
Cece
The parting shot in his dressing room wasn’t intended to hurt Knox. I was honestly terrified that six months could change everything. He thought he wanted me now, but what if he got bored? What if he realized fidelity wasn’t his thing? It could happen. He’d never been in arealrelationship before, so how would either of us know whether he was cut out for it until time put it to the test?
Watching him strut across the stage after a full hour of working the crowd into a frenzy was hot as hell, especially since I was looking at him in a whole new light now. He wasn’t just my best friend anymore. He was my man. My lover. My… boyfriend? We’d talked about the exclusivity clause, but hadn’t labeled it. And I didn’t need to. For now I was just satisfied knowing he was mine, for as long as it lasted.
I’d be lying if I said forever wasn’t dancing around in my head, but we had to take this thing one day at a time, and pray, that even if we couldn’t make it as a couple our friendship could still survive. Because without that, I didn’t know how I could go on working for him. Losing my best friend, my lover, and my livelihood? God, I really was putting everything on the line for this.
I was so caught up in my own thoughts I didn’t even hear Knox say my name. He was asking me to step up and sing a duet with him. His original partner on the song was on a tour of her own, so they rarely had a chance to sing the song together, with the exception of awards shows. But he hadn’t given me a heads up about this tonight. I’d sang the song with him dozens of times before, but I didn’t know he’d ask me to do it tonight. And not when my brain was so scrambled.
I smiled and waved to the crowd as I reached for the hand Knox offered as I stepped up to the second mic on the stage. I knew this song by heart. It was one of my favorites, but it was hard to be centre stage with the man when we shared an epic secret from everyone standing behind us. The people we considered our second family. The words to the song were intimate, about two lovers getting a second chance, and the song usually ended with a near kiss. I was afraid if we got that close tonight, in front of our friends and this crowd, everyone would see right through us.
I saw cell phones lighting up the dark. Images and video capturing us. I had to play it cool. Keep it professional.
Knox opened the song strumming a few chords on his guitar while the crowd’s excitement receded to quiet anticipation. His gravelly voice delivered the first line and it felt like a shot of whiskey, burning as it slid over me, helping me ease into the moment.
I closed my eyes and got wrapped up in his voice as he belted out the first chorus. Sweet words about making love one more time. Recapturing what was lost. Hiding out in bed, pretending the lies and secrets never happened.
Is that what I was doing… pretending? Believing that Knox was suddenly going to transform from a carefree player to boyfriend of the year? Ugh. I had to get out of my own head to do this song justice.
I turned to face the man getting me all tied up and sang like my life depended on it. Words about getting locked in memories. Tears shed. Hearts broken. Yesterday, tomorrow. Lost love and wasted chances.
He countered with lyrics about missing me, losing out, so much pain and regret. He was begging now, pleading. Just one more chance.
My heart was breaking as I imagined what would happen if this really was our story. Is this how it all would end? Years of loving and relying on each other, squandered, because we weren’t satisfied with all we had?
I closed my eyes instead of getting lost in his as I brought the song to its heartbreaking end. It’s too late. Time ran out. We have to learn to live without each other. Face the nights alone. It’s over.
The lights went down on us and we lowered our mics, our faces mere inches apart as he whispered in my ear, “Perfection. That’s what you are, Ce.”
He clasped my hand in his while we took a bow for the crowd and he announced a short break.
He ushered me backstage, his arm around my shoulders, while the rest of the band followed behind us. A stagehand tossed towels and water at him and another did the same for me.
He found a dark corner and led me to it, while I tried to slow my racing heart. I was nervous and I was letting my fear get the best of me. My mind was spinning with worst case scenarios and I didn’t know how to calm it.
Knox smiled as he wrapped the towel around my neck and gently blotted my cheeks before swiping another towel over his forehead and pushing damp hair off his face. “You were amazing, baby.”
“Thanks.” Knox didn’t blow smoke. He was always honest about a musician’s performance, whether it was me or a special guest and long-time friend. “You, uh, kind of surprised me with that one. It wasn’t in the line-up for tonight.”
“I know.” He grasped my hand, bringing it to his lips. “I know, sorry about that. It just felt right.”
“Really?” I uncapped my bottle and took a sip of water. “Uh, why’s that?” It was a song about a painful break-up. Why would that feelrightto him tonight?
“I kept meeting your eyes onstage and I could tell you were getting inside your head.” He tapped his index finger against my temple. “Had to do something to bring you back to the present.” He raised a shoulder. “That seemed like the best way.”
I gave him a rueful smile, both impressed and annoyed that he was able to read me so well. “Well, it worked. Sort of.”
“I want to kiss you right now.” He looked over his shoulder, where the band was taking a breather and stagehands were making sure everyone had what they needed before they went back out there. “I know I can’t. But damn it, I want you to feel it… to know that what we have is real.” He sounded frustrated, like he was fighting an internal battle. “I mean it. This is as real as it gets for me. I wouldn’t have asked for a chance with you unless I was sure. So whatever you’re thinking, just stop, please.”
By nature, I was a risk-taker. I’d moved to Nashville the year I turned nineteen, with my jalopy packed full of everything I owned. I’d played the bar scene for four years before I met Knox and we became friends. Another year before he decided he needed me to take his music to the next level. So much history. So many risks. And I didn’t regret a single one, not where he was concerned.
