“Shit.” He sighed. “Okay, but if that’s what it takes to get him back on his feet, that’s what it takes, right?”
“Yeah.”
A friend’s mother had a triple bypass a couple of years ago and I knew the recovery period was a month. That meant my mama would need me or my sister to stay at home for a while and help out, because I knew there was no way Daddy would consent to a nurse fussing over him.
“But, um, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish out this tour with you.” There was a long pause before I added, “I’m so sorry. I hate like hell to leave you in the lurch like this, but Mama’s gonna need help during the recovery and I can’t let Charli take that on by herself.”
“Okay, yeah, of course. I get it. Take as much time as you need.” He hesitated, “I’m gonna miss you like crazy, but family comes first.”
Family had to come first, as much as I loved this crazy-generous man. And how long could I expect a guy like Knox to wait around while I played nursemaid to my sick father? Even when he was back home in Nashville I wouldn’t be. It might be months before we saw each other again.
“So, um, I’m thinking I might have to hang around awhile, even after Daddy’s recovered. Dade was here today and—”
“Dade was there?”
“Yeah, with Auden—”
“Why the hell did Dade bring him?”
I had to smile as I sank down on a bench in the middle of a circular outline dotted with colorful flowers. “He wanted to make sure I was okay.” I could practically see his scowl when I held the phone away from my ear.
He grumbled, adding, “I bet he did. Figured you were vulnerable, knew I wasn’t there with you, and saw an opportunity.”
“Would you stop?” I rubbed my palm on the thigh of my skinny jeans. “He was here as a friend, nothing more.”
“Whatever. I don’t care about him right now. I just want to make sure you and your family are okay. You need anything, babe?”
He’d already done more than enough, but I loved him even more for asking. “No thanks, we’re good. But, um, when Dade was here he basically offered my sister a job. I know she wants to take it, but feels she can’t because of everything that’s going on with Daddy. She’s talking about giving up her apartment and moving back home, but I can’t let her do that, Knox. And I can’t let her give up this opportunity to work for Dade.” Even if I was afraid she’d get in too deep and fall for her long-time crush.
“Okay, so we hire a nurse for your dad and—”
“That would never work. You know the way he is.”
“Sweetheart, what are you saying? Are youevercoming back out on the road with me?”
Tears pricked my eyes when I thought about giving up the life I loved with the man who was quickly becoming the centre of my world, but it didn’t feel like I had a choice. I’d had my shot at my dream and I’d made it come true. Now it was Charli’s turn.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “It may not be possible. There’s no telling how much help Daddy will need and Mama just can’t handle it on her own. They’re not getting any younger and after something like this, it just puts everything into perspective. I’d never forgive myself if I felt like I abandoned them when they needed me most.” When he didn’t say anything, I asked, “You can understand that, can’t you?”
“Yeah, sure.” He cleared his throat. “But Cece, I need you too. You know that, right?”
“I do.” And I needed him more than I was willing to admit. “But I just need time to sort this out, okay? I know the timing sucks. We’ve only been a couple like a minute…” I knew I had to offer him an out. It was the only fair thing to do. “So if you want to take a breather while I—”
“A breather?” he shouted. “Are you kidding me, right now? You think I’m letting you go?”
I knew he wouldn’t want to, but fidelity had never been Knox’s strength and now I was basically asking him to live like a monk until I could get my shit together, however long that might take. Months? Years? There was no telling.
“Hon, listen to me. I know you love me and I love you… so much.” I brushed away the tears gliding down my cheeks, trying to suppress a sniffle so he wouldn’t know this was tearing my heart out. “But I can’t ask you to wait for me. That’s not fair to you and—”
“Shut. Up.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I said shut that sweet little mouth of yours if you’re gonna talk shit about dumpin’ me, ‘cause that’s not gonna happen.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do! I love you enough to—”
“Let me go? Spare me. I already told you, that’s not happening. I don’t care what you say. As long as you love me there’s no one else I want.”
