“Get in here,” he grumbled. “Wanna talk to you.”
I tried not to let my nerves get the best of me. If my father knew I was a wreck he’d let me have it for torturing myself with my thoughts. He’d always been an easy-going guy who let life unfold instead of trying to control it. Except when it came to our boyfriends. On that subject he always had to have his say.
I sat in the chair next to his bed and reached for his hand, waiting for him to start.
“I saw your boyfriend earlier.” He smirked. “It’s about time you two got your act together.”
“It may have taken awhile, but Knox was worth the wait.” I smiled. “You’re happy… about us?”
He raised a bushy grey eyebrow as he released my hand to lace his hands over his stomach. “Would it matter if I wasn’t?”
“No.”
“Good.” He chuckled. “If you’re worried about what other people think I didn’t raise you right. Only thing you should care about is whether he makes you happy. Does he?”
I nodded. “Very.” No hesitation, just certainty, that’s what I felt when he questioned me about Knox.
“He’s crazy about you. Any idiot can see that.” He cleared his throat, blinking. “That’s all I ever wanted for my girls. For you to find men who could see how special y’all were. I’m glad you have Knox now, but your sister—”
“Will get her happy ending, Daddy.” I didn’t want him to go into surgery tomorrow worrying about us and what might happen if he wasn’t around to watch after us anymore. “I know she will. She’s too amazing for some smart guy not to see that.”
He nodded. “I guess you’re right. But do me a favour. Look out for her, make sure she doesn’t get in too deep with the wrong guy or—”
“You’ll be around to look out for her,” I assured him, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I knew what he was trying to tell me…in casehe didn’t make it I needed to be my little sister’s protector, but I refused to believe he wouldn’t make it.
He was too tough, too stubborn to go out like that, on a damn operating table. If I knew him he’d kiss this world good-bye in a blaze of glory, going way too fast on his chopper, flipping off the cop trying to chase him down. He’d die like he lived. On his terms.
“You’ll be around for a long time, to intimidate our boyfriends, walk us down the aisle to meet the menyoudeem good enough…” I smiled, swiping at tears spilling down my cheeks. “And don’t forget tormentin’ Mama. What would she do if she didn’t have you to get her all riled up?”
He chuckled as he brushed away a tear on my cheek with his finger. “True enough.” His expression was somber when he said, “She’d be lost without me. Just like I’d be lost without her.”
“That’s why you’ve got to stick around, to take care of her.”
I’d never tried to be stronger, or felt weaker. I kept telling myself I was his daughter and he hadn’t raised me to be a snivelling crybaby, but nothing prepares you for the possibility of having to say good-bye to the man who’s been your hero since you were in diapers.
“But I know if it’s my time to go, she’s got you and your sister. You’d never let her down.”
I knew he was looking for reassurance, but that would mean conceding that this might really be the end, the last time I saw him, and I couldn’t do that. When they wheeled him off to surgery in the morning he’d be taking a piece of my heart with him and the only way I’d get it back is if he came back to us. Alive.
“Of course we wouldn’t let Mama down. But livin’ without you, you know that’s not an option for her.” I rolled my eyes, trying to lighten the mood. “I can’t claim to understand the way y’all relate, but it works. You’re the only one for her and she’s the only one for you.” Kind of like me and Knox.
“That’s the way it’s always been.” He smiled. “I knew when I caught her eye at that rowdy biker bar all those years ago that I was lookin’ at a little lady that was gonna keep me on my toes. And she has been.” He reached for my hand, squeezing. “I wouldn’t have traded a day with her for anything. And bein’ your daddy, yours and Charli’s, that’s been the biggest blessin’ of my life.”
Cue the damn waterworks and pass the tissue. “I know, Daddy. You’re… the best.” That was the only way to describe this man. He was the best. Father. Friend. Protector. Cheerleader. He was all of those things in one tough, mean, package lined with a heart of gold. A badly damaged heart that was barely beating.
I rested my head on the bedframe, my hand still wrapped in his. There was so much I knew I should say, but I was afraid. Thank you felt too final. I love you— too obvious. I need you— too selfish. So what could you say to someone who’d breathed life into you, kept you safe, made you feel protected, chased the bullies away, convinced you to follow your dreams, and helped you believe in yourself? What could you say to the man who’d made you the woman you were?
“You’re my rock,” I said finally, hoping that summed it up. “I knew no matter how bad life got, you’d always be there.” And I prayed I’d be able to count on that for many more years, just like he’d come to count on me, if God spared him. “I couldn’t have chased my dreams if you hadn’t been there cheering me on, Daddy.”
My first years in Nashville, playing the bar scene, I’d call my parents every Sunday night, and I’d tried to sound happy, but he saw right through the façade. He told me if chasing your dreams was easy everyone would do it. It was supposed to be hard. It was only for the strong-willed, and I was too strong to turn back now. He said he was proud of me, had faith in me, and he knew I was gonna make it.
I owed my success to him. If not for him, I wouldn’t be sharing a stage with the love of my life, in front of forty thousand people every night. I’d probably be waiting tables and crying over my lost dreams.
“Enough of this sappy shit,” he said, giving me a lingering look that let me know he appreciated every word. “Gotta get some sleep now.”
“Okay.” I stood, kissing his forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow, when you get out of surgery.”
“God willing.”
