I linked my hand with hers and led her to the tree she’d pointed out earlier. I spread the blanket on the ground as she looked up the hill.
“It feels weird being here,” she said, looking up at the old red brick farmhouse with wraparound porch. “Are you sure this is okay?”
“I promise.” I tugged on her hand. “Now sit. You need to eat.” She’d been grabbing snacks here and there, drinking only when I forced water or coffee into her hands, but I suspected she hadn’t enjoyed a real meal since she got that call about Chee.
I spread out the food. Fresh bread, crackers, spreads, thinly sliced meat, cheeses, fruit, and wine. She clapped her hands when she spotted the gourmet chocolate… because my girl had a serious sweet tooth.
“You are the best!” she said, throwing her arms around my neck as she rained kisses down on my cheeks. “I love you so much!”
“That’s all I had to do?” I grinned. “Buy you chocolates?”
Girls I’d dated in the past, even casually, expected diamonds, designer clothes, and cars. But Cece? Chocolate truffles, that’s all it took to make her light up. That’s why I loved her. She was a simple girl who knew material things couldn’t buy happiness. Happiness came from moments like this, hanging out with someone you loved, talking, daydreaming, sharing some good food and a nice glass of wine.
“That’s all you ever have to do,” she said, grinning as she watched me open her favorite bottle of chardonnay. Cece enjoyed a cold beer as much as I did, but I thought the occasion warranted wine. Champagne would have been even better, but I didn’t want to show my hand too soon.
“What shall we drink to?” she asked, holding her glass by the stem, as she waited for me to raise my glass.
“To more moments like this.” As long as we took time to connect like this, I knew no matter how crazy life on the road got, we’d always feel grounded. “Just falling deeper in love, baby.”
“I love that.” She touched her glass to mine before taking a sip. “Hmm, haven’t had this in a while.” She swallowed, looking like she wanted to ask me something, but was afraid.
“What’s going on in there, beautiful?” I tapped my fingertip against her temple before popping a cube of cheese into her mouth. “And don’t tell me nothing. You know I know you too well. You can’t lie to me.”
“Um, after I left, did things get a little crazy, on the tour?”
I frowned as I spread a cracker with brie and handed one to her before claiming one for myself. “What do you mean? Did you hear something?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I talked to Chris and Gina and they said it was business as usual, but I wasn’t sure if that meant…”
I tipped my head, trying to understand her hesitancy, as I passed her a stem of grapes. “What, baby? You wanna ask me something, just ask.”
“So, um, life on the road with you has always been… interesting, to say the least. You and your band like to have fun.” She raised her hand. “And there’s nothing wrong with that, honestly.”
I thought I could guess where she was going with this, but I needed to hear her say it. “But?”
“The booze, the drugs, the women…” She shook her head. “Not that I’m worried about you being with other women. I’m not. But it’s a lifestyle. The temptation will always be around, and if I’m not, around, that is—”
“You’re worried drugs or alcohol might lower my inhibitions.” I’d feel the same way in her position. I sure as hell wouldn’t want her on the road with our crew, partying like a rock star, while I sat at home, having to guess what was going on.
“Something like that.” She popped another square of cheese in her mouth. “I know I have to trust you, and it’s not like I think you have a problem with substance abuse. You could probably take it or leave it, but…”
I liked to drink, smoke a little weed with my boys. I’d experimented with cocaine, but the heavier shit scared me. I knew I could get addicted and de-rail my life with that stuff. So I kept it light and practiced moderation, same as most artists in my business.
“You’d rather I leave it?” I wanted to be a man my kids would be proud of and if that meant setting a good example, I’d leave the booze and drugs behind. “Yeah?”
She bit her lip. “Um, it’s not that I never expect you to have a drink again, Knox. I know you’re not an alcoholic or anything. But being on the road without me might...” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Tempt you to get lost in that shit again, and I don’t want to lose you. To anything or anyone.”
Chee told me to tell her about their plans when I thought the time was right, and it felt right now. “So listen,” I took her hands. “I know you love your family and you’re determined to be there for your parents, but they don’t want you to sacrifice your happiness for them, Ce.”
“I’m not gonna let my sister—”
I shut her up with a kiss. My favorite way to silence her. “Just hear me out, babe. The reason Chee wanted me to come out here was because he’d been doing some thinking, makin’ some plans and he needed someone to help execute those plans. I guess I was his guy.”
“I don’t follow,” she said, shaking her head. “He’s never said anything to me about—”
“He heard you and your sister wanted to move back here. He’s not havin’ it, babe.” I smiled. “You know Chee, when he’s got his mind made up about something…”
She sighed. “There’s no changing it. I know. But we can’t leave Mama alone to deal with this on her own. It’s not fair. Besides, neither one of them are getting any younger.”
