Chapter 1
Dade
Ugh. Just when I thought I’d hit rock bottom I found new reasons to hate myself. This morning I was an uninvited guest in a house that wasn’t mine, sleeping in a bed I’d shattered during the rowdiest sex of my life, after a few too many, with a woman who was so… off limits.
I cracked an eye open and looked up, way up, at the headboard that should have been attached to the vintage bed that had collapsed during round two, when I’d been taking her from behind. What the hell was wrong with me?
I was supposed to be the best man at my good friends’ wedding. Making sure their needs were my top priority. Instead I’d cornered the bride’s sister in the kitchen after all the guests left… and shifted the focus toherneeds.
“Guess we did that, huh?” Charli wrinkled her pert little nose before twisting her lips from side to side. “Well, I don’t think we’ll be able to get it fixed, but maybe we can find a replacement before Knox and Cece get back from their honeymoon? I think they said something about spending a few days here before they went home.”
The mention of my friends turned my stomach as I threw my arm over my eyes. How the hell was I gonna explain to one of my best friends that I’d not only banged his sister-in-law, but I’d also broken the freakin’ bed in the process?
“I don’t believe this,” I muttered.
I was lying on a mattress on the floor, next to a woman I’d been fantasizing about for months, and the only thing I could think about was how to piece shit back together again. Not the bed. I knew I could throw enough money at that problem. But no amount of money could fix the mess going on inside of me. The hateful self-talk, churning gut, spinning head, and confusion.
“What?” Charli asked, rolling on her side, as she propped her head in her hand. “You don’t believe what? That we did the deed or broke the bed?”
Why’d she have to be the best sex of my life? I’d had a few too many drinks when I came on to her, but there wasn’t enough booze in the state to obliterate my memories of the things we did.
It started with a hot kiss on the dance floor in front of all of her relatives, including her over-protective biker daddy, who looked like he was ready to take a hit out on me by the end of the night. If I’d just let it end there, with the kiss, I wouldn’t feel like I was sinking in quicksand right now.
But my mistakes were always loud and brazen, the kind that made the rest of the world sit up and take notice. And why should this one be any different?
“Hey,” she said, touching my arm. “It’s no big deal, Dade. We’ll get the bed fixed and forget this thing ever happened. You don’t have to act like it’s the end of the world.”
To her it may be no big deal, but I knew where a harmless one-night stand could lead. I was like a drug addict when it came to beautiful women. That’s why I’d gone into exile after my two divorces and one failed engagement. I couldn’t keep doing this… letting my dick do my thinking for me.
I looked into her pretty green eyes, wishing like hell I didn’t have to hurt her. None of this was her fault. It was all on me. I should have had more self-control than to take her to bed last night, but when I started pulling the pins out of her strawberry blonde hair, watching it spill in waves down her creamy back, I was past the point of no return. I had to have her. And nothing short of her saying no would have stopped me.
“Charli,” I sighed. “You’re a beautiful woman, obviously, but—”
“I’m not your type,” she said, raising her hand. “It’s okay, I get it. You don’t owe me an explanation.” A wide smile made her dimples pop, but I could tell it was fake. “I’ve seen the women you go for—classy, sophisticated—and that’s not me.” She smirked. “Truth is, I wouldn’t know one designer logo from another.”
I didn’t know why she thought that would be a deterrent. I loved that she didn’t care about shit like that. I didn’t either. The women I’d been with in the past though, they were all about the bling.
I brushed a lock of hair off her face and… damn… her fair skin was like silk. So addictive I let my calloused hand trail down her shoulder and arm, linking my fingers through hers. I was supposed to be putting distance between us, not trying to draw her closer, but I’d never played by the rules, not even my own.
“You know I’m attracted to you,” I whispered, shifting closer. “Hell, I couldn’t take my eyes off you when we first met at the hospital.” I brushed my lips over her shoulder, watching her skin turn pink from the scruff on my jaw. “And every time we’ve been together since, it’s been… torture.”
She tipped her head back to look me in the eye. “Really?”
Her eyes were so soft, so trusting. It made me want to shut out the rest of the world, to forget about all the opportunists who’d ever want a piece of me, and just get lost in her for a while. “I don’t know if your sister ever told you this, but I saw you at one of my concerts.”
She smiled. “You actually remember seeing me?”
It felt like a gut-punch the first time I saw her. She’d been front and center with a few of her girlfriends, singing the words to every one of my songs, her arms in the air, her taut little body swaying back and forth, her hand reaching for mine, and I didn’t disappoint. Our hands touched and I felt like I’d been shocked.
“You were wearing short denim shorts, cowboy boots, a straw TK cowboy hat, and this tight lime green tank top.”
She slapped my chest, grinning. “Ohmigod, I can’t believe you remember what I was wearing!”
I couldn’t believe it either. A woman had never stood out to me like that at a concert, before or since. “I even had my stage manager try to track you down after the show, but you were already gone.”
Her jaw dropped as I closed my hand around the one she still had planted on my chest. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
