He didn’t seem to relish the idea of calling me his addiction, but I really wouldn’t mind. If he had to have me morning, noon, and night… I’d be more than happy to oblige. Only one little problem with that. I could just as easily become addicted to him. And that would sting like a bitch when I inevitably had to leave.
He hooked his thumbs into my capris and panties, sliding them down my legs while kissing the exposed part of my breasts as I threaded my hands through his hair. I watched him unhook my bra and slip it off while I pushed his T-shirt over his head. Every second was making us more frantic and when our mouths finally collided, it was a hot clash of tongues, teeth, and lips.
He groaned into my mouth when I reached into his sweats and curled my hand around his erection. Remembering how incredible he felt filling and stretching me prompted me to widen my stance, inviting him to engage in his own exploration. I was so ready for him. Truth be told, I had been since the second he cleared the last step and his eyes met mine.
“Last chance to back out,” he said, taking my hand as he walked backwards into the shower. “And I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” My heart hurt when I saw a hint of self-recrimination in his eyes. “No woman in her right mind would sign on for my mess, Charli.”
His choices had left him broken, and as strange as it sounded, I wanted to be the one to piece him back together again. To make him believe that he didn’t have to be defined by his past or his mistakes anymore.
“Then call me crazy,” I said, stepping into the shower after him. I flattened my palms against his chest, backing him into the stone tile wall as the hot shower spray rained down on us. “Because I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.” I kissed him, letting my lips tell him all the things I was afraid to. I was falling for this guy. Hard. “Until you tell me to.”
“What if I don’t want you to leave?” he asked, his large hands coasting over my body. “What if I can’t let you go?”
I was trying to break my pattern. No more clingy, needy, desperate men for me. No more users or abusers. Only strong men who knew what they wanted from now on. And the man standing before me, with his heart in his hands, as his lips travelled down my neck, over the slope of my shoulder as I melted into his heat… he was strong. But he was also weak. Maybe he was using me, to block out his pain, to forget all the women who’d wronged him. Only time would tell. But if I saw the warning signs, I promised myself I’d cut and run before I got in too deep. I owed that to myself.
His hand was between my legs, cupping me possessively, and just like the first time, his touch felt like he was staking his claim. Branding me, as he put it. Because when he touched me, it was hard to remember a time when another man had made me feel this way.
His fingers were stroking as he backed me into the wall and raised one of my legs so that my foot rested on the bench. I was open and exposed to him, but the hunger in his eyes made me want to open up to him even more. My heart. My soul. My body. I wanted to show him who I really was, to let him peel back the layers no other man had bothered trying to crack.
I was totally absorbed in his touch when he started circling and prodding, out of my head and consumed by his caress. Especially when his lips claimed mine and my body started to thrum. I was close, so close, as I moaned into his mouth, breathless and desperate.
Reading my mind and body, one quick flick of his finger and I was done. Drawn into a vortex that narrowed to a point where the only thing that mattered was the energy coursing from his body to mine.
He inched me down on the bench, out of the direct spray of water, while dropping to his knees. I watched him spread my thighs, but I felt too drained and boneless to utter a word as he worshipped me with his mouth. It was so intense, but it felt too amazing to stop him. Before long, the sensitivity gave way to an ache punctuated by breathless moans as I curled my hands around the edge of the bench and tried to remain still for the most erotic storm of my life.
I was frozen, all of the pent-up energy concentrated in one area before my heart started to pound and I found my voice. It echoed in a cry off the walls, his name falling from my lips as my body thundered with a release so powerful I feared I might pass out as he kissed his way up my body.
His eyes found mine before his lips did and his kiss was so sweet, so tender, I felt tears well in my eyes. How had I lived my whole life before finding a man to worship me this way?
“You okay?” he whispered, his cheek pressed against mine.
I nodded, curling my arms around him. I wanted to hold on and never let go. To experience this feeling every day for the rest of my life, in the arms of a man who made me feel… safe. I realized that’s the way Dade made me feel, safe, and it’s the feeling I’d been craving ever since I left home. A place to feel like I belonged again.
“Damn it, no condom,” he grumbled, bracing his hands on the bench to support his weight. “I’ll be—”
“I’m on the pill.” I couldn’t believe I’d actually suggested a man with Dade’s past trust me with something so monumental. My sister told me he’d found his ex puncturing his condoms with pins, trying to trap him with a baby when their relationship hit the skids. She didn’t want to lose her meal ticket and was desperate to keep him through any means necessary.
“Never mind,” I said, shaking my head when he didn’t respond. “I don’t expect you to believe me. You should go get the condoms. It’s better anyway. Just to be safe.”
I had no doubt Dade was clean. He’d told me during our night together that he’d been tested after every one of his relationships ended because his trust had been broken and he wasn’t sure his exes had been faithful to him.
“Charli,” he said, curling his hand around my cheek. “Listen to me. Baby, I do believe you’re on the pill. I know you’d never lie to me about that.”
The trust we were building felt so real, like nothing I’d ever experienced before. And I wanted to believe he felt the same way. But this was so new and there were too many unknowns. Was this just sex? Or something more?
I nodded, waiting for him to tell me whether he was willing to cross that line.
“But this is a big deal. I told you the truth about getting tested—”
“I know.” And I’d told him that unprotected sex was non-negotiable for me, so I could understand why he seemed so hesitant now. He was probably wondering whether I’d ever been this reckless before, but I hadn’t.
“You don’t know how much I want this,” he said, dropping his head, like he was wrestling with himself.
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“Are you sure?”
I didn’t even hesitate when I said, “Yes.” I was acting on instinct, trusting myself to make the right decision.
