His smile spread and he winked. “Kind of like sex, right? Scary the first time, but once you’ve done it once you can’t wait to do it again.”
Charli threw her head back and laughed, but I wanted to go for his jugular. After my warning last night, I couldn’t believe he was still making a play for her.
“You,” I said, crooking a finger at him. “Outside.” I pointed to the kitchen door behind him. “Now.”
“Guys,” Charli said, looking uneasy. “I don’t want you to—”
“Relax, sweetheart,” Reed said, standing and tucking his chair in. “He always gets like this when he feels threatened. I’ll set him straight.”
Threatened? Was he serious right now? I pushed him through the door and down the walkway, towards my home studio and away from the guest house. “What the hell was that?” I demanded. “Why are you putting pressure on her? Isn’t it obvious she doesn’t want to go out on the road with you?”
“Why are you talking for her?” Reed asked, looking amused. “You’re not her boyfriend. And even if you were, it would still be her call.”
I knew when I was being baited by one of my asshat friends but that didn’t make it easier to deal. Tipping my head back, I prayed for patience, but found none. My rage was simmering. But I didn’t know if I was mad at Reed or myself. At least he had the balls to go after what he wanted. I was pretty sure I’d lost mine after relationship number three went south.
“I know what she wants,” I said, between clenched teeth. “We had a long talk about it last night. And she doesn’t want to go on the road with you.” I stepped closer to make my point. “So back the hell off. And quit flirting with her or I’ll throw you out on your ass.”
Reed shook his head before swiping a hand over his face to hide his smile. “Dude, you’ve got it bad for this girl. Why the hell are you draggin’ your heels? Make your move already.”
I stepped back, forcing air into my lungs. If Reed was encouraging me to go for it, he wasn’t serious about making a play for Charli. “You know I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
I turned in a slow circle, clasping my hands behind my head. “I can’t fuck up again. It could cost me everything.” Just thinking about losing it all made it tough to breathe. I’d worked too hard, come too far, to watch my life fly off the rails now.
Reed gripped my shoulder. “Listen to me. I screwed up with Brook ‘cause I thought I had all the time in the world for marriage and kids. I thought she’d wait around. She loved me, right? That’s what I kept telling myself.”
I turned to face Reed, knowing how hard it was for him to talk about Brooklyn.
“But time ran out on us, man. I wasn’t giving her what she needed and she bailed on me.” He stabbed a thumb at his chest. “I’ve got to live with that. It kills me. Every goddamn day the pain just eats away at me, ya know?”
It wasn’t like Reed to talk about his feelings, so I knew the pain must run deep for him to open up like this. “I know—”
“You don’t know.” He shook his head. “You don’t have a clue. I know you’ve never loved like that. In the past, your relationships ended and you felt like shit because you’d failed. That’s how you viewed it—as a failure. You weren’t gutted that you lost the love of your life.”
I couldn’t deny he was right. “I may not have felt the way you did about Brook, but—”
“What if Charli’s the one to make you feel that way?”
My breathing was getting labored again as I tried to process what it would mean if Reed was right. What if Charli was “the one” and I let her get away because of my stupid pride and fear? But it was so much more than that. If I was just a regular guy, not someone living in a fish bowl with eyes on me all the time, I wouldn’t hesitate to go all in with Charli. No matter the risk to my heart or pride. But there was so much more at stake. My brand, worth almost a billion dollars. All of the people who depended on me for their livelihood.
“Maybe it’s selfish to want it all.” That’s what I’d been telling myself since my last relationship ended. I already had so much more than most. I had no right to expect a solid marriage and family too, but Knox shot that theory to hell when he married his best friend and the love of his life. If he could have it all… maybe I could too?
“And maybe you’re just scared,” Reed said, lowering his voice. “I get it. You’ve been through hell, jerked around by one woman after another. But let me ask you this.”
I waited, anxiety making my gut clench as I imagined his next question.
“It’s five years out. You’ve got more gold on your shelf. More platinum records lining your walls. Millions more in your portfolio.” He gestured behind him. “And you’re still living here… alone. Listening to the echo of your own footsteps. Lost in the silence. Cold and alone in an empty bed.”
“I don’t wanna hear this.” I didn’t need to. I’d thought about that possibility too often.
“Hear me out,” he said, showing me his palm. “Knox happens to mention in passing that his sister-in-law’s getting married. She’s pregnant. Stoked to be having a baby with her man.”
I hated my friend right now, because he was forcing me to face my fears.
“How do you feel?”
“How the fuck do you think I’d feel?” My breathing was harsh, my temperature rising. I wanted to hit something or someone and Reed was making himself an easy target.
