Of course I had to give her an out. She deserved that. “If that’s what you want, you know I’ll respect that.”
“Is that what you want?” she asked, peering at me through her lashes.
“Hell no. I wanna stay here with you. Or we can head up to my place?”
Her breath was ragged when she curled her hand around my shoulder. “I don’t know what to do, honestly. I want you. Whenever we’re together I always want you. But I meant what I said earlier.”
“I know.” I had no doubt she meant every word, that’s why I couldn’t stop thinking about it. In the end she wanted a guy who could put her first. And I was someone who’d never put anyone or anything above my career.
“Come in,” she whispered, brushing her cheek against mine. “And I want to talk some more. Then we’ll see, okay?”
“Sounds good.” As much as I wanted her, I’d never pressure her. She had every reason to shoot me down and I wouldn’t blame her if she did. But I prayed she wouldn’t. I needed her tonight.
She’d opened her door before I could, but I met her at the passenger’s side, closing the door before backing her into it. My hands were on either side of her, caging her in, when my lips came down on hers. Tentative at first, then searching, before I started demanding more.
She’d said she wanted to talk. I wanted that too. But I wasn’t opposed to pillow talk. Especially when she tasted so incredible.
Charli was nibbling at my lip, her arms circling my waist and I was hovering over her, blanketing her with my body as I pressed my erection into her soft belly. Goddamn, this woman was addictive. The more I had of her the more I craved her. My head told me this was a mistake, but my body and heart begged to differ.
Tearing her lips from mine, she panted, “Let’s take this inside.”
I held her hand and led her up the walk before sliding a key into the lock and pushing the door open. “I heard what you said about talking,” I said, pressing her against the door, my hands framing her face as soon as she closed the door. “And I’m all about it, but Charli, baby, I’m all about you too. And right now I don’t know if I could string two more words together.” I brushed her lips with mine, closing my eyes as I breathed her in. “I want you so much. It’s making me crazy.”
I had my answer when she started un-doing the buttons lining the front of my shirt.
Curling my hands around her wrist, I forced myself to ask, “Sweetheart, you’re sure? No pressure, if—”
“Don’t ask if I’m sure.”
Her jade eyes were filled with so much emotion that it was hard to look away. Her inner turmoil was as evident as mine. We both wanted this, but it scared us how much. We could walk away from this… relationship… or whatever it was, broken and battered again and we both had too many scars to risk more.
“I’m not sure. About anything…” She tipped her head back, her hand skimming my bare chest. “Except how right this feels. My head and heart are at war over you, Dade. And I still don’t know whether my heart will win.”
Logic or emotion. Opposite sides of the same sword when it came to love. At least in my experience. I understood her inner battle well. I’d lived it. Was still living it. This time with her. And it felt like there was more at stake then there’d ever been before.
“The only thing I know for sure,” I whispered, stealing another kiss, “is that I can’t let you come out the loser in this, Charli. I care too much about you to see you get hurt.” I thought I was too wound up to talk, but the words poured out. “I won’t be the guy who does another number on you.”
“And I won’t be the girl who does another number on you.”
Strangely, I wasn’t even worried about her hurting me. I trusted her with my heart, after I swore no one would ever gain my trust again. It was whether she could fit into my world that concerned me more.
Would she end up resenting me after a year, the way every other woman had? Would the long nights alone prove too much? Or would it be the other women vying my attention that would eventually push her over the edge? The scandalous rumors and lies about my life on the road? The pics posted on social media with beautiful concert goers who claimed one-nighters that never happened because they were chasing five minutes of fame?
There were so many possibilities, so many ways for me to hurt her without meaning to.
That’s why I knew I should walk away now. Before I inflicted permanent damage, scars that would never heal. Before we made memories that were so bittersweet we ached when we thought of them. I had a flashback of the shower and wondered if it was too late to pretend we weren’t already there.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Her eyes were pleading when she said, “No holding back.”
Chapter 15
Charli
Iwas terrified to ask what was going on inside his head, but I had to know. Before we slept together again. Was this just sex? If it was, I’d deal. I wanted him tonight and was willing to handle the fallout if it meant I fell a little deeper, waking up in his arms.
“I’m thinking you’re too damn perfect.” He shook his head, looking frustrated. “You’re everything, Charli,” he whispered fiercely. “Everything I’ve ever wanted. But I still don’t know if I can have you.”
I would have been frustrated by any other guy’s confusion and indecision, but Dade wasn’t most men. He had every right to feel the way he did. The stakes were higher for him. Hell, he stood to lose everything if he tarnished his reputation even more.
