“I know what I said.”
Gia sighed as she hopped up on a stool at the small breakfast bar as she watched me pace the floor between her open kitchen and living area. “Maybe you should start at the beginning and tell me what the hell happened.”
Since trapping it inside would only make me feel worse, I took a fortifying sip and let it all pour out. “He basically backed me into a corner, gave me an ultimatum.” My stomach clenched as his words came flooding back, but I forced myself to continue. “I know Rhett. No way would he go on with this sham of an engagement forever. He wants something real.”
“And you don’t?”
I gave her a look, trying to remind myself it wasn’t her I was annoyed with. It was the girl in the mirror. And maybe my mother, who’d been filling my head with lies since I was an impressionable kid, making me believe them. And my father, who couldn’t keep it in his pants, for the sake of his young family, like he’d promised when he took those vows.
“You know me, G. No way could I…” I waved my hand in the air, like I expected her to read my mind through my frantic hand signals. “You know, do the whole marriage thing. I would suck at it.”
“Really?” She bit her lip, like she was trying to decide whether to challenge me while I was feeling so vulnerable. “Because you told me you actually liked living with Rhett—”
“We weren’t living together,” I snapped, taking a deep swallow of wine. “He was staying with me. Temporarily. Big difference.”
“But you didn’t want him to go.”
I’d never admitted as much, though I didn’t have to. We’d gotten good at reading each other’s minds. “So?” I shrugged. “I got used to having him around. It proves nothing.”
“It proves,” she said, gently. “That you don’t want to be alone anymore. That you liked having Rhett around—”
“Stop!” I raised my hand. “Please, don’t try to convince me I’m ready for something I’m not. And never will be. Rhett is better off without me.” Even though it killed me to admit that. “And I’m better off without him, end of story.”
Gia jumped up when her oven timer went off. She donned a colorful oven mitt before taking the bubbling casserole dish out of the oven and resting it on a woven disc on the quartz countertop. “I’m your best friend,” she said, eyeing me as she reached for her wine glass. “That means it’s my job to tell you when you’ve got your head so far up your ass you can’t see the obvious. That man is in love with you, Briar.”
I shook my head vehemently, before downing the rest of my wine in three gulps. “No.”
“Yes.” She raised an eyebrow when I reached for the wine bottle. “You can’t drink this away. And you can’t continue to live in denial either. You’re in love with him. He’s in love with you. So, what are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing! I told you it’s over.” I walked to the window, needing to put some distance between us. I knew if our situations were reversed I’d be challenging her too, but I felt too weak to defend my gutless decisions today.
“It’s over,” she repeated, reaching into the overhead cabinet as a I stared out the window, watching some guy get into a late model Nissan in the parking lot. He wasn’t bad looking. Average height. Build. Car. Clothes. Everything about him and every other guy who caught my eye screamed average compared to Rhett. What the hell was I going to do? How was I supposed to get him out of my head?
“It’s over.” I had to get used to hearing those words. Saying them. Maybe eventually I’d even start believing them. “Can we move on now?” If only it were that easy to move on from a guy like that. He didn’t just taunt with memories of the best sex of my life. His voice haunted. His touch branded. His smile made my heart hurt. And his anger and frustration… broke me.
“And you’re sure that’s what you want?” Gia asked, pointing to the bistro table, already set with floral plates in the corner of her kitchen.
“That’s the way it has to be,” I said, firmly. “But enough about me. I want to hear about you. How’s biz?”
Her smile spread, making it easy to see how my best friend had gained such a huge following online. Her sweet disposition made her someone every woman wanted to befriend, while her beauty and cooking skills made her someone every man wanted to marry. But she was holding out forthe one. The guy who made her toes curl, her heart race — someone like Rhett. Ugh. My best friend and Rhett? That was not a visual I needed if I had a prayer of scarfing down lunch while pretending my heart wasn’t shattered like glass.
“It’s amazing, actually.” She set the casserole dish down between us, along with homemade bread, garlic butter, and tossed salad. “This is supposed to be a quick and easy dinner recipe that I’m featuring next week,” she said, rolling her eyes. “So, forgive me for making you eat like a lumberjack.”
It felt like the first time I’d smiled since I watched Rhett walk out of my house. For the last time. Ugh. I had to quit feeling sorry for myself. I wanted him to leave. He hadn’t bailed on me. I’d forced him out. And I had to live with that.
Gia curled her hand around my wrist, her dark eyes warm with compassion and understanding. “You sure you’re gonna be okay, hon? I’m sure it’s not too late to change your mind. If you just go to Rhett, tell him you need to take it slow—”
“No.” I shook my head before diving into the bread. “Can’t happen. Won’t happen.” I needed to distract myself, and get off the subject of Rhett and my own inadequacies before I lost my shit. “How’s Joel?”
Joel was her childhood best friend. Her parents had owned a country house just down the road from his family’s farm and they’d been inseparable until they went their separate ways in college. He’d moved back recently, taking over his family’s farm after making a small fortune in the stock market.
“Good.” She laughed, digging into the pasta.
Her expression was thoughtful and I knew she was thinking about ways she could improve the recipe before presenting it to her audience. As far as I was concerned it was perfection.
“I’ve never seen a man more in need of a woman though, Bri. That place is a hot mess.”
Joel was ridiculously handsome, in a rugged way. He had bulging muscles from real manual labour, shallow dimples, and a smile that routinely melted panties. But according to Gia they’d never risk their friendship by crossingthatline.
