“You also said you’ve been dead-tired, falling asleep on the couch by ten o’clock every night.”
“So what? That doesn’t prove anything!” I fell asleep on the couch because I couldn’t stand to sleep in a bed that reminded me of him. I fell asleep so early because I was depressed and pissed at myself for being an idiot.
She gripped my shoulders, looking me in the eye. “Look, maybe you’re not pregnant. I pray you’re not because I know that’s the last thing you need or want right now. But don’t you think you need to know for sure, to put your mind at ease?”
“I wasn’t worried about this shit until you showed up here with this.” I waved the box in her face, growling when I felt the hot sting of tears burn my eyes. What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn’t a crier. I never got overly emotional, but lately it was like a tap I couldn’t turn off. Ugh! Not another symptom…
“Please,” Gia said, grasping my hand when I tried to walk away. “For me? If you won’t take the test for yourself, do it for me.”
I hated when she guilt-tripped me into doing shit I didn’t want to do. But she was right. I couldn’t bury my head in the sand and pretend it wasn’t a possibility. I sucked at remembering to take pills, which explained why I had a full bottle of expired multi-vitamins in my bathroom cabinet.
It was time to come clean, freak out at my own stupidity, put my big girl panties on and pee on the damn stick already. “We didn’t use condoms all the time.”
Gia stared at me wide-eyed before she whispered, “Why the hell not? You always use condoms.”
She wasn’t wrong. It was another one of my unbreakable rules. “Because it was Rhett.” As though that should have explained everything. “I trust him.”
“Yeah, but—” She shook her head. “You can’t trust yourself. I know you. You’re always forgetting to take your pills. How many times did you forget while you two were…?”
“A few, I think.” I hated myself for being so careless, especially when Rhett and I weresosexually active while he was living with me. It was irresponsible. Unforgiveable. Another reason for him to hate me. But before I chastised myself six ways to Sunday, I should probably learn my fate.
Gia drew a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. “Okay, so you definitely need to take the test then. There are two in the box, just in case you need confirmation.” She steered me down the hall to the bedroom, stopping just outside my ensuite bathroom. “Now get in there and do it.”
I fisted my hair before scraping my nails over my scalp as my stomach did flip-flops. “I can’t, G. What the hell am I going to do if it’s positive?”
“You banged a billionaire, not a twenty-year-old high school drop-out. You know Rhett. He’ll man up, take responsibility—”
“But I can’t have a baby! Are you crazy?” I was just getting used to the idea of a relationship, now I was supposed to guide and protect someone totally dependent on me for everything. I was on the verge of hyperventilating just thinking about it.
“There are other options,” she said, softly. “You don’t have to have the baby, Briar. It’s your decision. Yours and Rhett’s. But you may be scaring yourself for no reason, hon. You don’t even know if you are pregnant. So go in there, take the test, and then we’ll figure out what to do, okay?”
I felt numb as she nudged me into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The last time I’d taken one of these tests I’d been in college. I got loaded at a party and barely remembered the guy the next day, much less whether he used a condom. Thankfully it had been a false alarm and all my tests came back negative so he’d been clean.
I followed the steps, cursing my trembling hands as I squeezed my eyes shut. I replaced the plastic cap and set it down on the quartz countertop. I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs as I washed my hands, trying not to peek at the stick.
Before I got the results I ran out of the room and flopped down on the bed, curling into his pillow.
“It’s positive?” Gia asked, giving me a sympathetic look.
“I don’t know,” I said, mumbling out of the side of my mouth as I buried my face in the pillow.
“For crying out loud!” She threw her hands up in the air. “I’ll go check.”
My heart was beating so hard by the time she returned I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack. “Oh God!” I sat up, reading her expression even before she nodded. “I’m pregnant?”
She sat on the edge of my bed, curling her hand around my ankle. “It’s gonna be okay, honey. You’ll get through this. You have your family, friends, Rhett—”
“Rhett hates me!” I wailed. “And he’s going to hate me even more when I tell him I was too stupid to remember to take my pill!”
“Hey! He chose not to use the condom. He could have if he was so worried about becoming a daddy.”
No. This was all on me. I’d told him we didn’t need one, that it would be safe to go without one. But I’d been so hot for him at the time, I couldn’t really be held accountable, could I? It was like trying to hold someone accountable after smoking a few joints… because Rhett’s touch, his mouth, his words, his package, just impaired my judgement. It could technically be considered his fault for being so damn irresistible.
I rolled on my back, staring up at the ceiling as I tried to find an ounce of reason. I wasn’t a teenager. I was a grown woman with a good job, a home of my own, and money in the bank. I could afford to care for a baby, even if I felt emotionally inept. And Gia was right about my family and friends. I knew they’d step up. My workplace had a daycare centre. And Rhett was obscenely wealthy. No way would he leave me high and dry, even if becoming a daddy hadn’t been part of his immediate plans.
“Okay,” I said, swallowing a few times. “I need you to do my thinking for me because my brain is fried right now. I obviously can’t tell Rhett this over the phone, but who the hell knows when he’ll be back. You think I should ask Jake to tell him there’s been some kind of emergency at work to lure him back here?”
She rolled her eyes, looking disgusted. “No, I don’t think you should lie to get the man back here, Briar.” She slapped my leg. “Isn’t it bad enough you lied about your feelings for him?”
