* * *
I was awake before Briar the next morning, standing at the stove making eggs, bacon and toast when she wandered into the kitchen looking hot as hell in short black shorts and a white tank top without a bra. Her hair was back in that messy bun and her face was scrubbed free of make-up. I’d never believed that shit about pregnant women glowing, but damn, Briar made a believer out of me. She was radiant.
She reached for the coffeepot before I said, “There are decaffeinated pods in that canister right there,” I said, inclining my head. “I sometimes like a coffee before bed and that ensures the caffeine won’t keep me awake.”
She wrinkled her nose and heaved a sigh. “You’re right. I guess there are lots of things I’ll have to give up now that I’m pregnant, huh?”
“Does that bother you?” I asked, removing the bacon from the skillet. “Having to make sacrifices for the sake of—”
“Of course not,” she snapped. “You know me, Rhett. I’m not a monster. I’m not going to put my own baby at risk by being selfish.”
I knew we had a difficult road to navigate. We were both strong-willed people who liked to call our own shots, but nothing was more important than this baby. He or she had to come first. Always.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“No, I’m sorry.” She rested her hand on my back. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I guess I’m just a little freaked out about being pregnant. It’ll take some time for me to wrap my head around it.”
I’d laid awake last night thinking about what was best for her… and our baby. And I had an idea I hoped she’d agree to, but with Briar nothing was a sure thing. “Do you have to head back right away?” I plated our food and carried it to the weathered wood table in front of the wraparound windows facing the ocean while she followed me with our coffee.
“Um, that was the plan. I haven’t had a chance to check flights yet though. Jake was kind enough to arrange your company’s jet for my trip here—”
“Jake?” I’d meant to ask her how she’d found me, but it seemed inconsequential in light of her news. “Does he, uh, know…?”
“That I’m pregnant?” She nodded before nibbling a piece of bacon. “Yeah, I hope you don’t mind. I thought it was only fair to fill him in, since I was asking him to go out on a limb giving me your address here.”
“I don’t mind.” I wish I’d been the first one to receive the news though. I would have given anything to be there with her when she took the test. I could have talked her through the meltdown I was sure had followed. Promise her that I would always be there for her and our baby and reassure her that she would be a great mom if she gave herself the chance.
“You sure?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “You seem a little pissed.”
I realized I was scowling so I dug into my food. “I’m sure.” I chewed carefully, considering how I wanted to propose my idea. “Listen, if you don’t have to get back right away why don’t you stay for a few days? It’s a great place to relax and it would give us a chance to talk… maybe figure some things out.” I knew how I felt about the woman I loved being pregnant with my baby, but I still didn’t have a real read on how she felt… about me.
“You sure you want me to stay?” she asked, sounding skeptical. “I did kind of crash your vacation… and upend your world.”
I smiled. “You have a habit of upending my world, girl.” I felt the tightening in my chest ease when she returned my smile. I’d spent too much time being angry with her for not wanting our future to play out according to my plan, but I should have known better. Briar clearly had ideas of her own and I had to be willing to listen. To compromise. And pray that we could meet somewhere in the middle.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” She focused on her eggs, but it was obvious her mind was racing.
“Don’t be sorry. Hurricane Briar keeps me coming back for more, right?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Why? If I were you, I’d have kicked me out on my ass when I showed up on your doorstep last night.”
I might have considered it had we been at home and she only had to hop in her car to return to her house, but I knew she hadn’t flown hours on a whim. “You know how many times I’ve tried to twelve-step my way through this addiction?” I was only half-kidding. Every time I tried to get her out of my life it felt like I was fighting against a supernatural force of nature. “Too many to count.”
“I hate that I’ve caused you so much grief, Rhett.” Her eyes met mine when she said, “You’re a good guy. You didn’t deserve that.”
I’d never known her to be so apologetic or remorseful. She was usually prickly whenever I mentioned our past. “Hey, I went into it eyes wide open every time. You have nothing to feel bad about.” I may have been pissed that she didn’t see things my way, but I knew I had no right to call her out. She’d never made promises she had no intention of keeping. She’d always been honest and upfront with me, so if anyone was to blame, I was.
“How do we keep ending up back here?” she asked, gesturing between us. “No matter what happens, it seems we keep circling back… to each other.”
My heart started beating a little faster. I wondered if she was coming to the same realization I had a long time ago. We had something special. Something inescapable and undeniable.
“I don’t know, why do you think that is?” We ate in silence for almost a full minute and I knew she was choosing her words carefully. I hoped we’d one day get to the point when she wouldn’t feel so guarded, like it was necessary for her to censor every word with me.
“I think some things just are…” She reached for her decaf, curling her hands around the oversized white mug. “Like with me and Gia. We had this inexplicable connection from the day we met. We were like soul sisters or something.” She smiled. “She says it’s because we knew each other in a past life.”
I understood what she meant. I’d had that kind of connection with a few people in my life. Drew. Jake. Her. “Who knows, maybe you did.”
“It’s that way with you too,” she said softly. “Only I spent years trying to fight it because I was scared.”
