“I can sit here all night and make promises you’ll never believe, but to what end? Only time, and my actions, will prove to you that I’m worthy of your daughter. And I can promise you one day you’ll not only accept me, but you’ll love me.”
She surprised us both by laughing. “Don’t count on it, buddy.”
“You’ll love me, because you’ll see how much I love her.”
She looked as though she wanted to say more, but reached for the door handle instead. “I can see you’re just as stubborn as Codie. No sense trying to reason with either one of you.”
I watched her walk away, thinking how much fun I would have proving her wrong.
ChapterEighteen
Codie
Mav had only been back on the road eight days and I was already missing him. It wasn’t like me to miss a man. I’d always needed space, liked doing my own thing. Spending time with friends. Working out. Going to meetings. Working so hard I forgot to eat. But none of that held much appeal when I had to wake up and fall asleep in an empty bed.
He called me every night after his show and texted me during the day, but I knew he had a birthday party for one of his bandmates tonight, so I wasn’t expecting him to call until later.
I’d crawled into bed and turned on a murder mystery, struggling to keep my eyes open. I’d obviously lost the battle, because when my phone finally rang and Mav’s name flashed across my screen, the bedside alarm clock told me it was after two in the morning.
“Hey, you. You’re getting in late. Or did you fall asleep?”
“Codie, is that you, baby?”
I felt like I’d been gut-punched. I recognized that drunken slur too well. “You’ve been drinking?”
“It’s a looooong story.” He sighed. “I miss you.”
“I don’t believe this.” I closed my eyes, feeling regret and sadness wash over me. “I should’ve known better.”
“Look, don’t get all bent out of shape.”
He could barely form the words and I was disgusted. With him for drinking and trying to act like it was nothing and with myself for believing that he could be ready for a relationship so soon in his sobriety journey.
“You need to get yourself to a meeting, Mav. First thing in the morning. And talk to Trey as soon as you can.” I’d relapsed in the beginning too, so I couldn’t hate him for doing the same. If I blamed anyone, it was myself because deep down I’d known this could happen and I tried to silence my own inner voice.
“I will. God, I feel like shit.”
“Maybe you’ll remember this feeling next time,” I said, fighting back tears. “Or you won’t. I don’t know. Sobriety comes with a lot of ups and downs.”
“Yeah.” He yawned. “It’ll be okay. I’ll fix this, baby. Don’t worry, we’ll be good.”
“There can’t be a ‘we’, Mav.” I knew it was pointless to have this discussion when he was drunk. He probably wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. “You have to do this alone.”
“What?” I heard the panic creep into his voice and he sounded more alert than he had a few minutes ago. “What do you mean?”
“My sobriety means everything to me. And I worked too hard to overcome my co-dependence. I can’t go back, not ever again. Not even for you.”
“No, you don’t understand what happened. It was a stupid mistake—”
“It doesn’t matter how or why it happened, Mav. Clearly you made the decision. One drink after another after another. That’s what got you in this state.”
“But, I didn’t—”
“Listen to me. You’re a good guy. You made a mistake. I get that. It happens to people in recovery all the time. Tomorrow is a new day. You’ll start over and you’ll be okay. I really believe that.”
“But you and me—”
“There is no you and me anymore. There can’t be. You have to focus on your sobriety and I have to get back to living my own life. It’s probably for the best. I was getting too wrapped up in you and thinking about the future.”
