I groaned, tipping my head back. “I can’t do that.”
He sighed. “I’m giving you the best advice I’ve got, man. It comes from years of living this. But I can’t make you take it. I can’t force you to listen to me. You’ll obviously do whatever the hell you want. But I meant what I said when we started this tour. As long as you’re on the road with me, you’re sober. That’s non-negotiable.”
I shook my head, battling the self-hatred bubbling up inside me. “You think you need to tell me that? I don’t want to drink anymore!”
“Good.” Trey nodded. “Good, glad to hear that.”
“I need to see her, Trey.” We didn’t have another show for two days, and I knew I could be back in time.
“Don’t do that, Mav. Go to a meeting—”
“I will, I promise. But I can’t just leave things like this. I need to explain to her what happened. I need to make her understand it was one stupid night and it won’t happen again.”
Trey rolled his eyes. “Said every alcoholic ever.”
“Don’t say shit like that!” I hated the ring of truth in his statement, especially when all of my mother’s lame excuses for drinking filtered through my head.
“Look, I know you want to make it work with Codie. Believe me, I get it. When Sierra left me, I was a mess. I would have said or done anything to get her back.”
“And eventually you did.” I had to believe Codie and I could have what Trey and Sierra had because I couldn’t cope with the reality that she may have written me off already.
“Yeah, but it was a long and grueling road, for both of us.”
“I don’t care how long it takes or how hard it is. There’s no one else for me. Don’t you get that?”
“And don’t you get that this isn’t all about you?”
I let that question sink in, feeling the sharp stab of despair that used to follow me everywhere I went.
“This is Codie’s life too, and she’s built a damn good one for herself. She doesn’t need you, Mav. She has her business, respect in her field, financial security, her family, her friends—”
“You don’t know what the hell she needs.” I needed her. I had to believe she needed me too. “So, don’t put words in her mouth.”
Trey sighed. “I’m only trying to help you see this from her perspective.”
I knew I was being an asshole and Trey didn’t deserve that. “I know how much I owe you. And I respect you and your opinion, Trey. But I’ve got to see her face-to-face. I can’t just let this go.”
He nodded. “Then why the hell are you wasting time talking to me? Don’t you have a plane to catch?”
ChapterNineteen
Codie
Wariness prickled my skin when someone knocked on my door just as the eleven o’clock news was starting. I clutched my phone against my chest, trying to decide whether I should pretend I wasn’t home or…
“Codie, it’s me, Mav. Open the door, please. I need to talk to you.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived when I realized I would have to see his gorgeous face, inhale his scent, ignore his pleas, and figure out how the hell to stand my ground without it crumbling.
I took a deep breath, curled my hand around the doorknob and squared my shoulders. My frustration immediately softened into pity. He looked ravaged, like he hadn’t slept all night. Then I reminded myself he’d been drunk and was probably still feeling the effects.
“Don’t you have a show or interviews—”
“I don’t have another show for a couple days and I rescheduled the interviews. This—you—us takes priority.”
“You can’t just show up at my door like this. I blocked your number to send you a message. I’m not messing around, Mav—”
“I’m begging you,” he said, leaning on my doorframe. “Just let me explain.”
