“Weird is good,” I said, smirking.“Don’t ever try to conform.”
“How’d you get into so much trouble when you were my age?Mama said your parents kicked you out of the house.”
“I don’t blame them.If I were them, I would have kicked me out too.”No way would I ever blame my parents for anything that happened to me.I may have been young, but that was no excuse for being stupid and breaking the law.“It started out with skipping school, then alcohol, petty theft, and escalated from there.”I wasn’t going to sugar-coat anything for her.She deserved to know the truth: good, bad, and ugly.
“Did you ever finish high school?”
“When I was in prison.Got my G.E.D., and took some college courses.”
“That’s cool.”She popped a roll in her mouth and chewed before asking, “Did you ever love my mama?”
I reached for my water, trying to buy time before answering that loaded question.“Um, I think I was too young to know what love was back then, to be honest.I may have thought I did.”
“But that chick you were seeing, you loved her?”
I knew this was my moment.“First of all,” I said, giving her a pointed look.“Grace is a woman, not a chick.And yes, I’m in love with her.First time in my life I’ve ever really been in love.”
Her gaze shifted to her plate before she said, “So, you must hate me for forcing you to choose between us then, huh?”
“Quinn, look at me.”I waited until she did, before I said, “I could never hate you, sweetheart.I love you.”
She swallowed repeatedly before she said, “If I were you, I’d probably hate me.”
“Why would you say that?”
“I’ve been pushing you, trying to break you.Being a total bitch, so you’d snap, and tell me you didn’t want me in your life.”
I sank back in my chair.“Why?”
“Because I kind of hated you, or at least I wanted to.”She leaned back, crossing her arms.“If I liked you, and we started spending time together, I might… I don’t know, get too attached.And Mama warned me not to get attached to you.She said your star was rising and you wouldn’t want some bastard kid bringing you down.”
I curled my hand into a fist on the table, trying to rein in my rage.“Your mother called you that?”
She shrugged.“She calls me that all the time.It’s not a big deal.It’s what I am.”
I rubbed my hands over my face, feeling the emotional exhaustion of the past twenty-four hours finally catching up with me.“Sweetheart, listen to me.Don’t ever believe shit like that, okay?I want you.I love you.And I’m not going anywhere.I promise you.”
The side-eye said it all.She wanted to believe me, but wasn’t sure she should.
“Talk is cheap, Quinn.You’re not going to believe anything I tell you today.It’s too soon.I have to earn your trust, and that may take years.And I’m okay with that.”
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” she said, quietly.“Mama told me I shouldn’t thank you.That you still owed me a hell of a lot more, for all the years you were gone.But I know you didn’t have to step up when you got out of prison.You chose to.”
She was so mature for a sixteen-year-old.She’d been through too much, and that was partially my fault.“There was no choice.You were my daughter, I loved you, and I had to do right by you.”
“How could you have loved me?You didn’t even know me.”
“I didn’t have to know you.”I looked into her eyes.“I saw your picture and I loved you.I saw so much of myself in you.”
“Mama says I look just like you.”
“You do.”She had my hair and eye color and skin tone.My smile.Even some of my mannerisms.“And I look at you and see all the pain and confusion I felt at your age too.I don’t blame you for hating me, wanting to punish me?—”
“I don’t.”She sighed.“I mean, I did, hate you and want to punish you, but I don’t anymore.You seem like a good guy, and I do want…” She shrugged.“I don’t know, I want to be your daughter.”
I closed my eyes, fighting back the rush of emotion those few simple words evoked.“I want that too.But that ultimatum you gave me, I can’t live with that.I tried.I ended things with Grace, but I’m going to be honest with you.I can’t live without her… or you.So, please don’t make me choose.”
Her eyes drifted to her plate and she said, “That was kind of Mama’s idea.She was the one who showed me the picture of you and your girlfriend online.She said she looked like a stuck-up bitch who would make my life miserable, so I should demand you cut her loose, if you wanted me in your life.”
