“Angel?”
“Every time I see that Christmas tree in the center of the pack, I think of home. The week before Christmas, I’m usuallyscrambling to fulfill all the present requests. Our alpha only gives a few of us permission to head into the local towns for supply runs….” I stop midsentence, realizing I’m talking about them as if they still exist.
Garrett kisses the top of my head. “It’s okay, Angel. Talk about them as much as you want.”
“But they’re gone.”
“Not if you tell stories about them.”
“Then why don’t you ever talk about Marla?”
“I’ve been too angry.”
I can’t stay quiet any longer, not about this. “You should be mad at her, not yourself.”
“I know.”
I guess my face betrays my shock for he releases a deep breath. “Frank and Callen helped me realize she’s responsible for what happened. It’s taking some adjusting to my thinking. It’s hard laying blame on her, because she’s gone.”
“Then don’t blame her. Or yourself. Just accept. That’s what I’m trying to do. I get caught up in talking about my family and pack and then suddenly I realize they’re gone… That’s the hard part. One moment they’re still alive—in my head, that is—and then suddenly they’re not. It’s a shock every time, and that’s when I remember there’s nothing I can do to change the past. I have to accept the loss, but remember those I’ve lost, too.” I pound a fist against my chest. “And keep them safe in here.”
He hugs me tighter. “I really do want to hear more about your pack, what you did for Christmas… everything.”
“Christmas was fun, but a lot of work. Our alpha restricted how many and who went into town, to limit exposure. You know how easily humans freak out when they realize someone’s a shifter. I could blend more than most, not draw attention to us. But despite how much I enjoyed my job, the responsibility of buying presents from a list was always a little nerve-wracking. If I couldn’t find what a shifter wanted, I’d have to use my judgmentwhen buying their gift, so they’d have something to give their loved one. I didn’t want to make a mistake, you know, disappoint anyone.”
I turn the empty mug in my hands, looking at the bright black and white checkerboard patterned porcelain, how nice a gift it would have made for someone in my pack. “I can’t believe I used to worry about mere objects. Replaceablethings.” I set the mug down on the ground. “Nothing will ever be the same again, will it?”
“Nope.” Garrett tips the beer bottle back and takes a long draw.
“I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You keep on talking about your family and pack, darlin’. And if we’re lucky, some of your courage will rub off on me.” When he swallows several large gulps, and I know he’s thinking about her.
“It’s how a shifter lives that matters. Not how she dies, Garrett.”
He takes another swig of the beer. “Maybe this was a mistake.”
“Us?” I ask, my voice shaking. I pushed him too far today. The woods, then coming here...
He faces me with the most confused expression. “Why would you think that?” Teal eyes widen suddenly and he holds up the bottle. “I meant the beer, darlin’. It numbs me too easily. That’s why I rarely drink. Contrary to popular belief, not all wolves handle alcohol well.”
“I’ve never known a shifter to get drunk.”
“My wolf’s a lightweight. Asshole.”
“Okay, well, I don’t think it’s his choice.”
“It certainly is. He likes when I’m drunk. Makes it easier for him to take control.”
“Then stop. Unless you want to lose control for a little.”
“Nope. Bad things happen when I lose control.”
“Keep drinking,” Damien orders. Though maybe it’s not an order. I’m not sure at this point. Everything he says sounds like anorder to me. “Trust me on this, cousin, you don’t want to be sober tonight.”
The din of conversations around us quiets the moment Sadie Lynn faces the crowd. “Thank you, everyone, for coming this evening. The kids have worked really hard this year, more than the performers up here on stage. I want all the kids on the support team to stand up.” Twenty kids, twelve and older, stand up. “These are the teens who worked tirelessly on costumes, set design, and choreography. Tonight’s performance wouldn’t be possible without them.” Let’s give them a hand.”
The audience claps hard, with a few enthusiastic howls added in.
