“Thank you for getting us out of there.” I was relieved my voice sounded calm.
Alex opened my door and offered me a hand. “Do you want me to carry you?” he asked, nodding to my bare feet.
“I can walk,” I said, pulling away.
I didn’t know how to act around him after he’d seen me that vulnerable. Part of me wanted to never see him again so I didn’t have to acknowledge it. And the other part wanted to bury my face in his chest again so I didn’t have to face anyone else.
In a low voice, he said, “It scared the shit out of me that you could’ve been hurt because of me and I couldn’t get to you fast enough. You have every right to be pissed at me, but can you just give me five minutes to reassure myself that you’re really okay and then I’ll leave if that’s what you want?”
I refused to meet his eyes as I opened the door and gestured inside. I only made it three steps before I stopped and wrapped my arms around myself like that might help me to keep it together.
I whispered, “Please stay.”
I was only dimly aware of Alex gently guiding me to the living room and moments later handing me a glass of whisky. I took a deep drink, relaxing a little as the rich, earthy flavors of peat smoke invaded my senses, warming me from within.
We sat in silence, not looking at each other until he slid off the ottoman and dropped to his knees in front of me. Unreadable emotions swam in his brilliant blue eyes as he said, “I don’t know how to do this with you, Elena. I want to hug you and apologize and tell you that it’s going to be okay…but you’re this powerful, centered goddess and I don’t want to make you feel smaller, like you need to be coddled. I don’t even know exactly what I’m offering, but can you somehow use me to make yourself feel better? Would reclaiming Lady Elena help?”
For a long moment, I simply stared at him. This intensely gorgeous, shockingly perceptive man on his knees before me, offering to submit to let me feel strong again was possibly the most erotic thing I’d ever seen. He bowed his head, looking at the floor. In his white button-down with the sleeves rolled up, he was the living incarnation of forearm porn.
In a way, he was right. I could be Lady Elena, and retreat behind the imperious facade of my professional persona. She wouldn’t be scared of a bunch of photographers, no matter how aggressive they were.
But Ihadbeen scared and hiding from that wasn’t constructive. I wanted something else from him, but didn’t know how to ask for it. I, the woman who spent her life coaxing others into being vulnerable and sharing their kinks, was afraid to ask him for what I wanted. Not because I thought he would reject me or he wouldn’t be into it, but because once I’d gone there with him there’d be no turning back. If I truly submitted to him, my heart would be on the line…and this relationship had an expiration date.
I took one more sip of whisky and slid down to the floor with him, buying myself a moment to find my courage by kissing him. My lips tingled a little from the alcohol when they met his, flooding my senses with the fiery richness of the malt and the sensual caress of his tongue against mine. It was like we’d struck a match and burned away the last of my self-restraint.
“I want you to take control, to let me submit to you,” I told him quietly. I didn’t know how to explain why that would be different from what we’d done up until now, that I was offering myself to him body and soul, so I described it the only way I could think of. “BemyLucas Steel.”
His jaw clenched. The deep rumble of his voice warmed me far more than the whisky, but the look in his eyes was distant as he said, “I can do that.”
32
Alex
She may as well have tossed a bucket of ice water on me. I didn’t have a problem with whatever her fantasies were or even role-play, but asking me to be Lucas Steel in this moment was a gut punch. I’d thought we were really connecting, finally stripping away the layers we showed to the rest of the world, but she wanted me to be a fantasy just like everyone else.
If that’s what she needed, that’s what I would be.
I moved to the couch, taking another sip of my drink, then commanded in character, “Stand up and strip, pet.”
She looked unsure for a second, and stood, but didn’t take her clothes off.
“Disobeying me already?”
“No, Sir.”
My feelings may have been hurt, but that didn’t stop my dick from standing to attention at the sound of her husky voice calling me Sir. It was the first time she’d ever done it and I wanted it to be for me and not for Lucas Steel.
She removed her clothes, so I beckoned for her to move closer, forcefully nudging her feet wider once she was standing directly in front of me, spread open and vulnerable while I sat there fully clothed and in control. It looked like she was trembling, but she was flushed and panting like she wanted more.
“Clasp your arms behind your back and don’t let them go for any reason.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I tried to channel Lucas Steel, projecting ownership of her, but was finding my own desires mirrored what I would expect from his character. I trailed searing kisses along her collarbone, and down to her gorgeous breasts, taking her nipple in my mouth, circling it with my tongue and biting ever so lightly, barely letting my teeth graze the sensitive peak.
“Harder,” she breathed, arching for more.
I growled, “We’ll need to come up with something more useful for your mouth to do…” But I did as she asked, pressing my teeth hard enough to make her gasp.
