“You really came,” Alex murmured, sounding amused.
“How do you know?”
He just looked at me in response, as though it was obvious.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I crawled over onto his lap, moaning when I felt how hard he was under me. He draped one of my legs over each of his and slid a hand into my skirt, rubbing in lazy circles and discovering how wet I was. With his other hand, he cupped my breast, lightly rolling my nipple between his fingers until I was panting.
He traced tiny kisses to my collarbone. “Is it wrong I think it’s sexy watching him do that to you?” Alex pulled my skirt and panties off. I’d closed my eyes, so I didn’t even know what was happening onscreen, but I liked the effect it was having on Alex.
He positioned his legs farther apart, forcing mine to spread open wider. I couldn’t answer him because he banded one arm across my waist, holding me tight against him while he thrust two fingers into me and worked my clit with his thumb.
As he started to work a third finger in, I cried out, thrashing against him as the pleasure crashed through me, but his arm was strong enough to hold me to his chest.
“No,” I panted, catching my breath. “It’s sexy that you think it’s sexy.”
I’d lost track of what was happening in the film, but Porn Elena was now untied and we were switching positions, this time with me on all fours, nipple clamps swinging beneath me. My back was arched as Reaper approached, dick still hard.
Alex groaned as he finally connected that he was about to watch me get fucked. For once, I was the one grinning.
“You are a naughty, naughty girl for making me watch this…”
“You brought it upon yourself…”
Reaper started to fuck Porn Elena in long, deep thrusts as Alex dragged me to the floor by my hair. I loved it when he got dominant. I scrambled to my knees, pulling his cock out of his shorts and wrapping my lips around it. As he watched me get pounded from behind in the film, I slid his hard length all the way into my mouth, deeply aroused knowing that I was watching him watching me.
I touched myself with my free hand, making guttural sounds when he stopped being so gentle and gave it to me. I couldn’t breathe, but I needed this from him more than I needed air.
“Goddamn, Elena. I’m gonna come.”
I kept going when he started to climax, swallowing until he was finished, then slowly continued to slide up and down until I pulled off and rocked back on my heels to look at him.
His arms were above his head and now he was the one panting, lazy grin on his face as he gazed down at me.
“I am a fucking boy scout.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I’ve never done half of what I saw you do and I sure as shit have never gotten off while watching my girlfriend with some other dude.”
I pulled my shirt off to wipe the drool from my face, completely unselfconscious about it. If you didn’t get messy, you didn’t deep throat correctly. Alex seemed to be into it. He stroked his thumb across the corner of my mouth. “What’s the name of this shade of lipstick I love making a mess of so much?”
“Wicked Queen.” I crawled back up into his lap, worshipping him with tiny kisses.
“Wicked Queen, huh? I like that.” He gave me a deeper kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth. It was a massive turn-on that he would kiss me after I’d gone down on him.
“You just witnessed the last time I had sex,” I said softly.
“Why was that the last time?”
His expression was open and free of judgment. I could see in his eyes that he was asking because he cared, so I tried my best to explain. “I’d never had sex on camera before and was feeling vulnerable and exposed afterward. Reaper wasn’t as supportive as he should’ve been and it spiraled into a messy fight about the real things that were bothering me. It ended with us breaking up. He was just starting to escort and wouldn’t communicate with me about what he was doing and whether he was being safe about it. Looking back, I think he was just done with the relationship and pushing me away. I stuck around and tortured myself for a while.”
Alex stroked my back comfortingly, but kept listening.
“I went through a rough patch after that as I tried to get my boundaries and priorities straight. I missed submitting to someone, but didn’t ever want to be that vulnerable again. I felt like if I didn’t keep something for me, something that I wouldn’t do casually and wouldn’t do because someone was paying me, then none of it would mean anything ever again. It’s kind of a bullshit limit. With women, it only means I won’t let them put a strap-on in there, which who cares? What’s the difference between a finger and a dick?”
“If there’s a difference for you and it lets you have a boundary, then it doesn’t matter how arbitrary it is. I’m glad you’ve got a limit that lets you feel in control.”
I hesitated, unsure whether I would regret what I was about to say, and then decided it didn’t matter. “I want it with you. But this is a business arrangement and I don’t know how I would feel afterwards, once the dust settles and the lust has cooled, would I be left with fond memories or shame?”
He looked thoughtful, like he was weighing his words carefully. “To be clear, I want it too. But I don’t ever want to do something you’ll regret. It’s not worth it if this is a business arrangement to you and it’s coming to an end.”
It wasn’t until much later that I caught the “if” in what he had said. Was it an accident or had he been looking for me to catch it?
