I wasn’t ready for the careful intensity with which he removed each garment. When he released my stays, I could breathe normally again, but I was more focused on the warmth of Bastian’s hands, which I could feel on my hips even through the shift. He wrapped the fabric of it into his fists, then lifted it over my head, leaving me standing there in nothing but a pair of hose.
I wanted him to look at my breasts, wanted to see the flash of lust when he laid eyes on them, but he didn’t look. He stayed focused on the task at hand, glancing at the wool that still covered my thighs.
He knelt in front of me, a man sure enough of himself that he still looked arrogant on his knees. The way his hands skimmed up my thighs to untie my hose was nothing short of reverent, and indeed, the look on his face was pure awe.
I could get used to being undressed by this man.
One side of his mouth kicked up like he knew exactly what I was thinking, damn him.
When I stood naked before him, his eyes finally skimmed my body, and his look of hunger made my heart race faster.
“The lady will lie on the altar,” the priest commanded in a ridiculous voice meant to carry to the back of the cathedral. It rankled to obey a man I could’ve snapped in half with hardly a thought, but his time would come.
I jumped onto the stone table and spread my knees wide. If they were all going to sit there and watch, I was going to give them a fucking show. It was only a shame they were sitting so far away.
“The lady will maintain decorum!” the priest barked, running to stand in front of me to block the crowd. Decorum didn’t stop him from taking a good look, though.
Bastian nudged the priest aside and took his place at the foot of the altar, between my spread legs. His eyes didn’t leave my face, the noble prick.
“Get on with it,” I said, fighting to keep my demons at bay. To keep Layla safe, I could do this.
The priest moved back to the first line of pews, giving us the barest hint of privacy, since everyone was far enough away to be out of earshot if we kept our voices down.
The table was too high for Bastian to simply stand there and do it, so he had to climb onto it. The second his body loomed over mine, I was transported back to memories of another wedding and another husband, to horrors I’d never endure again.
My body instinctively tensed to throw him off, but I managed to master it until his weight started to settle over me and his dick nudged at my entrance.
I’m going to lose control.
“I can’t,” I gasped. “Not like this.”
He frowned, lifting to put some space between our bodies. “You’re safe with me. I’ll be gentle.”
I gripped the edge of the table like it was going to help me keep hold of my reason. “If you climb on top of me and try to stick your dick in me,gentleisn’t going to help you. I’ll lose control and snap your neck before you’ve even gotten your dick wet.”
One corner of his mouth hitched up in what I was beginning to recognize as his reflexive smile. “See? You don’t really want to kill me.”
“If I kill you now, they’ll kill my brother’s mate. I don’t want to kill you…yet.”
His eyes flicked to my white knuckles gripping the table, then back to my face. He gave me a look of pity. “If we don’t consummate it, he’ll see it as a sign of rebellion, and he’ll punish you for it. In my experience with him, that likely involves part of someone you love being sent here in a box.”
“The sex isn’t the problem. Fucking you means nothing to me. I can’t do it likethis.” I gestured to his body over my prone form.
He studied me, and I hated the understanding that softened his eyes. “To them, letting you get on top might be worse than failing to consummate it. What if we do it quickly?”
I took a steadying breath. “Can’t you just pretend to stick it in there and grunt a few times?”
He looked away. “The priest likes to…check for seed.”
“Charming.”
His expression turned tender. “You’re the bravest warrior I know. Look at me and we’ll get through this. Whatever haunts you,whoeverhaunts you, I’m not him. I’ll never be him, Sigrid.”
There he went being soft again. Softness was dangerous, and I had too much at stake for it. I assessed him, realizing he was just as ready to snap with tension. His eyes kept darting to thepriest, and each time he looked away, they flicked back to me, haunted.
I snatched at the thought, desperate for anything else to focus on. “I’m not the only one who’s afraid right now. What do you have to fear?”
Bastian blinked, then wouldn’t meet my eyes. “He neutralized your berserker. You can’t feel my fear.”
