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o “Your clit is aching for me to touch it” ? “How badly does your clit need to be touched? Tell me, say baby please touch my clit” Her: *blissfully responds*
? It sustains her arousal if you are running out of stamina and need a quick break
? Finally, dirty talk fulfills a woman’s need to feel uniquely appreciated, sexy, and feminine. We all enjoy praise and appreciation, especially women. Well, why would praise and appreciation dur
ing sex be any different? Heterosexual women crave to hear those sorts of things…from a powerful man.
Cliché Caveat: As with everything sexual: all women are different. A lot of women can orgasm from dirty talk alone; it’s that powerful for them. For others, it is an unwelcomed distraction from the experience she’s having with you and craves nonverbal communication instead.
BASICS
“Oh his way with those words, I want seconds and thirds” – Cee Lo Green
Becoming Comfortable with Dirty Talk
Lots of men feel uncomfortable talking dirty because they think it will offend women. Lots of men are also uncomfortable with being in control. Understand that things you say are interpreted and perceived differently during a sexual context. Things that would offend her “outside of sex” can cause her panties to stick to the wall if said within a sexual context.
You may have tried out dirty talk once or twice and it felt uncomfortable. Maybe hearing it out loud sounded awkward to you. Get over it. Quickly. For her sake and yours. Your words sound forced due your biased perception of them. It won’t sound weird to her at all if you say it with confidence. Think about it, why would someone who’s “on your side” want you to feel foolish when you compliment them or express yourself? Let go of the silly beliefs you have about dirty talk and give it a try.
If it only sounds weird to you then pick a few phrases and practice saying them aloud when you are alone. Or, dig around on amazon to find some best-selling erotica written by women and practice reading the erotica aloud.
That discomfort you feel, is the result of cognitive dissonance, which occurs due to your current (shitty) sexual beliefs. Your current sexual beliefs are shaping your sex life and everything about it. Figure out what those beliefs are and challenge them.
A lot of things worth accomplishing are uncomfortable the first few times you do them though. If dirty talk is outside your comfort zone (and I’m betting it is) then it is going to feel “clunky” at first. I encourage you to keep practicing it. And remember, you don’t have to talk dirty the entire session or every single time you have sex.
4 Principles for Effective Dirty Talk
First Principle: Say it With Absolute Conviction
A confident man can get away with nearly anything in the eyes of a woman. Remember that when it comes time to talk dirty. If you feel silly or afraid, don’t let it show. Better still is to work on acquiring empowering sexual beliefs so you don’t have to hide anything. Empowering sexual beliefs = sexual confidence = you dirty talk will be deliciously lethal to her. Say it and mean it. Lead the sexual dance!
It’s simple: saying it with full confidence is what gives your words their inherent sexiness in the first place.
You will repeatedly see me say: you MUST lead her mind. You MUST direct her attention (with your voice) to what’s happening inside her mind and body. When you do that with confidence, she focuses on the sensations and they become amplified.
Second Principle: Feel It In Your Marrow
Focus on how much you enjoy her and her body. Focus on how your body feels when she touches you and how aroused you get when she pleasures you. Let the foundations of your words be genuine FEELING. Feel your words as you say them to the fullest extent you can. Words packed with congruent emotions behind them come across as much more powerful.
Third Principle: She’s on Your Team
She’s your girl (possibly for one night only). She is on your team. Why would a good woman want to make you feel foolish? No (mentally healthy) woman is actively seeking to ridicule you during sex or otherwise. She wants to connect deeper with you, and dirty talk is superb for that. It makes her feel special, connected to you, and appreciated by you. Re-read that and keep it in mind as you expand your sexual repertoire with dirty dialogue. You’re both on the same side.
Fourth Principle: Begin Slow & Calibrate
Starting slow when it comes to things of a sexual nature is rarely bad advice. Dirty talk is no different. Start slow and let the sexual tension build and then introduce dirty talk to her by starting with just sensual descriptions that get progressively dirtier as her arousal increases.
If you are uncomfortable because you haven’t ever said much during sex and don’t want to dive into sexual monologues right away then I suggest you begin by making noises.
Just making sounds is the perfect starting point for gradually easing into talking dirty if you have never played around with it before. It won’t be as much of a shock to her if you started making sounds before you started talking to her during sex. Sometimes you can leverage the shock to your benefit however. Cold turkey sexual experiments have been the sexual spice that’s saved many relationships.
Moans, grunts, and groans let her know you are enjoying her. Sounds convey your praise of her efforts and that will make her want to please you even more by adding more effort. Everybody enjoys enthusiastic women, so start using more sounds to reward her efforts and ease yourself into dirty talk.
Once you are comfortable making sounds, you can progress to simply referring to what’s going on with your genitals and hers [hard, wet, swollen, throbbing, pulsing, moist etc.] before advancing to actually using the “dirty words” [cock, dick, pussy, cunt etc.]. I hope you aren’t that sexually repressed however… but just in case, doing the above works no matter where you are in your dirty talking mastery.
5 Common Questions Beginners Ask About Dirty Talk
1] What If I feel Uncomfortable During Dirty Talk?
