“I’ve always been here. Waiting for you to want me. Waiting for you to want tobewith me,” Nik snarled, punching him again. “Don’t you dare accuse me of not loving you back.”
“Why didn’t you say anything!” Jessie barked. Nik stormed up real close, eyes burning with untold fury. He curled his long fingers around Jessie’s shirt, making sure they were basically nose to nose.
Nik’s voice dropped, to a low rumbling growl. “When? When should I have told you? When you were taking over the business? When you got stabbed? Or when your father was running you through the wringer and you couldn’t stand up straight? Or when you were dating that girl over on Franklin Avenue?”
Jessie inhaled sharply through his nose, realizing very quickly, that he was still a fool. But he wasn’t a fool who misread the signal...he missed them entirely.Have we both been just thinking the other wasn’t interested? Have we been wasting all this time?Jessiestared at Nik, so angry and tired that he lost all his usual control. They were both running on fumes. Hitting the brakes, he put a hand over Nik’s.
Jessie did the only thing that made sense in that moment, bringing his best friend’s fingers to his lips and kissing them softly. Nik immediately melted, his shoulder falling down and jaw unclenching. Jessie whispered, “I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to wait for me.”
“I’m a patient guy,” Nik murmured.
“You’re a lot of things, Nikolai Sokolov,” Jessie chuckled weakly, reaching onto the hood of the car to grab Nik’s rose. When he presented it to the man who held his heart for most of their lives, this time Nik took it with a look of tender fondness. “I hope that includes being mine.”
“Wha…when?” Nik breathed, searching Jessie’s face.
“When did I find out?” Jessie arched a brow.
“I never…” Nik trailed off.
“You never had to tell me,” Jessie answered softly. “Well, okay, Pops told me.”
“Why?” Nik scrunched his face.
“He figured I’d eventually run into one of your ma’s old friends or worse. While Kierra was alive, you never had to worry about them coming around. She beat the fear of opening their yap to anyone. Plus, with that whole rumor business, someone made a joke that you were a Bonesaw brother from another mother to Ma and Pops got pissed. I asked him why he had bone chips on his knuckles and he fessed up.” Jessie had known for a while. It was simply never important who Nik’s parents were.Because you’ve always been my Nik.His bugbear glanced down at the flower once more.“So…about that part of you being mine?”
“Always.” Nik tenderly pet the soft petals that suffered a wrinkle or two in the spat then studied Jessie’s face.Please mean that, Nik. I can’t do this without you.Nik grabbed the befuddled but desperately in love man by the horns and dragged him in for a sharp kiss. Jessie hummed happily against their tangled lips.
Only, to their right, someone cleared a throat. Jessie broke the kiss first to glare at Rex. His baby brother grimaced, holding up his phone. “I really don’t want to do this, but Mom’s about to start the shows and this is the episode where we find out if Ricardo had his brain swapped out with his evil twin or if he was the evil twin all along.”
“Right,” Jessie snorted, nodding. He plucked out his keys from his pocket and nodded to the cabin of the truck. The lights flashed and the doors clicked open. Rex threw himself inside with the mad scramble of a child trying not to miss early morning cartoons with his bowl of sugary cereal. To his delight, Nik took up the roses, head ducked and ears drooped, but not in shame. He could see the curl of Nik’s smile behind his tusks as he scrambled for the truck. The petals of his blue rose sticking out the top of his shirt’s front pocket.
Chapter Twenty-six:
~Nikolai~
Nikolaisettherosein a plastic cup of water on the bedside table, not sure what to do with it yet. He had an idea, but for the moment, it was a reminder.That happened. He said he loved me. I’m so fucking goofy—why the fuck didn’t I say something earlier?The problem was he knew. Jessie was under pressure and Nikolai feared that his heart would get ripped apart in the process if he said something. So long as he didn’t say anything, he didn’t live in a world where his parents abandoned him in the city AND the only man he ever loved rejected him. There was no worse fate in his heart than Jessie not feeling the same.Because then I’d be really alone. Someone not capable of being loved. Abandoned by everyone and left a husk. Not even a person but a thing people have when they need something and discard when they’re done.
Then he looked over his shoulder at the massive, brick wall of a man slumbering in the bed beside him and his heart eased.Because he does feel the same.Nikolai stiffened in the sheets, trying not to let it hit him.Man, my eyes are really hot right now.He rubbed them sleepily, blatantly choosing to believe in dry eyes over heart broken tears.
Is this why you left me behind?Oh no.Because you knew I’d eventually get Jessie?No, that was silly, how could his mother know he’d ever fall in love.Or was it because I was too heavy to carry?Nikolai clenched his eyes shut, fingers curling up around the pillow he hugged to his chest.There has to be a reason you leftme behind…otherwise I was never valuable enough for you to take with you.A warm, broad hand rubbed up his spine and he relaxed back.
“Hey, you okay?” Jessie murmured sleepily.
“Yeah,” Nikolai exhaled heavily, his voice thick with pain he couldn’t voice.
“Come ‘ere.” Jessie’s sloppy voice was his only warning before an arm snaked under his neck, and suddenly, Nikolai was the pillow-hugged to Jessie’s chest. A huff in his ear and Jessie was already back asleep.Typical.But, Nikolai couldn’t help the smile on his lips, despite the eye roll and failed attempt to escape. He let Jessie engulf him in his massive arms.
It doesn’t matter why you left me, ma. Cause I have him. I have her. Shit, I’ve got my tiny terror too. I don’t need you, I guess.
Nikolai dropped from the land of the living, descending into clumps of sleep. He wasn’t there for long periods of time, but he would be asleep for an hour, then hear Jessie give a sleepy snort and wake up for a few moments. After his brain registered it was still quiet in the house, he would drop back down, and sleep until he heard something thump in the house. He awoke to the soft cursing of Katarina finding the bathroom in the dark, muttering to herself. Nikolai fell asleep with a soft shake of his head.
It was the third time, somewhere after four am but before five, that he felt like he was pressed against a radiator pipe. His fur was drenched in sweat, and he was pretty sure it was singed off in places. He hissed, trying to rip himself away. It was only after Jessie’s hand wrapped around his belly and forced him back that he even realized what was happening. A hard cock, like that of a steel pipe pressed between Nikolai’s sweaty thighs. His insides jerked in surprise at the sudden touch. Nikolai, however, came back to life with a groan. “Right…heat.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jessie moaned, thrusting helplessly into Nik’s thighs like the needy, desperate thing he was. “I thought I was dreaming till you clenched your thighs and suddenly…fuck.”
A few years ago, when Jessie first came to Nikolai about his heat, the man thought his best friend was fucking with him. Genuinely thought Jessie was pulling his leg and teasing him. Then, one night, Jessie appeared in his bedroom doorway with a bottle of lube and a fever dream.There’s no way any reasonable person could look me in the eye and tell me ‘sometimes, like once a year or so, my cock gets so hard a knot forms and it’s insatiable for about a month’.It sounded like a fucking joke. Then he was face down in a mattress, panting Jessie’s name and wanting more.It’s a love-hate relationship with heat.Because the spontaneity of Jessie’s knot was delicious…it was also inconvenient when Nikolai hadn’t slept much and he was bone tired.
Though…if he were being honest? His cock hardening as Jessie peppered his damp back in kisses, he wasn’t mad at the attention. After the emotional, exhausted outburst yesterday, he could use a release. His muscles relaxed as Jessie slid up against him, hips rutting slow and methodical against his backside. A hand snaking down his stomach, making sure to draw out harder and harder shivers with every swirl of his fingers, Jessie made his way down to Nik’s cock. He wrapped his long fingers around the base and Nik thought he swallowed his tongue. His toes involuntarily curled. Jessie stroked him in long, languid flicks of his wrist. Like he wanted to make sure to touch every inch of him, including tracing the underside of his tip. He switched between full grip and teasing fingers that traced the vein running down his underside.
